Reception child has forgotten how to read

[majesticallyawkward]

I've tried, I really have. I put so much effort in and was super positive for so long only to be met with irrational and uncontrollable rage that I've pretty much given up. Between her fits of rage and trying to care for her and a 6 month old I'm tapped out, there is no end in sight.

Nothing works. It all ends in meltdown (I've posted before, it's gotten worse).

And now she's back to where she was at the start of reception. Can barely read or write, maths is poor and any attempt or suggestion we do something remotely educational means a massive screaming fit, with added violent outbursts. Even trying to learn through play ends in a meltdown.

Not a single method works. She's going to go back to school and start from scratch again, as a summer born I'm worried she'll never recover.

What are we even doing, this isn't a life. This is barely an existence.

I could have written this.
My DD was never violent before, tonight I had to lock myself and her two brothers in a bathroom to escape her aggressive outbursts.
Following for support and advice too.

My summer born didn't catch up to age expected level with reading until the end of year 3. He hated reading until one day he discovered that it was actually quite funny to be able to read my text messages and that motivated him as he suddenly saw the point of it. He also just didn't get phonics and learnt to sight read.

My youngest is ahead of age expected in reading in Year 1. He has maybe read 5 banded reading books at home all year. He reads bits of books at bedtime, he reads signs and labels.

I would try and trick her into doing as much phonics and reading as you can with the phonics songs, bedtime stories, pointing out letters etc. And don't push it if she doesn't want to do anything else. Until she is receptive to learning, there is no point trying to force it.

If she's summer born can you request she stays in reception?

I wouldn't panic too much as you say she was able to make progress before so clearly the ability is there.

Keep reading stories to her, any story cds and play games... Do its sneeky.. I did lots of kids magazines in reception they all have a learning aspect to them but it's dressed in Disney or fairies...

Be sneeky!!

Don't push.

My eldest made more effort with reading once she discovered audio books, weirdly it seemed to make her realise there are good books out there and if she learned to read she could stop stumbling through 'Tim told Tam to stop' style books.

Or just watch Alphablocks, something will be absorbed!

Please don't get stressed or stress her, school will help her progress when they return properly, and any learning you do with her can be done through play.

Best thing you can do is read lots and lots of stories together and talk about them together. Who's done what and why do you think they did that etc.

If you get a chance play some games with numbers, (snakes and ladders, rolling the dice who gets most, card games) or you could ask her to count how many birds you can see on the page of a story book. That sort of thing.

There's also lots on YouTube for helping children learn phonics, but if she's having a meltdown at anything obviously educational leave that and just read to her. Otherwise the BBC supermovers do some good early years songs and dances she can join in with.

Let her draw lots, it's good for her fine motor skills, which will eventually help her writing. She could use chalk, pencils, paint (with water outside if it's too much to clear up paint). Playing with playdoh is fantastic for fine motor skills.

Outside catching a ball, hopping (hop scotch?) and jumping will help her coordination.

Just some ideas, I hope some help .

Mum of three slightly older ones here and based on the 6 weeks summer holidays experience reading can regress in children. They can resist engaging in the same way at home as at school.

I found regularly reading to them (often same book over and over and over), even going back to lift the flap and touch type younger books takes pressure off. It keeps them looking at words and seeing the link between the letters and sound.

We had the snail and the great big bloomin humpback whale every night as one of three bedtime books for about 2 years.

With writing one of the key things is maintaing that finger strength. It doesn't need to be by hours or arduous letter formation work. Playdough/ saltdough and lego are great activities to help with this. My eldest is dyspraxic and we had years and years of extra activity building that all important finger strength.

Numbers are all around how many stairs have you got? How many stones on the patio - let them chalk number them. Playing shops is fun post it notes with 1p, 2p 5p price up all the toys and give them real 1p 2 p and 5p to spend. Or have a biscuit/ sweet shop and give them coins to choose and buy their biscuits/ sweets.

@majesticallyawkward would your little one show and read one word baby books to the baby. Could she play at being the teacher for a while?

Try not to stress about it, you're keeping her safe and Try it to get her to engage that's good enough. Xxx
If she was making progress before she will again, don't worry.
If you want to, try counting games like skipping, hopping etc but you count when you do it, don't ask her to. Also read to her without asking her to read anything, just the not of being read to is enough.

Don't panic, she's really really young. In many countries they don't start formal education until a couple of years after us. She has plenty of time to catch up, as in years not weeks or months.

The most important thing at her age is to get her enjoying books and learning. I'd forget formal teaching for now. Just find things she's interested in and read to her. Don't make it a battle.

Remember most children are in the same boat. A small proportion have parents who are teachers or who are able to devote serious time to home ed but the majority are doing very little so she won't be as behind as you think.

