DM too scared to come out

[AvonCallingBarksdale]

Not sure why I’m posting really - just feeling . DM is 82 and lives in an over 60s retirement flat about 15 mins walk from us. We’ve been visiting her and standing in the car park while she leans out of the window to chat. Sometimes she’ll come out and sit on their garden bench and we’ll chat at a distance. She’s been going out for short walks but is now having Sainsbury’s deliveries rather than going into the shops. She declined an invite to go round to my aunt’s last week and sit in the garden and today we had planned to meet her in town, stroll up the high street then sit at a distance in the lovely walled garden there. Early on before it gets busy. But she’s emailed to say she’s nervous about coming out so is going to stay at home. I feel really sad that she’s now become too scared to venture out and that this is getting worse. I think her MH has really suffered. But I’m also cross because we were all looking forward to seeing her and I feel that at some point she’s going to have to bite the bullet. But mostly I feel sad not to see my mum.

Remember she's from a generation made of much sterner stuff, who REALLY sacrificed everything for the good of all. Rationing and food shortages, child evacuation, conscription; parents and children separated for years.

She sounds like a very independent lady who knows her own mind. It sounds to me as if you're putting your own needs ahead of what she very clearly has decided is best for herself and her generation in the development. She's coping , be proud of her.

Well she was 2 when the war started and 8 when it ended but I get your point. She’ll come out when she can.

My mum was born in October 1938 but remembers much of the war in surprising detail. I think it did make her generation pretty resilient.
My apologies for misunderstanding you earlier.

Also if she has not driven for 10 weeks maybe she is nervous about that too but doesn't want to worry you.

Give her time to adjust op. I don’t feel ready to be meeting anyone in a garden either (I haven’t met up with anyone or set foot in a shop since lockdown began). Be grateful that you can still chat to her from a distance...I haven’t seen my parents or siblings since Christmas because they live too far away.

I was expecting this thread to be about something quite different 👩‍❤️‍👩🌈

It sounds sensible to me, I wouldn’t want my relative in their 80’s out in the high street with lots of people around them

But you can see her. You have been seeing her.

Just not in the way you want.

I don't blame her. In fact given her age and the stats on how unwell people of that age are often becoming I think she is bloody sensible especially while it's party season in the streets atm

@ViciousJackdaw 😂🤣

Thanks for all the comments - it’s good to see different perspectives. I maybe didn’t explain myself brilliantly - I had had enough yesterday. Despite being 82, she’s usually v independent/getting out there/no nonsense. I think she is bring sensible but I can see that she’s shrinking a bit IYSWIM and that’s making me sad. But we will carry on as we have until she’s ready to venture further

I’m a lot younger, but have been in for 12 weeks now, apart from in the garden and outside the front door. I don’t know how to go into a shop any more. My mental health was fine, after previous bouts of depression. Now it’s not and I think that that toll will never be calculated.

I don’t think people realise the impact their comments have on those of us who have been indoors for so long. It’s bad enough feeling vulnerable.