Today I am celebrating survival

[Lonecatwithkitten]

This could be long and I apologise.
8 years ago today I attending counselling to supposedly help our marriage after ExH's affair in that session he admitted he had not and would not stop seeing OW - so I choose to end our marriage. This is his justification for the end of our marriage being my fault!
At that time we both had good high paying jobs and our daughter was at private school. In the subsequent 18 months his drinking accelerated, he lost his driving licence for drink driving, he lost his job and he and OW verbally abused DD when drunk. As a result contact stopped and I became sole carer of my then 9 year old contact having been 50:50.

I adore my DD, but my job includes out of hours and weekends. I found an au pair and resolved child care. Through some really tough times I continued to afford school fees and the AP. I am proud to say I have raised a strong beautiful confident young lady.
Today I am celebrating eight years since I made the decision, the last school fees payment left the bank, DD had her online leavers assembly from school and to top it off I have worked extra hours to help my business survive the pandemic and I am seeing the first shoots of recovery.
I have treated myself to a piece of jewellery today that I have admired for a while. I feel the survival and achievement at this mile stone should be marked particularly as the anniversary, last payment and leavers assembly all fell on the same day.
Just that.

Well done. You should be bloody proud of yourself and your daughter. What a lovely success story. Hope you get many happy years wearing your new jewellery.

Congratulations 🥂🍾

Here’s to a wonderful future for you and your DD.

What are her plans now she’s left school?

This is so lovely to read

@C0RA she has a placed on a professional training course for musical theatre at one of the top colleges in the U.K. I maybe slightly proud of her.

I think that’s worth a serious boast.

Well done Kitten 🎼🎤🎹

This is so lovely to read, well done for everything you and DD have achieved and what a lovely treat to yourself to mark your achievements

Well done!! Good luck to your daughter on the next stage of her journey.

Gosh. You are amazing! I’m in the first stages and have had to take a 35k reduction in pay to take a job working from home because ex has moved miles away and hasn’t seen DD for months. Your post has made me feel hopeful. You’re an inspiration OP.

Lovely to read this. Well done OP be proud of yourself

@Bathbedandbeyond the point you are at is the worst you have had to totally alter your life because of his actions. It does get better, you will find your new way forward.
From my experience your DC will work out for themselves which parent is there for them and will value you for it.
Sending youand to get you through the tough stage.

OP, you are amazing. It is so fucking good to read a woman celebrating herself and acknowledging how awesome she is.

And you are.

Can I join? I just had a call from work regarding a grievance (a work colleague assaulted me)... It has been a very long and very hard road... But I see the light at the end of the tunnel today for the first time in a long time.

I have also overcome many obstacles... An abusive childhood, an abusive marriage, 2 rapes and several sexual assaults. I have taken my ex to court and faced the abusive bully in order to protect my child. I've raised a wonderful young man, despite his father being a misogynistic bully. I have found a fantastic husband and have built a life for myself. I have managed to sever the abusive chains that I've lived with most of my life and I now work for a charity for abused women. I've overcome addiction and have cut off toxic family members. I just keep going after all the shit that's thrown my way and I'm the most resilient person I know. I am proud of myself. I am a survivor too and will keep on surviving and living my best life.

Let celebrate feminine strength!!

💐 A massive congratulations.

Congrats OP 💐and to twentypasttwelve💐

Wow! Amazing OP 👏👏👏

And her father, what became of him!?

@Twentypasttwelve glad to hear things are moving forward for you.
@justanotherneighinparadise her Dad got another job for two years then when challenged that his maintenance was sufficient resigned and has not worked for three years and his alcoholic partner (OW)'s carer. She meets him for coffee occasionally I get the feeling she loves him as he is her Dad, but she doesn't actually particularly like him. Unfortunately due to how he behaved despite me never having discussed it with her she knows why we split and who he had an affair with. At one point he had another relationship as well and he embroiled DD in that too.
Fortunately she values her self well and when her boyfriend made approaches to another girl he found himself vapourised.

💐

Sound like you're doing a stellar job with your daughter. She will make her own mind up about her father, it took me until I was 30 before I went NC with my dad, but it did happen!!

Well done!

6 years,1 month and 6 days...then I can join you.