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Would you let your 8yo buy this?

57 replies

FlopsyDoodle · 02/06/2020 19:19

My son had his 8th birthday last month and due to Coronavirus his grandparents couldn’t visit him for his birthday. They’ve been shielding and as they’re not happy to buy stuff online they posted him £50 and told him that he could spend it on whatever makes him happy.

I let him have an hours screen time each day where he can watch YouTube videos, play his switch or play one of his games that he’s downloaded on the iPad. Despite having lots of (what I would consider) decent games he constantly goes back to this free game that I downloaded for him ages ago about this Hungry Shark. It seems pretty basic - you have a shark and it swims through the sea and you see how many points you can get by eating stuff. It’s got in app purchases but I’ve disabled them obviously but he’s been saying for weeks now that he wants to spend his birthday money on a new shark for the game. This new shark, which doesn’t seem to have any additional features, just looks a lot cooler is £48. £48! For a bloody shark on a crappy game.

But - it’s his money, right? It just seems so much money for him to piss away. He keeps getting in such a tizz about it. It’s a limited time offer and he’s convinced it’s going to go away. I asked him to ask his grandparents at the weekend if they were happy for him to buy it. They are, but they are of the impression that he’s using it to buy a whole new computer game, not a little animation wit hi n a game that he already has.

At the moment I’m at the ‘I need to have a think about it’ stage. Wwyd?

OP posts:
Moonshinemisses · 02/06/2020 20:49

Its his birthaday money & he should spend it on what he wants. That's what birthday money is for, buying something frivolous

Kpo58 · 02/06/2020 20:50

I wouldn't let him either. Fine if it was £10 as a one off birthday treat, but not nearly£50!

If he's really desperate for it, I'd let him out £10 from his birthday money towards it and then have to save up the rest for it. Hopefully he'll decide by then that something else is better to spend that money on.

TreacherousPissFlap · 02/06/2020 20:54

Ooh, difficult.
I would in principle have allowed DS to do it (and he is an only DGC so frequently gifted money) but with the chats mentioned up thread.
However that is a huge amount of money for an admittedly cool looking shark.

Rockbird · 02/06/2020 20:54

Even less chance now that I've seen it. These people really take us for mugs. £48 for that!

flowerycurtain · 02/06/2020 20:57

Dear god no.

Only when he's old enough to understand how long you have to work for to earn £48 would my son be allowed to buy that. And I'd make him do the work.

negomi90 · 02/06/2020 21:06

I'd lean yes, but I'd consider asking grandparents their views (as it was their money).
He really wants to buy x (explain how rubbish it is and what it is), I'm worried that you'll think its silly, or wanted the money to buy xyz sort of thing. If you're happy for him to do it, then I'll let him. If you would rather he didn't I'll try to divert him.
(And then say to him that Grandparents want the money spent on something they can see him use and play with (and understand). But if they say its fine, then its fine.

FlopsyDoodle · 02/06/2020 21:07

Right, I’ve decided that I’m definitely going to tell him no. I know that if his grandparents knew what it actually was that he’s spending his money on they wouldn’t want him to. They’re pretty technology averse though so from their point of view he’s buying a new computer game which they know cost around that amount.

Hopefully some other shark will appear that isn’t £48. I don’t mind him spending a fiver or so because I know he will regret it when he realises it genuinely doesn’t do anything else. £48 is nearly a weeks shopping though!

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 02/06/2020 21:09

No.
I've occasionally bought myself pokécoins in Pokemon Go, earlier game, but had a modest budget and it related well to hours of game play spent. I was very concious that it can be a slippery slope.

I've been straight up with my DCs from the start of no in-game purchases. I may well have to modify that policy in the future, but £48 on a shark skin, no way! At the monent it's just easier to have a blanket "no", and it's my bank card it would hit anyway.

That's from the woman who's spent £££ on pesky pokemon cards already this year across birthdays and rewards. Grossly over priced, but the DCs are genuinely in to them and there is something to show for it (and they hurt my feet less than wading through knee deep Lego Grin )

Purpleartichoke · 02/06/2020 21:24

I veto those. Dd did not appreciate our stance at 8. Dd is now 11 and she now understands evaluating the value of an in-game purchase. Sims expansion packs, she finds worth her money and with how much she plays, I agree. A different color top on a game avatar, not worth actual money.

When they are young I think it’s our job to guide them away from the truly bad purchases, but allow them to make some small mistakes. That shark is not a small mistake.

