Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

So angry and at a loss of what to do

7 replies

Lucky08 · 07/06/2020 08:30

So my father has been furloughed now for the past couple of months and is now at home alone. He has lived Alone since mum passed away 6 years ago. I do understand how lonely he must feel since he doesn't get the social stimuli from work and from going to the pub. I try to video chat most days and I know he will video chat my sister and her children and will see them from socially distancing (I live far away and heavily pregnant, however did travel to see him socially distancing a few weeks ago on his birthday).
He has taken to playing online games with his friends which is nice for him and has also started including my partner. At first I thought it was nice they are bonding, however it's now getting too much. My dad will message my partner daily to play, but if my partner says no my dad just tells him he needs to get from under the thumb and other comments like that and my partner then tells me I'm controlling him . I don't have a problem with him playing online games, however it's got to the Point he has started playing till the early hours of the morning. On a week night this is till around midnight when my partner has to get up at 4 to drive 2 hours for work. On a weekend he will play till around 4 in the morning then sleeping all day. He has started to get irritable and snappy as he is so tired and this is causing a lot of arguments. I've tried speaking to partner about not playing so late and he just tells me I'm just trying to control what he does and that he doesn't want to let my dad down, and I've spoke to my dad who tells me to grow up and stop being pathetic. When I said to my dad that it's not fair there is a child to look after and another one on the way, he just responds saying well I'm there so I can look after them (even though I work all week and do the shopping, washing and housework at the weekend as partner is in bed). I'm so angry and upset and really feel at a loss of what to do. Am I just being pathetic and just 'chil out more's they both keep telling me I should do

OP posts:
Lucky08 · 07/06/2020 08:37

Just to add we no longer sleep together as I was sick of him coming to bed in the early hours waking me up, only to wake me up again when he goes to work.

OP posts:
33goingon64 · 07/06/2020 08:53

You aren't being pathetic, they are. One day your partner will see how badly he's treated you here. Is this totally out of character for your partner? Your Dad needs to stop manipulating him for sure, but he also needs to grow a backbone and put you first.

Lucky08 · 07/06/2020 08:55

He likes his computer but he normally knows when to stop, and he hates sleeping in on the weekend normally. I've told him he just needs to grow a pair and say no but it gets me nowhere.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Saz12 · 07/06/2020 09:53

You’ve tried having a sensible discussion with him and got nowhere.
Can you wake him at the weekend, say 9am, and leave the kids in the room with him whilst you go food shopping/exercise/other thing? Tell him on, say Wednesday that that’s what you’re doing, remind him on Friday evening, then do it.

He’ll then see that he can do whatever he likes, so long as he suffers the consequences.

MegaClutterSlut · 07/06/2020 10:02

He's being a selfish arse imo and your dad is an manipulative idiot. No way would I put up with it

Lucky08 · 07/06/2020 10:44

I don't. But then it just ends up eother an argument between me and partner or me and dad. I can't leave because the only place I have to go is my dad's.

OP posts:
bert3400 · 07/06/2020 10:50

Ask you DH if he would like to be treated this way ?. They are both being selfish towards you. But it's your DH that needs to change.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page