On the basis that I don't want my children to see me cry, can I come and have a bit of a home learning weep?

[BlueBrush]

DSs are 7 and 5. DH and I are working from home, and busier than ever due to Covid. (Lucky to have jobs, but it's stressful.) Monday morning and I've already failed to achieve my minimal goal of doing a small amount of maths with DSs before I start work. They're getting harder and harder to engage. Torturing myself with looking at all the stuff the other kids have got posted on school website.

Don't get me wrong, school is being great, my employer is being great, DH is a rock. The kids are basically happy enough, and mostly being very sweet, even if they are running completely wild now. On the one hand, I accept that it's just a rubbish situation for everyone. But on the other, I just keep beating myself over the head with the Parent Guilt stick.

There...DH has just given me a cuddle, and I'm going to fix a smile on my face now, and plunge into a crappy busy day at work, and try and persuade myself that I'm not ruining my children's chance of future health and happiness! Anyone else fancy a discreet sniffle behind their monitor with me?!

I am sorry you are feeling like this. I am going through similar with my dd.

I honestly can't take any more of the home learning stuff.

I'm a sahm so it's not a time issue. My DC, who were initially quite keen and willing to do school work, are now pretty much refusing to do anything.

I honestly don't know what to do.

I'm so fed up of it too. My youngest has skipped to school today and my eldest, 8 is currently running away refusing to do work. I am pulling my hair out. He already struggles academically and I don't understand why he won't just sit down with me to go through it. I'm making ever activity as easy for him as possible, spending hours prepping all the school stuff and to be honest I feel miserable. I work part time so those days nothing gets done

Don’t worry about it. We’ve been running a very strict timetable but my DC spent all day Friday on screens 🤷‍♀️ Everyone has good and not-so-good days and working FT and homeschooling children and keeping them fed, watered, vaguely clean and living in a hygienic home is impossible. Different bits will slide at different times and there’s no point beating yourself up about it. If they’re happy, leave them to it.

You are doing great! The fact that you give a toss in the first place shows how hard you are trying. Mum + teacher + worker ...that's a lot to be at once!

You can't replicate their classroom or teacher you are doing your best so stop being so hard on yourself. The school will make up for lost time once all kids return.

Continue with your aim of a small chunk of a subject each day and remember they will be learning through playing and other little tasks they do throughout the day.

Keep going!

my eldest, 8 is currently running away refusing to do work. I am pulling my hair out. He already struggles academically and I don't understand why he won't just sit down with me to go through it

Same...my dd is 9...I had to beg her to do a few sums this morning. She's already behind at school. I'm happy to sit with her the entire time. I've said let's do one of the fun activities the school has set but she's refusing that too.

Ahh OP it may not feel like it but you're doing a great job. It's similar here except DD is in Y7 and although her workload is very full on I'm a SAHM and pulling my hair out. Honestly I take my hat off to you that your not on the yet

What we're finding hard is getting tasks completed in the time set. She struggles to focus so by the time she's read the task and worked out what to do that's half an hour gone.
So we find she's doing 5ish hours a day and just knackered. Then she's bombarded with emails of fun, extra curricular stuff everyone else gets time to do . Its demotivating to say the least.

There is nothing wrong in letting your children see you cry. They need to see parents get upset sometimes, it’s a lesson in life they need to learn. Give yourself a hug.

I feel you. I have three primary aged kids (two have complex Sen) and I’m working part time. Dh is working FT and has made zero adjustments to work so goes and shuts himself in the office to work all day. My year 6 is left to himself and is working but I’m having to do work with my younger two with Sen and it’s very hard as everything takes so much longer. I’m having to fit in work where I can.

I’d say step away from social media. It’s never representative of what is actually happening.

Don't look at the pictures others are posting! I find these are very unhelpful for parents who are struggling. Whenever home learning is getting too much, we have an early lunch break or have gone for a walking meeting. These have sometimes happened at 9am 🤣 i want my ds coming out of this feeling calm, having a love of learning and learning some life skills of how to deal with work and life when it's feeling a bit too much

You are both working full time, the fact that your children are happy is enough.
My friend has a brilliant approach to some quick lessons in the morning.
She has chalked some numbers and letters on her back wall, she then tells her children a sum or a word they have to spell- they shoot the water gun/need gun/throw a sponge at the correct letters/numbers.
It gets them in the garden for a 15/20 slot before work, they have a bit of fun and do some learning as well.
Then inside for quiet reading/watching nature documentaries/gaming/drawing etc...

I'm so stressed with it all. Would help if I understood what a powerpoint was and set up office,which keeps popping up on the online homework.Year7 ds has no idea too.
So, we are just doing what we can.Which means an hour on hegarty maths every day and instead of a powerpoint thing on the roundheads and cavaliers,he is just writing it on paper.Then I take a pic and send it to teacher.But most days just maths. Then all pm on ps4 and a dog walk around the block if I can make him.

Teachers have been in touch saying lots of people are struggling and some have done hardly anything which has calmed me down.

Thank you so much everyone! I know that there are lots of people in the same boat (or similar and equally-difficult boats!) but it's really reassuring to be told anyway, and for your helpful thoughts and suggestions. It's 11.30, I'm going to make a coffee, and here's a slice of cake for each of you lovely people...

I'm a SAHM and ex-teacher and it's still shit!

DS1 (9) has ASD, dyslexia and dysraxia which impact on just about every aspect of learning. He's very bright and retains masses of information but struggles with any form of literacy.

Then there's DS2 (7) with the attention span of a gnat. This is a child who can have a full scale intergalactic dogfight battle with a pair of crisps. The sound effects are amazing. But I don't stand a chance of formal learning when anything can distract.

They need school. They need peers to role model for them. They need an undistracting learning environment. They need a "teacher" not mummy pointing out that she is a teacher too, they need a real, proper teacher, the type in a school.

Mine certainly are not pulling ahead and the only career trajectory they are making progress on is being youtuber/ gamer types.

But I'm making a token effort most days and that keeps them off the bottom of the pile. I know which families will manage far less.

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, OP.

If it’s any consolation I’m currently furloughed and ds (13) is being a complete pain this morning! He doesn’t want to work!

It’s hard!

I think his motivation has slowly been chipped away. He needs to be back in the classroom with his peers and teachers.

Thanks @BogRollBOGOF. Every single sentence of your post made utter sense to me. The bit about intergalactic dogfights? Yep, that rings very true!