Do you have a list of the people you'd want to know if you were to die suddenly?

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Sorry if that sounds morbid but the COVID-19 pandemic has got me considering this very issue big time of late (clearly got too much time on my hands). I was thinking the other day about past significant people (some of whom I'm no longer in touch with), prompted by worrying about an older friend (with underlying health problems) who I generally see once a year or so (contact is only via email/letter not phone).

So do you and should you? Once upon a time an address book would probably have provided you with all the info you'd need to notify people but not convinced these days.

We have a email list from when I was ill last year (not that I was in imminent danger of dying, it was just for updates) so that would do nicely

@Bloodybridget sorry to hear you were poorly. You are clearly more organised than we are.

Ah thanks, @NewModelArmyMayhem18, I am very well now!

Good to hear it!

Clearly, no-one else has an opinion about this at the moment.

I do but not one that's written down anywhere,I'm lucky that my DH knows who those people would be though.

For me it would be my 5DC,my Grandson,my big brother,my BFF(we are like sisters)and my Aunties and Uncles,my 5DC would tell all of they're friends that have grown up knowing me,my brother would tell all of his DC(my newphews and nieces)and my nephews and nieces would tell they're DC and my Aunties and Uncles would tell all of my cousins and they would tell they're DC and so on and so on(I come from a large family,there are over 300 of us so far)my BFF would tell all of her family(I'm very close to most of them and they've known me for over 40 years now)and anyone else I'm especially close to my DH would message them online and for all of the rest he would write on my FB page.

Those would all be if it was in the distant future,if it was alot sooner then all of my Inlaws would need to be added to the list and DH's friends which would add about another 80-100 to the list.

Until I wrote that down I didn't realize how many people would need to be told,I'm feeling more grateful for all of the people that I know and love and that know and love me.

Great idea for a thread OP,I sincerely hope though that none of us on here find ourselfs or anyone we know and love within this position any time soon

I think family doesn't count here, really, as presumably word would get around!

I don't need a list 🤣

Dh would only need to tell my sister and the whole of Scotland would know within minutes.

No. Don't think anyone would care.

When my dad died, my mum used her Christmas card list for the more obscure people.

I have. I live alone and have friends from all stages of my life, so they don't all know about each other. Prompted by the pandemic, I've updated my will and written a letter of wishes to my executors giving details of assets, debts, funeral wishes, and a list of people to contact.

such thoughts make me worry a lot...
Maybe I should pay closer attention to this question. Because, if something happens, I don't know who should know it first and what measures I should take in advance...

Thanks @ohtheholidays. That's quite some list you've got.

You would have a great send-off that's for sure (but hoping that date is very far into the future).

I have a file on the computer - which is the first one in my documents folder and clearly labelled. In it I have a list of various communities on Facebook I belong to, that I would want my partner to let know that I've died. And we have an address book for everyone else - pretty much everyone on our Christmas card list - which is very long, but a few people would spread the news to communities we used to live in.

I have details of what I would like at a funeral on the same document - though obviously at the moment, all of that would be redundant - readings, music, etc. It sounds morbid but I feel very reassured that I've thought about it - and I've told my immediate family how to find the file and also, that if they don't agree with my choices, they are free to change them - after all, I won't know!

That sounds a very good idea.

The thing is that there are a few people that I would want to know but with whom I've lost touch. Maybe I need to make sure i find them to add to a list that I need to make!

A list is a really good idea, especially if finding all the important people isn't simply a case of reading down your Facebook friends list. I've lost both parents in the last few years, and in both cases it was tricky to get hold of all the people I needed to tell. In Dad's case I definitely missed some people. With Mum I managed to contact everyone I needed to, but it was difficult and involved a lot of trawling Facebook etc.
I don't have a list of contacts, but I have put together a list of certain passwords (eg to access photos on the cloud, so DCs would still have any I hadn't got around to printing off yet), bank accounts (which banks not all the details) etc which is locked in a safe. Our nominated gardians and executors know the existence and location of the safe. I also have a very clear and hopefully uncontestable will (or at least a will that would hold up to being contested). This is all directly a result of losing my parents and dealing with the aftermath.

*Guardians obviously.

I don't, but I should probably make one as I am single and my parents/siblings would have no idea how to contact my friends.

I do worry about this in regard to one of my best friends, we don't have any mutual friends and I don't know her family so if anything happened to her I wouldn't find out. She's a fit and healthy 40 year old so hopefully this won't be an issue any time soon but it has crossed my mind...

@Dinosauratemydaffodils I'm sure it's not true that no-one would care.

This lockdown has made me realise that I would care to find out about quite a lot of people (and hopefully vice versa).

My address book only really gives an overview of who I'd hope to be informed (and they're most likely the ones that DP would inform anyway).

Yes, it’s in the envelope with my will and all my passwords/bank details and funeral details.

I want my sis to have as little trouble as possible tracking down my friends, since she doesn’t know most of them.

I have a list of people I don’t.
People I know my dad wouldn’t help but contact - I am no contact for a reason, in the event of my death someone getting in contact would have huge negative effects on my children.

Newmodelit was the same for both my DMum and my DDad when they both passed(there was a few years inbetween)there was over 300 people at the church and at the crematorium,tons of them were family and then there was alot of friends and my BFF and old school friends that knew and loved both my Mum and Dad also came,I know some people find it hard when a funeral is very large but I found alot of comfort seeing how much people loved them and just how many lifes they'd touched and I think they would have been really pleased as well,I know my Dad thought it was a really lovely send of for my Mum and he was extremly proud of how many lifes she'd touched in such a positive way.