Give yourself permission to back off for now. It sounds incredibly stressful and you have the time to try again over the summer. Just keep reading to her and adding on other methods when she is ready.

I'm your situation I think I would stop trying to teach her how to read and just make sure you are reading lots of books aloud to her and talking about them -'what do you think will happen next', 'that bit was really scary!' Etc.

If you do do phonics, keep it to stuff she knows and give lots and lots of praise for getting it right! Eg. Just basic letter sounds etc.

Have you tried any phonics apps. May work if it's a way to get extra screen time!

5 minute mum has great ideas for fun games that incorporate learning

Mine loved treasure hunts at that age. (tbf they still love treasure hunts and they're in their teens, but the clue are slightly more tricky)

So around 8 clues. If she's not wanting to read, then start with just doing pictures: A picture of a window etc. And end with some little treat.
The start writing the word under the picture. Then some of the clues just with writing.

You can also do it with numbers. Hide a number of cards with individual numbers on. They find the numbers and have to tell you the number. They then get a card with that number on and a word.
This ends up being a sentence. "look under the table"

Mine loved it and used to make up ones for each other (and me-normally with a half chewed biscuit at the end for me!) which then helps their writing.

Kids in lots of counties don’t learn writing till much older. She’ll be fine.

As an experienced education professional, don't worry,
Enjoy stories, language, books.

Children in Europe don't start to read as early as children in the Uk but read as well as children here by the age of seven.
In the UK we start earlier (whether a child is ready or not), slog longer (put children off through struggling) and get to the same point as children in Europe who start later, are much more ready and fly...to the same point. I know which method I prefer.

Even a game with numbers she'll act like she can't count and cry. Refuses to read anything at all, claims she doesn't know phonics. But before this was doing as well, if not better than sept/Oct born kids in her class.

It seems like it's just me she hates and won't engage with!

It's unfortunate timing, I get that too. She was just adjusting to life with a sibling then suddenly everything changed so that jealousy came back. It was right at the 4 month mark too.
She'd never been violent before, this is like a complete personality change.

Children in Europe don't start to read as early as children in the Uk but read as well as children here by the age of seven.
This. DD has just turned 8 and in yr2. They started to learn to learn letters and sounds in yr1 aged 6 (Sept). By January, they were still covering the single letters of the alphabet. She is now reading Harry Potter. Just make time to read to her. Enjoying books is far more important than forcing her to read and ending up with her disliking them.

4 months. Is that a significant age? My DC1 went through phases of jealousy and hating me whenever DC2 hit a milestone. Grabbing for toys, moving, walking etc.

Try getting Readingeggs. Mine liked it at that age. And the "teach your monster to read" app

In other countries, your Reception child wouldn't have started being expected to read, write or do formal maths work yet. They still manage to 'catch up' or match, if not better English education standards (and also learn another language, English) from seven - because the children are older and more ready/able to learn quickly.

Don't worry.

I missed most of reception due to illness and I hadn't been to playgroup or nursery before. I think I started at the February half term, just after my 5th birthday. It was assumed at home that because I wasn't like my older half sister who 'taught herself to read by 3', I was a bit slow.

By Easter, I was reading fluently and by June, I'd been moved onto the top table for everything, along with the September born kids who had been there and attended nurseries. If your DD is summer born, that puts her at roughly the same age as I was.

She'll be fine. Don't worry.

My 13 year old ds did similar at her age. He went into yr 1 unable to read.
I let him have pictur books and make up,the story as he went along. He is top group for all subjects now, has a very wide and mature vocabulary.
Oh and towards the end of year 1, he suddenly started reading again and progressed fast.
Don't worry, she's very young

I understand the issues might be deeper than this but it might be worth trying something called Reading Eggs and Mathseeds (same company makes them). iPad based, fun, not much parental input needed, feels like a game. My kids love it (pre-school and year one). Www.readingeggs.co.uk

My youngest was the same for a long time. He was really stressed at being asked to read as he believed he couldn’t. I tried games etc with the same result (meltdown).
He’s just getting confident now during lockdown and has gone from red reading books (on these for nearly 3 years!) in March to being able to read a page of a chapter book.
He’s summer born too, so 2 years older than your daughter. His teacher said about a quarter of his y2 class were at the same stage as him in March. Your DD may no be as far behind as you think!

When DD would go off reading I would back off but we would still have a set story time with me reading to her. I'd make it positive with a cup of tea (warm milk for Dd) and a few biscuits. Sometimes the book would just be something I read to her, modeling good reading technique, other times it was an easier one and I would let Dd eat her biscuits first while I read then ask her to read while I ate mine. It worked well, there was no pressure and made a positive link with reading, 1:1 time with me and she would actively look forward to this time.