My DC can't ride bikes

[Waitingfortheothershoe]

My eldest struggles with balance and is not at all motivated. I wish I had tried more when he was younger but it might have been to tricky for him anyway. But also didn't put the time in and embarrassment is a big factor now.

My 6 year old I think would love it once he got the hang of it but I can't persuade him to try. He has a lovely bike but if I take it out with us he just flat out refuses. I even tried bribing him with sweets.

Anyone else have this problem? I feel very guilty whenever I see little kids riding around on their bikes loving it.

My older DD is hyper mobile (perhaps mildly dyspraxia too ). She struggled at the age of 6. So I invested in a lightweight Islabike. Did a balance bike for a few days first. She flew with the islabike. The weight of a normal bike was too much for her on top of her own awkwardness & lack of core strength/balance. Within a week of learning she did several miles at the Ride London event.

If you are serious, try to get a light bike. But even second hand ones are quite expensive.

We have an unused Frog bike which I think is comparable to an Isla bike.

For DS ( who has dyspraxia and several other difficulties) it was getting the rhythm of pedals that proved challenging. He just didn't seem to be able to coordinate both feet together.

As well as the scooter and balance bike for balance, we used an excercise bike so he could practice pedaling without needing to balance as well. Once he had both skills it was that bit easier for him to put them

I wouldn't worry over it, my dc is 10 and can't ride a bike even with stabilizers. Not tried for a couple yrs. She didn't want to and so I didn't force it too much as what fun is that. Since found she has poor co-ordination and proprio-reception sensory needs which I think impacts her most.(doesn't have a sense of her place/space so needs movement to do so). She can't use a scooter either.

I have 3 DC. DD1 cracked it at about 5 and never looked back, DD2 was 11 (balance issues), and DS finally did it 2 weeks ago aged 10 (terrified of falling).

They've all had access to bikes from an early age but DS in particular got all anxious when we were watching/helping and just couldn't do it. We left him to mess about with his sister and he came flying past!

@Waitingfortheothershoe frog is good. See if you can use it as a balance bike (minus pedals) first.

My mum never learnt to cycle & she regretted it all her life. She was just too scared to learn.

Try your best.

Update on my post from last night - got my ds age 5 out this afternoon and he's got it! Up and down the street a few times on his own after initially saying he was scared for us to let go. Yes there was a little bribery but it's done the trick!

Peer pressure was what cracked it with our DS. He was a whizz on a balance bike from the age of 2 but got a real bike for his 5th birthday and just couldn't quite make the transition to pedalling (partly laziness, partly confidence). We spent many exhausting hours running up and down and he got to the point where he could coast down a gentle grass slope behind our house and then pedal for a few yards, but that was it. Then one day a bunch of slightly older kids were playing out behind the houses and he asked if he could play with them. I left him to it for half an hour or so, and when I went back out, he was not only confidently pedalling but going over a jump and he's never looked back.

Well done @marypoppinsreturns's lad!

@ElephantLover - I never learnt either and I regret it so much. My parents thought bikes were nasty dangerous things and wouldn't let me have one, and by the time I got to university I just didn't have the confidence - several people tried to teach me but I simply couldn't do it, and now I've got balance problems and probably never will.

Dyspraxia went through my mind...glad I am not the first to put it out there. I am dyspraxic and couldn't get the hang of a bike (or a car, later - I can get all the workings of it well but cannot read the road quick enough at least half the time, so feel very ill-equipped to drive).

My 9 yo can't - but she can. Physically she can, but mentally she lacks the confidence. She'll get there one day.

Stabilisers are a total pain in the arse, all they do is cause them to tip over because they don't encourage them to figure out to stick their foot out to catch themselves if they lose their balance, and once a child has a big crash they'll have The Fear.

You're far better with no stabilisers and taking the pedals off initially and getting them to scoot along with their feet to get used to balancing themselves. Once they know they won't fall over if they wobble stick the pedals back on and give that some practice.

It's lots of hours of practice outside on flat surfaces.

It’s much easier for very small children to learn as their centre of gravity is so low down. Given the chance they can master a bike at 3 or 4.
Start off on gently sloping grass, where falls won’t hurt.

I will add that when we taught our son (on a gentle grassy slope) - we ensured he wore jeans, knee protectors, shin pads and even wrist guards - it gave him much more confidence when he had a wobble and avoided painful fear inducing falls. That was the day he just got on with it

@Ormally (and anyone else), do you mind me asking your opinion? I'm struggling with the balance of helping DS accept limitations but not creating limitations.

Eg, he is miserable trying two wheeled scooting. Has tried it a lot and hates it. He absolutely loved the three wheel scooter. He was fast and it moves easily, was never off it. But he stopped and won't consider the next size up because three wheels makes him feel bad and different.

All I can say is try not to force it. You can go very quickly to real anxiety if things don't feel controlled, even though you know it's probably an overblown reaction, and then that really gets in the way for future attempts, and also makes you even less interested, not determined. Also it often takes much, much longer than for most dyspraxic people to get the hang of some things (and weirdly, on the other hand, other things just click amazingly which you should see at some point). I'm intending to find my DD driving lessons off road from age 13 to give a much longer lead-in without the pressure of peers passing a month after their 17th birthdays.

If I'm honest, having someone else as a teacher that your DS likes/has to work with (for example holiday club leaders), rather than a family member, might be better at getting somewhere. At least you feel honest about getting on with things while really disliking them without feeling that you are somehow falling short or disappointing those you care about. This definitely happened with my DD and swimming - she'd just cling like a koala to us but did step up to good, small-group lessons and now has a great technique on some strokes.

• Sorry, it is me who's dyspraxic and not, as far as I know, my DD, but opinions on giving much longer than average for learning things that I cannot model, are based on the way I have felt in the past.

Dd, nearly 8, has just learned! She kept seeing her friends out on bikes but couldn’t keep up with them on her scooter, which gave her the motivation to learn. We borrowed a too small bike from her friend and she learnt on that - it was smaller and lighter than one for her size. She had it cracked within a couple of days!
After that we bought her her own correctly sized bike, although have erred on the side of smaller / lighter still to make it easier for her (20
Inch rather than 24) it won’t last her long I think but will hopefully give her more confidence so when we trade up to a proper big bike she has the confidence to manage.
I think the main thing that helped was that the motivation came from her and wasn’t me pushing her into it