People who are in a relationship with a man with a short fuse/easily irritable personality, how does it play out at home?

[Kloss123]

People who are in a relationship/married to a man with a short fuse/easily irritable personality, how does it play out at home?

I don’t mean physically abusive nor do I mean rude name calling, insults etc. but more a general irritation and a short fuse about state of the house, etc. if he’s had a bad day at work etc.

Oh and I forgot but it can be scary too op. The man I live with has always had a very low opinion of men who hit women and in the past if anyone had suggested he could ever be violent to me, I'd have laughed at them. But now, if it happened, I don't think I'd be overly surprised. Just to clarify, he has never hit me. But he's broken something belonging to me, and he's got very close to my face in an intimidating way. He denies the latter ever happened and says I'm too sensitive/exaggerating. I'm sure it happened because I remember how scared I was at the time. I remember suddenly being very aware that he has a lot more body strength than I do, and I remember trying to plan an exit route in my head for if I needed to run. I didn't need to, and he didn't touch me, but I really do think he came close. I think these things can progress.

@pumpkinpie01 I won't be staying with him for too much longer I hope. I'm working on leaving. My eyes are opened now, thankfully.

My dp can be like this if hes tired, hungry, or really stressed. Hunger is usually the main trigger. He knows its a problem for him and he has had this since he was a kid.

Its never aimed at me, or very very rarely.. Its almost like he has pmt.. And as someone eho suffered with that for years I can empathise.

I deal with it by letting him rant and rage for a few minutes.. And make sure theres something in the fridge or cupboard that he can just grab and eat.

He gets angry when he’s hungry 🙄 Jesus is he 3?

My DP is a little bit like this. I wouldn’t say he’s easily irritated, it’s more that when something gets to him he tends to stew for a lot longer than I would and he struggles to let it go. For example if someone at work has annoyed him he’ll call me to tell me about it, then tell 5 of his friends as if he needs to talk it out of his system.
I tend to let him get on with it as I know he’ll snap out of it in an hour or so. Also I can be quite easily irritated so I try to remember I’m also not the easiest person to live with

Oh I definitely suffer from being hangry! It’s like I know I’m acting like a twat but i can’t stop myself and as soon as I’ve eaten something I’m totally normal again

Very wearing, threw mine out for this & many other reasons. It was the constant irritability that did it in the end though.

It depends how general irritation and a short fuse about state of the house plays out. People have bad days and liking the house tidy is not a bad thing and it's possible to express these without abuse.

But if what you are describing is shouting, shaming , bullying, belittling, name calling , snapping, snarky comments, silent treatment all while prioritising important man work and hobbies and expecting you to pick up the slack without thanks, equal treatment or respect ...then I can confirm that it plays out badly for you and your children.

Also look out for whether this is special behaviour that is kept for the family but no one else sees and a pattern with a wind up period before the explosion then fake niceness afterwards but no apology.

I did. It was stressful as hell so although I loved him, I left him, and I’m far happier now.

@BlueBooby , good. You will be so much happier on your own with your dc believe me. Good luck .

My ex was like this. I wasted 2.5 years of my life living with his huffing and stomping. Everything was a problem. My kids were miserable. The day he ran off with a mutual friend and moved straight in with her was the best day of my life. I just felt sorry for her poor kids. When we were together, he used to moan about her kids, calling them awful brats. Now he's their stepdad!

My dp is like this. He's just been diagnosed with adhd at aged 38. Part of the symptoms (see NHS website) is being easily irritated and quick to temper. He starts taking medication tomorrow. I fear the damage to our relationship is done though.

Just to clarify, he has never hit me. But he's broken something belonging to me, and he's got very close to my face in an intimidating way. He denies the latter ever happened and says I'm too sensitive/exaggerating.

No matter how many times you repeat that he didn't touch you, it's still abuse.

Breaking your possessions.
Putting you in fear he might do the same to you.
Denying the abuse happened.
Calling you sensitive etc.

Textbook abuse.

It's not mitigation to be saying "he doesn't hit me because the other stuff he does already frightens me enough to keep me in line".

The only reason he doesn't hit you, is because he doesn't think he needs to yet.

If you stop complying, he will hit you.

Don't do it OP- my dad is like this, I've watched my lovely mum become a shell of what she could of been because she is afraid of his temper. The main reason I married my DH is because he is calm and reasonable. You don't need that kind of crap in ur life!

My ex and father of my children was like that. I think it’s very rare that people like that change. I have no regrets about leaving my ex six years ago.

It's really difficult. I was very like that when I was in my teens but I grew up, chilled out and learned that value and respect should go hand in hand.

Now I'm married to someone who's about 15 years behind me in that way, before we had a child it bugged me but I didn't think much of it, since we had a dc I told him I was sick of his behaviour and it had to stop, when he had another outburst I made a plan, found him somewhere else to live and told him if he couldn't be the husband and father this family deserves he couldn't live with us. He was shocked and mortified that he'd been so awful I thought the only answer was him moving out. That was autumn lasr year. It seems to have been the wake up call he needed.

I think it helps that he knew I was deadly serious. He'll remain on his last warning forever now. He knows I don't need him so he has to make sure I like having him around.

Cock is abundant and of low value. There are almost 8 billion humans clogging up the planet, zero excuse for accepting trash just for the sake of having a man. Raise your standards and self esteem, life is for enjoying, which is impossible when you choose an abuser.

I love that ^. Cock IS abundant, you can get it anywhere. Don't settle for douchebags.