Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Access for grandparents

15 replies

Oohoohfixitfelixoohooh · 04/06/2020 10:01

Hi all

We have a hearing coming up to have something sorted with regards to access.

Ex partner has requested every other weekend and one day a week for our 9 month old DD, which is great and is pretty much what I have asked for but from the age of 2 instead of straight away.

Ex has said in his position statement that his mum is to have DD on what would be 'my Saturday' once EOWs begin.

Obviously, I'm not overly pleased with the idea of losing a day and think that DD should really be seeing her paternal grandparents during her dad's time but wanted to ask if the court would be likely to enforce this?

I'm aware grandparents are able to apply to the court for access and rightly so, but I feel as if using what is to be 'my time' is a little unfair.

Would his mother be able to take me to court for access during my weekend if not approved during our hearings?

TIA xx

OP posts:
LastRoloIsMine · 04/06/2020 10:03

Grandparents struggle to get access rights through the courts and usually needed to have featured heavily in the childs life for a substantial period of time.

Your ex in BU. He wants his parents to see the child then it happens on his time not yours. Simple answer to him in no and stick to it.

Spied · 04/06/2020 10:09

I very much doubt it would be worth her pursuing this.
You are not saying the grandmother cannot see your DC, you are right in saying it must be on her son's time.
What if you said your dm was to see your DD on his Sunday for example?
It's ridiculous.
I'd just say no and forget about it.

Spied · 04/06/2020 10:10

It won't go to court.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Behaviour & development Family law Relationship problems
Teaandbiscuitsallday · 04/06/2020 10:41

Grandparents have no rights. It has to be in the best interest of the child , not the grandparents. It's costly , I can't see legal aid being provided for the grandparents. The grandparents have to prove they have an active role in the child's life. Grandparents demanding rights, terms or access is ridiculous. Don't worry. If grandparents want to see the child they will have to do it when dad sees them. Simple. End of. I've been there with a entitled selfish mil . She still doesn't see my kids five years on. She's poisonous and I'm not having it. Grin

Original poster
Oohoohfixitfelixoohooh · 04/06/2020 10:50

Thanks everyone, I know he's being ridiculous but wanted to ask as the whole court thing has turned me into a nervous wreck.

He's also asked that his mum is to take over from my mum covering childcare one day a week. I usually start work at 6.45am and have to leave for the bus at around 5.30 so my mum has always come round in time for me leaving to save waking DD as she doesn't usually get up until 8/8.30 (she still wakes twice during the night so it's not the blessing it sounds lol). I'd be happy for his mum to collect her but it would mean her picking DD up before I leave, which will also mean me waking her stupidly early.

Would the court agree to this?

From what I've read, they are all for causing as little disruption to the child as possible but ex seems to always be heard as hes usually the one to shout the loudest.

OP posts:
Original poster
Oohoohfixitfelixoohooh · 04/06/2020 11:03

She sounds very similar to my DDs grandmother! The whole family are poisonous, we refer to them as the poison dwarves outside of court 😂

OP posts:
Minai · 04/06/2020 11:20

He’s being a cheeky fucker. His mum can see your dd on his time not yours.

Original poster
Oohoohfixitfelixoohooh · 04/06/2020 11:29

He's definitely a cheeky fucker - he tried to take DD from the hospital for his two weeks of paternity leave and couldn't understand why I had an issue with not seeing her for the first two weeks of her life 😂

OP posts:
CocoR · 04/06/2020 11:37

He is insane. And actually sounds quite scary.

CoveredInBeeeees · 04/06/2020 11:38

Ooh whaaaaaat the actual fuck?!

timetest · 04/06/2020 11:39

I’d just ignore his ridiculous request. A court would not entertain it.

Pebblexox · 04/06/2020 11:44

Don't entertain it. If they want to take you to court, let them. Legally, grandparents have no right to their grandchild.
A case can be made if it can be proven that they have played a substantial role in the upbringing of the child and that by limiting contact it could have detrimental affects to their wellbeing. However that doesn't seem the case here, so they wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Original poster
Oohoohfixitfelixoohooh · 04/06/2020 11:46

He's nuts. From his statement to the court all he has applied for his access for his mum and for them to cancel CMA payments. He's even stated in the same sentence he's asked for EOW's that he expects to be able to leave her with a suitable baby sitter when he has 'prior social engagements'. Surely you would make plans for the weekend she's at home 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
Noshowlomo · 04/06/2020 11:59

WOAH! What a CF he is, and sounds like he gets it from his mother. Grandparents will have to see her in his time.

notthemum · 04/06/2020 12:25

My love, he is an Idiot.
As pp have said grandparents have no rights. There is no reason for your mum to stop looking after your baby.
Generally at your baby's age the court will not expect her to be away from you overnight. Usually it is a day at the weekend and possibly one or two evengs in the week visiting tea time or maybe to put her to bed.
They will not at any point say that he can get a babysitter if he has a social engagement. He can arrange his social life around her. (CF).
If he eventually does end with her eow if his mum wants to see her then she can see her on his weekends. Don't let them bully you. He is talking complete shit. 💐

New posts on this thread. Refresh page