I had an abortion and I really regret it.

[Lonelylockdown22]

I had an abortion 4 years ago and I've always regretted it. I always think about the baby, how old he or she would be now. I just can't get over it.

Have you had any counselling?

No, not really. I just really wish I had gone through with the pregnancy.

I hope you can get counselling and help.

I have had v dark times, but it did get better over time.

. Where you not counseled before hand..
I also despise the way soaps portray abortions. They just make a quick decision go in have the procedure and that's that. No grieving or second guessing their decision, infact. There's never any mention of it again. Real life ain't like that. I can't imagine how traumatic it must be afterwards. Not only mentally but physically.

Aaaw I feel bad for you. It’s always such a difficult decision for any woman to make. You did what was right for you, in those circumstances at that time xx

Actually awwlook it ISN’T traumatic for everyone, speaking from personal experience. Obviously if someone finds it traumatic that’s completely valid, but to say that when soaps portray abortions like that (and I’m not sure they even do this very much) its not the reality - well, for some people it is the reality.

OP I agree counselling would be helpful for you to explore your feelings in a safe place and try to come to terms with your decision. I assume it was one you made because it felt right at the time? If you were coerced into it then I’m very sorry and whatever the circumstances, there’s no right or wrong way to feel

You’ll never forget that child. Just think of it as one that wasn’t meant to be. I remember all my children: the abortion, the miscarriage and the one I have now. Counselling may help you. In the end, we make gazillions of decisions in our lives and its only natural to regret some of them later.

I'm so sorry. Your feelings are very common but not really talked about. You made the decision that you thought was for the best at that time. You need to be kind to yourself and stop regretting it. I'm sorry that that advice is far easier said than done, but it is true xxx

Hi I’m in the exact same situation now. You make a decision in such panic, hormonal and feel under pressure time wise. I really am shocked by the minimal counselling I didn’t even have a dating scan because of the pandemic. I made a decision with my head thinking that it was logical but my heart did not connect until it was too late. I also didn’t search out all the negative experiences until it was too late. I also confided in people that had chosen termination themselves(although I wouldn’t of known that about them) so it was as if everything at that time aligned with my decision to do the unthinkable simply because it was inconvenient. If people are happy with their choice that’s great but there are so many that don’t and end up deeply affected by it. Then they require months or years of counselling after. Surely all of that should come before to make an informed choice. Not to deter women or force them but not to ignore the potential impact after as this seems to be ignored. Men have much more in-depth consultation about a vasectomy and that can in some cases be reversed where as a termination cannot. I am angry that it is so easy to obtain because I definitely think having another baby would be less of an impact on me than the misery a termination has brought. Also because it’s not something openly discussed often women don’t know if someone is going through the same pain/experience so there are no support groups where women dealing with similar issues come together and have any sort of connection apart from online forums. It really is quite sad because whichever choice you make it has a massive effect on your life. Most people say it’s not a decision taken lightly but often women at their most vulnerable need much more support from an impartial source because friends and family often “support” the idea of not going through with an unplanned If there’s shock and doubts or confusion with the pregnancy because they think it’s the best choice. I wish someone had said to me you will be fine you’ve done it before ignore all the anxieties and short term hurdles but unfortunately that did not happen.
If anyone is more than satisfied with their choice I’m not looking to offend them or suggest they should feel differently it’s just such a big thing that it isn’t always the answer for everyone.