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Late pregnancy / newborn contact with family

7 replies

JaneJohn · 30/05/2020 16:08

This fits in both the pregnancy and parenting boards so I'm posting it here for general consensus.

Baby due early July. I'm asthmatic, serious enough to take steroid inhaler but not severe. I've been following lockdown guidelines and have chosen not to go into any shops - only a daily walk in the fresh air. My husband has done the same. We have both been working from home. We have not seen any family or friends apart from on Zoom.

I'm worried about upcoming contact with family. Some of our family members haven't followed the guidance really strictly but no-one has had any symptoms. I know that MIL is very keen to meet as soon as possible, both now, and of course when baby is here. My husband feels that we will need to form our own judgement of risk when the time comes. He mentioned that it might be difficult for MIL and family to keep social distance of 2m and not let them cuddle the baby. I'm feeling more nervous and more conscious of listening to the scientific advisors. Husband feels there may be merit in following the general consensus among friends and NCT group members - eg if they all start meeting people then we might do too. I'm not too comfortable with that approach and feel scared at times- but don't know if I'm being irrational? Husband has listened to my feelings and is very supportive ie not pressuring me in any way - and this discussion is of course all academic at present. However we do seem to view this slightly differently, as do various expectant parents we've spoken to. We have agreed to keep communicating how we each feel and see where the land lies by July.

We don't know what things will be like early July when baby is due, but if you have recently had your baby, or if you're due soon or in July, what are you anticipating you will do / how do you plan to manage visiting relatives etc? (We are in England btw).

OP posts:
LividLaughLovely · 30/05/2020 16:11

Ten week old baby.

Not touched anybody. It’s HARD. Not sure how we’ll come out of this but it’s hurting me so much to not let him be cuddled.

Waited a long long time for this baby and now he will never have been cuddled as a newborn by my mum etc.

OhTheseSummerNiiiiights · 30/05/2020 16:14

I really feel for any new parent just now. Such a hard decision.

ChasingTheSunshineAlways · 30/05/2020 16:17

I'm in the US and the paediatrician here said no contact without anyone outside of the household until the baby is 12 weeks. But our families are far away and no one here will want to hold our baby so I'm "lucky" in that sense. I imagine if you see your families at 2m distance it will be hard not to let them have a cuddle

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SpecialKakapo · 30/05/2020 16:25

I'm 31 weeks and have recently seen family for the first time since lockdown - in the park, kept 2m away. I don't think you're being silly and I'd they can't keep their distance then you're right not to see them.

One idea (feel free to dismiss) - can you meet with them (outside) before the baby arrives and see how they act/whether they keep their distance? If they have trouble keeping their distance now then you'll know not to meet with them once the baby is here as they will undoubtedly be worse!

Personally, if the situation remains the same I'll be seeing my parents at a distance once the baby is here (unless things change of course).

MsChatterbox · 30/05/2020 16:55

My midwife said no cuddles till at least 8 weeks and even then only with people that have been properly social distancing.

JaneJohn · 30/05/2020 18:41

That's interesting advice from the midwife. I haven't asked mine about this yet.

OP posts:
Billyjoearmstrong · 30/05/2020 18:59

I’m not due until the end of August but I don’t intend on seeing anyone until November/December at least. And possible not then if there is a bad cold/flu/2nd winter wave of covid.

I don’t tend to see anyone when I’m pregnant anyway though and I don’t let anyone but Dh and my older children (And obviously HCP) near my babies for 6+ weeks anyway so it’s not much change.

I’m quite cold with family though so it’s no hardship to me and to be honest, they have to just lump it. (I know I sound like a massive cow).

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