My DH is a dick, why have I never notice before?

[BigBreakfast]

We just had a big row about the Black Lives Matter thing.

He says he supports their cause but the violence etc is abhorrent. I said maybe you're lucky you've never had cause to feel that angry. He doesn't get it, at all.

How would he feel if his child was being perpetually picked on in the playground then eventually fought back? Would he respect that?

People can be really angry without being violent. The two don’t go hand in hand

Yeeeah my ex was like that. Didn't believe in black lives matter, didn't even think racism was a thing anymore. Used to rant at least weekly about it. Wasn't at all attractive.

Just as a perspective - my boyfriend is black so clearly BLM is much closer to his heart than mine but he is anti-violence and doesn't agree with the looting and violence has been occurred in this case.

I struggle a bit listening to my white friends discuss racism because it's only ever from an academic perspective that we understand it. I feel if people want to understand this matter better why not talk to a black person instead of reading a book.

The passion and depth of emotions in this clip is just amazing. A man looting, teens watching/joining in, and a man saying stop, but find another way to change things.
It’ll make the hairs in your neck stand up. We have so much to learn, we just need to keep learning and trying to help and listen and support and educate where we can.
Here.

I feel if people want to understand this matter better why not talk to a black person instead of reading a book.

There are black people on this site refusing to answer questions and saying it's not up to them to educate. So what do we do? Ask black people and get shut down or read books and get told that's not enough?

Also you can be passionate about a subject and believe in it but not want to be violent.

It's not a black person's job to educate you on black history. There's plenty of reading materials, Instagram accounts to follow, news stories, etc to immerse yourself in.

I can’t help thinking that a lot of the violence and looting has nothing to do with BLM but more to do with people who enjoy violence for violence’s sake, regardless of the cause or issue.
It reminds me of of football thugs who would go to a football game not for the football game but for the opportunity for violence.
It’s a tragedy that the violence has to detract from the real issue and the valid anger.

I don’t think anyone agrees with violence and looting do they? What people are saying is don’t allow that to detract from the main message. It’s whataboutery so we can sweep the uncomfortable truth about racism under the carpet.

It's not a black person's job to educate you on black history.

So... Only read books on black history, written by white people? Are we allowed to be educated by black people on black history if they write a book about it or should we stay clear? If black people aren't educating others on black history then who is? Only white peoples accou t of what happened?

*happens, didn't mean to use past tense!!

Lol at his white privilege. Violence is needed to get the world's attention. And force change. You think slavery was abolished because everyone Sang Kumbaya?

@Microwaveoven

You could read books by black authors. There are so many good ones about. I’ve read a lot of black authors this year and it’s obvious that these writers just weren’t getting a chance before.

So... Only read books on black history, written by white people? Are we allowed to be educated by black people on black history if they write a book about it or should we stay clear? If black people aren't educating others on black history then who is? Only white peoples accou t of what happened?

Oh don't be so ridiculous. Asking a black person to educate you on black history is vastly different to a black person choosing to write a book/produce a movie etc and someone then choosing to educate themselves by reading or watching it.

@Bernadette
Certainly not their job but surely that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t try to educate ?
Every opportunity should be taken to educate and share knowledge, job or otherwise.

shamalidacdak
The worlds attention is focused after seeing the disgusting act of kneeling on and killing Floyd George. The violence and looting add nothing to the cause and in my mind take the attention and focus away from the real discrimination, racism and atrocities some face in their lives purely due to their skin colour. Martin Luther King had the right idea of peaceful protest backed up by superb oratory skill both bring the cause the right attention in the media. Violence only provides cover for those who disagree with the cause, i.e. right wing movements.

There's not enough to go in your post to make a call OP.

I'll put my hand up and say I had to be educated by a black woman on this issue on a woman's forum many years ago. (I am a white woman) It was easy for me and facile of me to take an academic angle on it, to rationalise and argue coldly the ins and outs and right and wrongs. There was a lot that I didn't understand and didn't appreciate (how could I, living the life I did, where it was removed from me, where it could never be part of my experience.) I didn't understand the anger, I didn't think it was necessary, I thought everything could just be talked out. I thought each inequality was an individual inequality rather than a culmination of a million inequalities. It took a black woman with some patience for my greeness to explain things further - and no she didn't have to do that - that was time-consuming for her when I'm sure she had better things to do.

There's a time to listen, there will always be a time to listen, and to hear and listen as purely as possible without applying your own filters.

@Microwaveoven

I feel if people want to understand this matter better why not talk to a black person instead of reading a book.

There are black people on this site refusing to answer questions and saying it's not up to them to educate. So what do we do? Ask black people and get shut down or read books and get told that's not enough?

@Microwaveoven- a black person, not “black people”. There weren’t many of them saying it’s not up to them to educate. It was one person’s (valid) viewpoint.

As a mixed race person, I do have to agree that the violence dilutes the message. I don't however feel that the genuine people fighting this cause are the same individuals smashing stuff up and looting. There are opportunistic assholes in every race.

Violence begets violence. In this case, decade upon decade of targeted systemic human rights abuse of black men and women. A woman shot at home whilst sleeping in bed. A man shot for jogging. A psychopath with an arrogant, smug look on his face kneeling on the neck of a black man who begged for his life, cried for his dead mother, wet and soiled himself and endured slow, agonising death by asphyxiation. 8 minutes 46 seconds of wilful violence unto death. Nothings' changed since Emmett Till, Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland, so many more. & We have to watch the perpetrators get away with execution of black people on the spot. No due process of law, no trial, no jury. Lights out.

Peaceful protest & years of marching on & on changed nothing. All people did was make noises about how 'dignified' 🙄 protests were. Then comfortably went right back to not seeing, not listening, not caring about the violence and looting of black bodies. We know there's always more anguish over 'things/stuff' than there is about black people. Psycho cop's actions aren't described as violent; only the reaction against modern day lynching is. So, rioting was inevitable eventually.

The pretence that racism education is needed, has to stop. Humanity towards your fellow man & woman no matter their race and colour. We are all human beings. Short n sweet, that's it.

The CEO of Target 'gets it'. It's a choice isn't it? Statement here.
corporate.target.com/article/2020/05/supporting-communities-minnesota-beyond