Toilet anxiety

[SunshineSally66]

Does anybody else suffer from this? It's a thing - I've looked into it but it's not as well documented as other forms of anxiety.

It's ruining my life to be honest. Whenever I am im conscious of where the nearest toilet is. If I don't know, or I'm somewhere where there isn't one I immediately panic and that panic actually makes me need to go. If you've ever experienced nervous tummy you'll know what I mean. But it's all the time.

It was getting out of hand before lockdown but now all the public toilets are shut I feel like I can't go anywhere at all. I've avoided trips to the park with friends. I won't go on long walks in the woods or anywhere like that. I need to find a way to get over this because when things return to normal I think it's going to be even more of a problem for me.

Has anyone else experienced this or beaten it?

I have IBS and have the same. I dread having to stay over at peoples houses which obviously I don’t have to do at the moment which helps.
It’s the main reason I’m self employed and work alone because I know I can use the loo without any problems! Terrible isn’t it.
Before I was self employed, my doctor gave me codeine to stop me from ‘going’ if I had a mega long shift. I don’t think that would happen now!

@SunshineSally66 I know, I was exactly the same. I really really needed to go. It is a vicious circle. You have to address the anxiety but the more you try and avoid the situation or lean on safety behaviours then the bigger the anxiety grows

What do you mean by 'nervous tummy'??? You don't mean diarrhoea do you?

Yes, bowel and bladder anxiety issues are common, but often from a cause, such as a bad UTI, childbirth injuries, chronic bowel condition or other initial trigger. GP's have seen this before, so don't be afraid to speak to them, if not don't so already?

Depending on the cause, they might recommend CBT, gynae/bowel physio and/or meds. Best of luck, but DO seek help. Its not only ruining your life, but those around you- friends and family are also suffering from either not being able to see you or not being able to help you. x

I have IBS and I have had a couple of accidents in public so it’s a very real and genuine fear for me. On the hottest of days I still have to wear trousers to go out as they can “disguise” it if the worst happens. I won’t be going anywhere while public toilets are shut. I have also had the odd accident at home too though so mine isn’t just psychological. I’ve had to live with this for years so I understand. To a degree I’ve had to just face my fear or I’d never go anywhere, however yes I do take certain precautions. It is a horrible feeling not having the control.

Things that can help are taking Imodium. I don’t like to do this often but I do for big events. Beta blockers can help with anxiety. I was on them years ago and it did help me when I was at my worst. Again for big events I’ll wear a tena lady pad as it does give some protection, which then makes me less anxious. I try to do without props as much as I can as I don’t want to be reliant on them, but likewise I don’t want to ruin every event with my nerves and want to be able to relax a bit sometimes!

@Elouera yes looser bowels I suppose

I have suffered from mild ibs in the past but I feel like for me this is mostly psychological. If I'm at home all day access to the toilet I won't generally experience any problems. But if I have to go out the anxiety and toilet troubles begin. I don't think it's a physical problem, I think it's a mental problem that brings on a physical response. And I need to conquer my fear and anxiety to see it improve.

It has definitely been worse during lockdown when no public toilets are open. Not that there's anyway to go really anyway.

I always need a wee when I'm out and about! It's a standing joke in my family! When we're at the park/woods I always wee behind bushes/large tree!

I can cope with needing a wee while out but it's poo I can't handle. Because I'm anxious it MAKES me need a poo, urgently.

I really relate OP. My triggers were motorways, shopping centres and walking- I refused to go for local walks for years because of my fears.

I also have OCD which is an unfortunate mix because I hate, hate, hate public toilets but am constantly forced to use them, which triggers my OCD.

For me the biggest restriction it has placed on my life is travelling. I literally won't go anywhere. Last time we went away was to Scotland and I was so terrified of needing to go on the plane but not being allowed to that I had awful diarrhoea in the airport before hand and refused to get on the plane- I had a terrible panic attack - we were lead out by security while my poor son cried while I cried.

Since I had my gallbladder out I seem to suffer with the shits a lot. If I eat a greasy meal or drink a cup of tea, that's it I'm heading for the toilet! It goes through me faster than a Ferrari.

My dd used to do a competitive sport so we were often travelling to all day competitions with overnight stays so I found that when I got up (really early) and headed straight for the English breakfast it gave me time to go to the toilet and take an anti diarrhoea tablets after the first toilet trip but I wouldn't eat all day just in case it set me off. If I did eat anything it was literally a couple of crisps and only because I knew where the toilets were. The tablets seemed to help a lot.

Have any of you with bowel problems tried Silicol gel? It’s changed my life to be honest

This is me! I have IBS and the mental side of it is often far worse than the physical. Even on days when I'm feeling good, I have to know where the nearest toilets are or I worry that I might get a sudden urge and not be able to find a toilet, which of course makes me want to go...sometimes I feel like it actually controls my life. I dread public transport, have the TFL station toilet map downloaded on my phone but sometimes that doesn't help because I know I'm coming to a stretch without toilets which sets me off stressing and cramping again! As soon as I know I'm near a toilet the feeling nearly always passes and I'm fine again.

I've just remembered I've got an app on my phone called Flush that tells you where the nearest toilets are in your location. It also works without an internet connection!

A friend of mine is like this, and at the moment she is pretty much confined to barracks, she literally can't go anywhere because there are no toilets.

Yep. My bladder rules my life!

I would love to go for walks with a friend of mine but most of the routes are not bladder friendly!

