Trying to gauge opinion, and get advice on what to do next. Basically, ex has seen the children (DD 7, DS 10) for 1 hour in the last 10 weeks. I have done absolutely all of everything for the children. He has given them a phone so they can facetime him, and he usually answers and has a brief chat before bed.
He has not once asked to see the kids at a social distance. He has not once checked if he can come into the garden again (he did this for an hour on DDs birthday). He has not brought anything to help me entertain the children in lockdown, nothing. He has basically washed his hands of the situation because I'm dealing with it. He has told DS it is like this because he works nights (he works 4 nights a week in a supermarket) and therefore there is nothing he can do about it. I feel like not seeing them for 9/10 weeks is totally unacceptable, I feel like not seeking out ANY opportunity to see them is a bloody disgrace. He basically facetimes for 5 mins or so most days and that is that. They can't go to his house because he lives with his very old mother, who is in dodgy health.
I am starting to feel incredibly resentful of the situation which leaves me with this problem. I'm going to have to actually ask him to make time to visit the children and start building this relationship again. The only reason I will be doing this is so I can have a break, go for a walk/run without a chils, but why should I?? There is a very stubborn and selfish part of me who wants the kids to see he isn't doing anything, that I am the parent they can rely on. His job prevented him from seeing the children before lockdown, he appears not to have done anything to change the job or hours to improve this in any way, and he has made zero effort to see them at all since lockdown started. What would you do?? Swallow your pride and actually ask him to stand up for his children, or keep going as I am and see if at any point he thinks more about them than shelf stacking.
Sorry it is long, trying not to drip feed, will attempt to answer Qs.