NeedAUsernameGenerator · 02/06/2020 21:30

Definitely not. I allow Minecoins for £5-10 or Sims expansion packs but that shark is not good value for money.

Healthyandhappy · 02/06/2020 21:35

Download roblox

camsie · 02/06/2020 21:39

No, far too much money.

NatashaAlianovaRomanova · 02/06/2020 21:39

That's a definite no & I'm fairly lax with buying shite add on packs for fortnight/minecraft/whatever the latest thing is for DS - he probably gets around £10 every couple of months.

But £48 for that ugly looking thing - obviously it'll swim faster & have a bigger/stronger bite range than the bog standard shark but not 48 quids worth!

My rule with grandparents money is you need to be able to tell them about what you spent the money on when you speak to them so it should be an experience (day out) or have something tangible to show them (clothes, game, books etc).

merrytombombadil · 02/06/2020 21:47

When I had this issue with my 8 year old I sat him down and explained that I thought the thing he wanted was a waste of money and that if I let him buy it he would end up sad and would never be able to get the money back. I then gave him the option of having loads of sweets and chocolates and pocket money toys and showed him how much he could get instead (the food is because it's easy to get a huge pile for not much money). But ultimately I told him it was his choice as I thought he needed to learn the "what you could have won" lesson. Thankfully he chose the pile of swag.

borntohula · 02/06/2020 21:47

That is an insane amount of money for a fake shark, do people actually buy them!? I'd feel mean saying no because it's his birthday money and he really wants it but nearly 50 quid could get him something miles better.

Fanciedachange1 · 02/06/2020 21:51

It’s so easy and so hard at the same time!

It looks like you have made your decision (tbh i would have said no to the shark too) but do you have a plan for the future?

I agree with the principle of birthday money being spent how the receiver likes, but this is different due to the age of the child. Maybe in future if he receives large sums of money he could have £5-£10 to spend and the rest is hidden away without him knowing?

I couldn’t think of anything better than getting to say 13 or 14 and then getting a lump sum to spend on something worthwhile! Admittedly you may not agree with the purchase but something like a phone, games console, headset etc would be better than several years worth of virtual gifts that have no real value once the novelty has worn off.

NuffSaidSam · 02/06/2020 21:52

I would say no.

I think a lesson in buyer's remorse is a good idea, but not for £50! I just couldn't do it.

And limiting game time to an hour a day is completely reasonable btw.

If it's any consolation my DC was also obsessed with this game and could speak of nothing else for weeks. Was also obsessed with getting Megladon though through watching ads not attempting to buy it thankfully. He got over it like they do and moved on to some other game. And then another one. And so on.

amusedbush · 02/06/2020 21:53

Crikey, £48 is more than I pay monthly for an iPhone 11 Shock

That’s bloody extortionate for a game add-on!

BeingKindIsFree · 02/06/2020 21:54

Not a chance. I let DS buy vbucks sometimes, £20 at most with his own money. But no way would I let him waste nearly £50 on a sodding virtual shark!!

saraclara · 02/06/2020 22:00

I wouldn’t do it as I’d feel so incredibly guilty that the givers had just had their money completely wasted

Yes. I know that in theory, gifts of money shouldn't come with strings attached. But even so. I'm a grandparent and I'd feel pretty sad about it if I gave such a generous amount of money, and it was wasted in this way.

BertieBotts · 02/06/2020 22:12

Absolutely not. Those free to play games really pile on all the tricks to get you to part with your money and kids are even more susceptible to it, so you have to step in and put limits in place IME. £48 for a skin is ridiculous especially for a mobile game. It's not as though you're getting a whole new game, where, perhaps, it might be worth spending £48 (even that is a lot of money I think). To charge that much for something that adds no content at all is akin to a scam.

FWIW - it will be on a model where the virtual coins/currency you get in the game can either be "earned" by lots of boring grinding away at the game or you can put in real money to advance quicker. They won't really expect anyone to buy that shark but most players who add money will use the money they put in to advance in the game in other ways. The different priced items in the shop are just there to tempt you. It's unfair on younger kids who have this expectation that life should be fair and goals should be reachable, but the top items in the shop aren't meant to be reachable, they're just like a golden holographic carrot dangling on a stick to get you to play more (and watch more ads)/buy the currency to spend on the lesser items.

