Murderers (fictitious ones) are very helpful what with all the handy clues they leave behind

[Preoilai]

They’re forever leaving buttons, or fibres, or scraps of paper, or footprints from very unusual shoes that have been bought by them, and only them, in the whole country. I’m not a murderer myself (yet), but even I would have a good look round after doing the deed and pick up after myself.

And while I’m here, what is it with law enforcers always insisting on being let into houses:

Law enforcer: Could we come in?
Householder: No.
Law enforcer: I’m sure you’d rather do this inside than out here.
Householder:Oh, right you are then.

And they’re never satisfied once they do get past the front door, they have to sit down as well.

What pet hates do any of you have in crime novels?

And - how is it that protagonists always guess passwords. I need to work on suspending my belief!

Or should that be suspending my disbelief?

They also have bizarre motives that make no sense in real life but apparently are sufficient to fuel a murderous rage

The exposition conference at the end: any murderer with a single brain cell is just going to keep schtum.

I could maybe, just possibly, forgive that one Puppy, having had many instances of straws breaking camels backs. I’m thinking of a regrettable incident involving chicken when my dc were small. It didn’t quite end in murder but they were very lucky that day that their df was home early from work ... :)

Also aren’t detectives amazing? They have all these clues and then just suddenly twig...usually sparked by a random comment somebody has made that makes them go “ Wait a minute....”

But then they don’t immediately say who the murderer is..they just walk off mid sentence and make their partner follow them to find out.

And despite all these obvious clues, the detectives often seem oblivious... Sometimes because they are shagging the murderer or each other.

I like a good crime novel. I like bad ones you can just escape into. And there are others which are just... Terrible.

Oh god yes Disgrace. Why don’t they ever just go ahead and murder whoever it is they have in their sights, instead of being drawn into a ridiculous conversation that always results in the intended victim escaping/being rescued/attacking them. They never learn.

The exposition at the end when the detective explains who did it and why in front of all involved... why do the murderers keep turning up to these things?!

Detectives seem to be uncommonly lucky too. There they are, having no clue whatsoever as to who is the murderer. Then they have a convo with a random member of the public who happens to mention that they find geraniums a very hardy plant. This reminds the detective of something someone has said recently, it’s nagging at him/her, but he/she can’t quite recall what it is. When suddenly - of course - it all falls into place. Just in time.

The evil speech gets in my nerves, but what frustrates me the most is how the criminal is arrested RIGHT BEFORE commiting another crime. Like, knife raised to strike, and then "show me your hands!".

What makes it even more difficult for poor hard done by TV murderers is that they’re not allowed to lie about whether they done it. They can lie about their alibi, but they can’t flat out deny that they did the murder. If anyone looks the detective in the eye and says “I know it looks bad, I know I hated him and stood to inherit three hundred squillion dollars and my alibi doesn’t stack up, but you gotta believe me, I didn’t do it. I swear I didn’t do it!” then you can safely rule them out of contention. If a murderer ever works out that they just have to deny doing it then they’ll be unstoppable.

They do always roll over in the end don't they

Prove it.
Oh I don't need to because you're going to confess not only the how but the why
Am I?
Yes
OK so here's how I did it and why I did it.

All seems a little too wrapped up by the end of the page.

I do realise that there are only a certain number of methods by which the detective can detect, and that we all need a lucky break. And I suppose there’s no novel to be written about a murder that isn’t detected, and a murderer that isn’t caught. And maybe I should try writing my own book before criticising others. But I’m suffering from lockdown grumpiness and all-round boredom, so, for now, I reserve the right to grumble

'Before you arrest me, I'm going to tell you exactly how I did it and why'.

Murderers need to learn to just shut up and sit quietly.