Looking for some help, advice, shared experiences.
Been with my DP for 5 years, no kids yet but plan to, we own a home together etc. For the most part our relationship is good and solid. However there is an issue that is slowly driving me mad and I am at my wits end now as to what to do.
About a year or so ago my DP started playing an online game on his phone. I’m not even sure what it’s called but all I know is it’s one of those where you play with random people on the internet, create alliances, do missions etc etc. Slowly it feels it has totally taken over his life and my proxy, mine.
At first it was ok, I have my own life, we both have busy demanding jobs so we both need our own down time. I don’t mind if we watch TV separately occasionally or if he plays a game while I watch my show etc. I know that ‘gaming’ and men being obsessed with their XBox is quite common but this is getting ridiculous.
Because it’s a mobile game there is no escape. It’s not like he has to leave it when we go out. We will be out shopping, dinner etc and he’ll be there with his phone in his hand. Occasionally he’s left me alone in a cafe for 15+ minutes while he’s had to go outside where there’s better signal. We’ve been out for drinks or dinner with friends and he’s there with his phone under the table playing it or ‘sorting stuff out’ whilst I’m mortified and hoping no one sees.
Even when I have expressed my sadness at us spending less and less quality time together, we sit down to watch a film and he’s on his phone the whole time. I ask him to focus on the film and he says he’s listening, he can do two things at once but he has some stuff he has to sort out.
He has online chats with his game friends as well, who he has never met, and I often see him smirking and laughing about conversations they are having and it reallt feels like he has more fun engaging with them than he does with me.
When I’ve tried to talk to him about it multiple times he just either denies there’s an issue, tells me I’m on my phone a lot too (I think texting friends etc is a bit different tbh!) or says he’ll be better but then he never is.
We have got to the point where we end up pretty much sleeping separately as I’ll go to bed at about 11pm and he stays downstairs ‘finishing things off’ but he ends up falling asleep on the sofa playing this bloody game and I wake up at 4am and realise he’s not in bed, go downstairs and find him asleep on the sofa with his phone in his hand.
This is not normal, I know. It doesn’t affect his life as far as I know, apart from our relationship, as he’s still doing well at work etc but I am not sure how much longer him dozing on the sofa til 4am on a work night will be for his performance.
Please don’t tell me to just leave him, I would like to try and work through it if possible. I wonder if anyone else has been through similar and come out the other side with things having improved? 
I just feel unloved and second best and during lockdown this is even more pronounced as I can’t really do my own thing and leave him to it.