I can’t do this anymore

[savetti]

No time to myself until September ?
My child is spiralling out of control
I just can’t do it
But there’s no way out

12 years old
Needs to spend every waking moment with me , even sleeping in my bed
He will not back off
Just pushing and pushing

I’m so sorry OP. He sounds scared. Maybe also hormonal? I don’t know when boys hit puberty. Have you spoken to your GP?

Didn't want to read and run.
Does he have additional needs? I think lockdown is MUCH tougher on boys than girls. They lack robust communication skills to cope

I can only liken his behaviour to the cinema scene in Gremlins when they are out of control
He has dyslexia, and Adhd probably with executive dysfunction. Incomplete testing.

He’s bored restless doesn’t want to do anything
Nothing captures his imagination
Nothing holds his attention
He’s defiant, argumentative
I can’t even find the words to describe

I’m so sorry to hear this. Could you contact his school for help and advice? They may be able to point you in the right direction. If not maybe the gp’s surgery could, he might need medication for his conditions.
It might be possible for him to attend school atm if he is considered vulnerable due to his additional needs.
Do you have a partner who can help or is it just the two of you?

I’ve spoken to his school a couple of times about the schoolwork meltdowns, but apart from sympathy there’s nothing much they can do. It’s a private school and not much special needs help. They’ve given me ed. psychologists details, but can’t do anything until after lockdown
It’s just me, his dad died 5 yrs ago.
There’s no-one in in his school, there’s 2 kids in his year (dr parents) who are going in to the junior school, but they can just get on with the work, he needs a teacher

My husband was abusive and that’s what this feels like
He either insisting I stop everything and hug and kiss him 50 times a day
Or telling me to shut up and I’m stupid

Do you have parents? Are they healthy and youngish? Could they take him?

He could go to my parents
But that would feel like a punishment. He’d be even more bored there, especially with nowhere to go.

My husband was abusive and that’s what this feels like

I hear you OP - I have 3 SEN DC with challenging behaviour and that's how I feel sometimes too. Except with a spouse you have the option of leaving, whereas there's an expectation you'll just have to put up with it when your child is attacking or controlling you! I can't tell you the number of times I've heard murmurs of sympathy with an undertone of 'this isn't really within my remit' from various professionals.

Why are the Ed Psychs not available over the phone during lockdown, OP? Are they a private provision? Have you tried to contact them? Our LEA ones are still working in our area (albeit remotely).

Is he under anyone at CAMHS? If not, I'd definitely contact your GP and stress that you need some urgent support.

Do you know what strategies the teachers in school use to keep him on task?