He's probably wanting to buy it just because it costs the same amount as what he has, and he doesn't really understand the value of the money - DS1 is very much like this as well. He was all set to go and spend €12 on a bloody skin for Fortnite to send to his friend the other day, because his friend made a jokey/hopeful comment that everyone else should buy him skins. He doesn't really have anything else to spend his money on so it doesn't feel like a loss/waste to spend it on something like that. As far as they are concerned, they want it, they have the money = job done. Anyway, it prompted a discussion about virtual items and we agreed a maximum cap for the spending on virtual stuff. A downloadable version of a game that would have 10 years ago been a disc is separate from that, and so is paid DLC like extra levels for example, but content for a game that doesn't really add anything, like skins and dances and shark upgrades are subject to the cap and can only be bought from that "pot".

I also agree with comparing and contrasting with other things they can get. DS1 wouldn't be motivated by a toy catalogue because he's not really interested in toys and hasn't been since he was about 5 or 6, but he is interested in sweets/junk food, he's starting to get into expensive trainers/clothing brands too (he's 11 so a bit older than yours) so I'm dangling a pair of Adidas trainers or a hoodie in his eyeline as well. And of course what he really wants is a super duper computer or console - although this feels really out of reach, we have pointed out to him that if he really has nothing to spend money on, save it up and eventually he'll be able to afford his own big TV or console or computer parts or whatever. Trying to do a small kind of interest-on-savings experiment with him to help with this too.

But in short, no, don't feel bad - if it helps, imagine that your son is interested in Pokemon cards, and the 12 year old boy who lives next door has offered to sell him a "super rare, super powerful" card for £48. It's not a card which sells to collectors, it's a common one which is worth about 50p resale. You know it's a scam, the 12yo next door knows it's a scam, your DS naively thinks it's a great deal. This is the same, it's just you can't point to an ebay listing for this shark showing that it's worthless IRL.

RippleEffects · 02/06/2020 22:13

At 8 its a a great time to start on earning money tasks to get a better grasp of how much harder it is to earn than spend.

£1 for cleaning the car, 50p vacuum the house top to bottom etc. £48 would be doing that everyday for several months.

So much stuff the DC want is virtual I guess these things change with every generation. Mine have a £5/month online virtual purchase limit. They get £5/ week pocket money and it comes from that. My youngest is 9.

FlopsyDoodle · 02/06/2020 23:15

nuffsaids that’s exactly what my ds is doing with the ads! You earn something like 1 or 2 gems for watching a 30 second advert and he’s spending all the time doing that, desperately trying to get to the 10,000 or whatever gems he needs for this bloody shark! It’s always the weirdest adverts too - not inappropriate or rude, just for stuff like prams or fitted blinds. I don’t know that many 8yo’s that are into fitted blinds.

OP posts:
FlopsyDoodle · 02/06/2020 23:18

saraclara absolutely I’d feel awful for his grandparents too. I tried to get him to explain to them what it was on the phone at the weekend as I knew they’d say no but they misunderstood and thought he was buying a whole new computer game so they said it sounded like a great thing to spend it on. I tried to explain more clearly but they just didn’t seem to grasp what it meant.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 03/06/2020 00:08

What about just banning the game? I have started to be a lot more selective about the games I agree to DS having on his phone in the first place, because a lot of them are (IMO) predatory. And he keeps going on about this "Oh it's a limited time offer! I might never be able to get this skin/dance/whatever EVER AGAIN!!" God, DH actually works in this area, and we've tried to explain the psychological tricks they use to him to no avail, he is a clever kid but he just gets immediately sucked back in with that sense of scarcity - I have simply concluded that he's just not mature enough to be able to deal with it and therefore it's not fair to let him keep seeing all of these tempting ads all the time or have any idea that he has money to spend on things like this at all. Well, except it's too late for that (gah!) oh well.

Oh and just so you know - if he did decide to get the £48 fish - you'd probably find that in fact you can't top up in exact increments of £1 or even £5 or £10, but that you'd have to top up in increments of £15 or something, meaning the £48 fish would turn into a £60 fish. Because that is another trick they use in these games, they fiddle with the pricing so that it works like this as well.

Children are not allowed into casinos etc because it's the same sort of thing - that enticement to spend money that you don't get anything in return for (OK, entertainment, but unlike say a theatre ticket the whole experience is designed around getting you to want to spend more more more). So I do actually think sometimes they just need an adult to step in and say no way. I would explain to GPs separately.

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