Starting to night wean toddler tonight - anyone else/any advice?

[ThisNameisaKeeper]

DD is just over 2. She used to feed all the time day and night but over the last couple of months we've gradually reduced day feeds to just morning and bedtime (occasionally lunchtime before nap if we're at home) and stopped feeding to sleep. I'm pregnant and I think the milk is waning which is probably helping the process.

She wakes every 2 hoursish at night and always has a little feed and back to sleep, although last night I curtailed it a little as it was going on for some time and I was knackered! She was very upset for a few minutes but then accepted it, had some water and went back to sleep.

I'd originally planned on one of the gradual methods and I'm sure for many they work better but I really feel for her the kindest way is no more milk after bedtime milk. We've read the Nursies when the Sunshines book and I've told her it's happening but I admit I feel a bit strange and apprehensive about the night ahead! We cosleep and I stay with her to fall asleep but don't pat or anything so I hope once I have calmed her down in the night after inevitable tears she will go back to sleep ok.

I don't expect her to sleep through the night after this, but I think it's the right time to night wean (sad as it is after every single night for over two years!)

Anyone else or any wise words?

I really need to night wean. I have 16 month old ds who I also co sleep with. He wakes for milk 3-4 times a night. Alas, I dont even have the breastfeeding reason, he is entirely on cows milk allergy high calorie formula because he refuses solids (might have a few cubes of cheese or a handful of veggie straws a day) and is 2 percentiles lower for weight than height. Still has severe reflux but what was a severe allergy is definitely now an intolerance, he can manage a certain amount of dairy before the constant vomiting starts.

I feel like if we cut the night milk he might be prompted to eat when he realises its not coming back. He doesnt need it to settle. I cant even imagine him sleeping through the night. At least we're past the many many months of hourly wakings!

Has she got a cuddly toy or similar that she can use for comfort? I agree at her age, just stopping is probably least confusing. I think the gradual approaches are for younger babies where you need to check they don't need the calories and they can't understand to be told what is happening! Just be consistent and let her have as many cuddles as she wants, I'm sure it will be fine. Good luck!

Wear a tight high necked top! I’m useless at stupid-o’clock and mine could get a feed before I’d woken up enough to notice.

@Liland we had many many months of hourly wakings too... after the half hour wakings! I can't actually imagine her sleeping through either but I assume she will one day. I feel for you both re intolerance. Medical conditions do complicate things and make it harder to know the best way sometimes.

@TooMinty she does, but when she wants something in the night like milk she'll have her eyes firmly shut and throw away and say "no away!" to anything else you offer her! In fact cuddles are hard too because she just kicks and fights like a banshee! Last night when she wanted more I picked her up and took her to the window to calm her down and then she asked for a drink and to go back to sleep on the bed where she just rolled over and went to sleep. I hope beyond hope that's what happens tonight! I'll let you know in a few hours. We also thought about DH trying but if he comes into the room at night she shouts as if a monster has come in!

@peajotter ah see mine is a lazy feeder! She asks for "more milk now" and expects it to arrive. She's never actually lifted or pulled down my top to access it herself. She just lies there with her eyes shut crossly demanding it 😂 I kind of have to hold it to make it comfortable for me too. If she just helped herself at night without disturbing me I'd probably let it continue, although one night she bit me I think accidentally while we'd both fallen asleep and drew blood so maybe not!

Well have a cup of water ready and good luck!

Hiya my friend breast fed her little boy who is 22 months and she has recently weaned him off the boob and onto a bottle with full fat cows milk...have u tried ur little one with a bottle...it's probably harder due to co sleeping as ur little girl must need the feeds for comfort if she gets disturbed...does she have a dummy?? Or will she settle if white nosie is on xx

Have you had a look at Jay Gordon's night weaning method? It worked great for us, my DD was just under 2 and we cracked it within a few nights. It's a very kind way of doing it, just be prepared to have one very cross toddler.

I'm hesitant to post this update as seems too good to be true but three nights now of no milk at all overnight. She shouted for literally seconds, asked for milk and when I said not until morning asked for water and then asked to go back to sleep and just rolled over and went to sleep. She's followed the same wake patterns generally and has a quick shout although yesterday only woke the once at 1 (occasionally this does happen so I won't get hopes up too much!)

Honestly, this would have been unthinkable a few weeks ago when she fed all day and night and fed to sleep so it has been very gradual but I'm still very surprised about how it's gone at night so far (touch wood). My DH laughed when I said I was going to night wean as it seemed so impossible to us both.

I hope gradually we can reduce intervention on her wakes and then she can go in her own room but we'll see how it goes. I think the milk reducing due to pregnancy has really helped it be a less traumatic process as it's not so rewarding at the moment when she does have it.

We do sometimes have spates of terrible nights and I dread those in case it's harder to get her to sleep without it on those days but we won't go back now