What is appropriate child maintenance/split childcare.

[Talksense]

My brother is good-heart, wears his heart on his sleeve, always sees the good in people and incredibly naive kind of bloke.

He was left heart-broken after his partner of 10+ years left him last summer who never wanted more children (children from previous relationships and he’s still an amazing step dad).

At Xmas he met someone else ‘and fell head of heels in love’ and started trying for a baby (I know, we all warned him). She said she was pregnant/took a pregnancy test together/had celebrations, he put down a deposit on a house for them both and bought furniture etc. He then received a few tip offs that she had a secret FB page as was seeing someone else at the same time she she admitted after some prodding.

There’s still a possibility that he could be the father but he’s devastated. He’s devastated that she was unfaithful but this much wanted baby on his side might not be his. Understandably he wants nothing to do with her but if the baby is his he wants to do right by it.

At what point can he apply for 50/50 custody? He obviously doesn’t want it straight away incase she decides to BF/bonding. Is there anyway he can have contact without her being there/what is the usual new born contact time?

Is there a way he can control his maintenance payments? He wants to pay more than he has to as he doesn’t want the child in poverty but doesn’t want her living the life of luxury at his expense- he’s thinking half rent/bills/ordering all the needed baby essentials I.e nursery equipment/toiletries/food/clothes and her benefits cover the rest (she’s made it clear as soon as she fell pregnant that she would be SAHP).

It’s such a mess but he’s currently a mess too - I’m doing some research on his behalf as he’s convinced if it is his she’s going to do a runner as it’s obvious she’s only seen him as a potential sperm donor/income. What’s the process incase she registers the baby without him and then he’s got no parental rights? We’re certain she’s not going to do that as she’ll want his money but she’ll also know he’ll never let the baby go without.

I think the first thing your brother needs to do is get her to do a DNA test for the baby. She can get a prenatal dna test (link to the website that the government recommends as the results will be valid in court), or wait until the baby is here and get one done then.
I would also contact the Child Maintenance service helpline, to see what their advice is (Telephone: 0800 083 4375, Monday to Friday, 8am to 8pm). (I haven't had legal training, so these are the steps that I personally would follow.)

all the best x

No he can't control the csa maintenance payment, however anything that he chooses to buy/pay for above that is up to him.
If he is the father he will only be allowed short visits usually in the child's home with the mum in the house though not necessarily in the same room at first and then as the child gets older he can progress to time alone out of the home and overnight access too. As for 50/50 I don't know how or when that would/could happen as he never lived with the child (I'm sure someone who does will be along soon).
I would say that he should not be paying any of her bills the maintenance he pays is for 1/2 his child share of those costs but offering to buy nursery equipment and to pay 1/2 of any child care, uniform, school trips/equipment, shoes, haircuts ect would be reasonable.
Also if she is not independently wealthy and able to self fund being a sahp her rent will be paid by UC