Even before lockdown it was hard to find a loo (except for coffee shops but then you feel you must buy a coffee, then it is a vicious circle of loo.coffee,loo. coffee etc etc

Now it is much worse. I used to practically live in Westfield where there are free loos!

I am crying. I thought I was alone in this. I've been like this now for 20 years and its made my life hell.

Like others I have coping mechanisms, I wear tena pants if we're going out for the day, I have a portable toilet in my car along with toilet paper, wipes and a poncho to cover myself on the loo. I carry spare underwear and clothes with me everywhere. If I have to travel I cannot sleep at all the night before with anxiety thinking I might pee or poo myself on the journey. Lockdown has made it worse. My anxiety is now convinced that I was right all along about the outside world and that home is the only safe place.

No advice but I'm so glad I'm no longer alone.

I'm in the club! I'm really worried about the next months when everyday life will be the same as before (or almost the same), busy life but probably still with long lines everywhere and much less toilets available. I've light bladder problem but I know first hand two people with heavier problems and this situation is scary for them.

In addiction to the problem of unavailable toilets there's the big problem of anxiety-incontinence vicious circle, more anxiety = more urgency, more urgency = more anxiety... it's very hard to keep it under control.
Honestly I'm surprised (and really sorry) a lot of you prefer to give up everything and stay at home. I mean, at first I also did it, but it's so wrong, it leads quickly to depression. I prefer to wear a protection that give me some peace of mind and let my life goes on aka don't let a stupid bladder problem rules my life. It's not pleasant, it's not a solution, it's not fashionable, but still better than having no life.
It's plenty of absorbent protections for any situation, you have just to find what is the best for you. In years I went from "too shamefull", "only for baby and elderly", "not for me, never", to it's just a normal thing, nothing to be ashamed of, where's the problem?
There's still the issue about where to change the protections, but it's much less dramatic than having to deal with "I'm gonna to wet myself in few minutes" when there's no toilet in sight. Even if it's only a "just in case" thing, not having so much anxiety is priceless, totally worth it.

Anyway, someone have to squeeze the brain to find a solution, maybe bigger toilets with automatic sanitation, idk but this cannot run like it's now.

It's nice to hear from others in the same boat as I feel very alone with this in my real life.

@BearSoFair

This is me! I have IBS and the mental side of it is often far worse than the physical. Even on days when I'm feeling good, I have to know where the nearest toilets are or I worry that I might get a sudden urge and not be able to find a toilet, which of course makes me want to go...sometimes I feel like it actually controls my life. I dread public transport, have the TFL station toilet map downloaded on my phone but sometimes that doesn't help because I know I'm coming to a stretch without toilets which sets me off stressing and cramping again! As soon as I know I'm near a toilet the feeling nearly always passes and I'm fine again.

This is me- once I'm near a toilet, or on the homeward bound stretch of a journey, I'm ok.

Also part of this 🙋‍♀️I have it really bad pretty much all the time now :(

OP I could have written your posts. Mine is wee though and it's 100% psychological. I'm ok at home or in safe places I know well. But day trips, journeys, theatre shows etc are a nightmare. I get so nervous about toilets being available that I make myself need to go.

Flights and buses are my nightmare....I end up going about 5 times before I get on.

It doesn't help that my partner is the type to go all day without being bothered about the toilet and rolls his eyes at me alway running off to find a toilet.

This current situation has been stressful although we did go on a trip to park about 20 mins away...walked for an hour then drove home. I was so proud of myself.

It makes me anxious just thinking of all the people heading to local seaside towns when all the toilets were closed.

I don't think medication would work as it's definitely in my mind...although I think that now.my bladder is used to going all the time. It's very interesting to read about people's experiences of therapy.

I haven’t read your replies but YES I had this.

It ruined my life.

Had to give up a job I loved at its worst and absolutely struggled to do simple things like pick the kids up from school.

Mine was wee related. I even wore adult nappies!

Thankfully I’m cured-ish. I think I’ll always have a low level of anxiety about it but I can get on with normal life.

For me it was a phase. I can’t tell you anything in particular that helped - but eventually it did pass.

Following. I also have this especially during work meetings. I really need it sorted.

@beachbreeze I am EXACTLY the same! Recently had a baby & due to go back to work soon and have major anxiety. It went away during mat leave as I only have it during work meetings. There is toilets near by it's just that I worry people will start to notice that I'm making excuses to leave during every single meeting. Do you take anything for it like calms? X

I'm currently seeing a women's physio (well, telephone calls during Covid but ykwim). I have a weak pelvic floor but also really bad bladder habits that are mainly psychological. Up until very recently I would panic if somewhere without a toilet, I'd also be fine out and about but then get home and immediately pee myself. It's apparently very common and called latchkey incontinence, it's like you get home and your brain says "phew I'm safe" and just lets go. I'm currently bladder training which essentially is trying to hold on five mins when I want the toilet then gradually extending it to ten minutes, fifteen minutes etc. I've also got to drink more water as purposefully not drinking makes your urine more concentrated and irritates your bladder more. It boils down to the fact that I've got myself into bad habits going so often just in case that my bladder now sends signals to my brain when it isn't even full, so I've slowly got to train myself into better habits. Funnily just knowing it is mainly in my head has actually helped, as has doing my pelvic floor exercises daily. I know this isn't exactly the same as you're experiencing but you're not alone.

No, I never take anything for it. Most meetings are ok in the end. I remember leaving one in a huge panic years ago... so embarrassing. I found it helpful to tell people about it. I described it as feeling claustrophobic when I didn't know the people that well, and explained that I would sit near the door and might pop out for air. I told them cheerfully, casually. It helped