Have I left it too late?

[Inaminutenow]

I'm originally from Germany, but have lived in the UK for more than 20 years. Came here as a student, met my husband and stayed, have two boys 13 and 10. Throughout the years, I've always had a yearning for my country, which got less when I had the children, but never went away. Always had a dream to eventually move back.
My husband died 6 years ago. At the time I was agonising about moving back, thinking the children would be able to transfer to German school with some difficulty because of the language, but at 7 and 4 they would have been young enough to pick things up. Main reason we didn't move was because I really enjoy my job, not a huge earner, but quite flexible employer, 30 hrs. Also, my MIL is in her 80s and would have taken it badly. And to a degree I didn't want to take the children away from their friends, what they've always known and their heritage and culture. Especially after such an awful time.
But, as time goes on, I'm feeling more and more that I'm just existing, not living. While I get on with people in general, I haven't really formed any strong friendships in all these years. I never visit anyone and we never have any visitors. Back home, I'm aware that my friends meet up regularly, adults and kids, just like it was when I still lived there. I miss being properly a part of a community. I would like my children to have the same childhood that I had, growing up in a village and having the freedom that comes with that.
I go to work, take the boys to sports clubs and matches and do stuff around the house. Most of that has of course now stopped, too. Part of me is thinking that I need to see this through until the boys are independent, and in theory I could move then, but I know it's unlikely that I would move to live in a different country to my boys. I can't see how we could move now that the boys are that much older and would have even bigger problems with school. Also, would I find work? Aaarrrghh. It's doing my head in. I've probably left it too late. I'm not even sure this will make much sense to anyone.

One thing, are you a British citizen these days? If not, you may want to check any possible implications you may encounter if you leave the country at this time (brexit and all that)

One thing also to keep in mind is that if you go and you want your kids to go to University in the Uk, they need to be back in the country three years to the date they start university to be classed as Home students, avoid massive fees and be entitled to student loans that cover tuition fees and maintenance.

Is Mil still alive and would this still influence your decision?

I think you should do it! Life is short and I’m sure your boys would appreciate growing up with a large family around them and make new friends. The older they get the more difficult it might be. I would hate to be away from family and friends so I think it could only enhance all of your lives.

Yes, I got British citizenship last year, so we are all dual citizens now. Mil still going strong at 86.
I feel if the decision was made to go, it would need to be a final decision, without the option of returning. I'd need to sell our house etc.
My husband was quite a few years older than me and I have two adult stepchildren, too, but they are living independently now and of course their mum is living locally. My children have no cousins and I feel they are missing out on having a close wider family. But it would be such a huge move with a number of huge elements, especially the children and their education, my work and the house, I can't see how it can be managed at this point.
If I had had to go back after my husband's death, of course we would have managed, but it's a nightmare having the 'benefit' of choice.