How important is your mask?

[Pers]

Having a discussion with a male friend, his question is, how would you react if he asked you to turn up on the first date, ie no make up, no push up padded bras etc.

Would you go? How would you respond?

I promise I'm not a journalist! Just curious

I might go, as long as he agreed to present himself in the way that I instructed him to.

I don't wear makeup and if I wore a pushup bra, I'd lose an eye but there's not a chance in hell that I'd consider dating anyone who told me what to wear.

It’d be a big red flag and I’d block him. Very controlling.

Well I wouldn't go on a date with someone who had the cheek to tell me how to dress and whether to wear make up or not.

@HappyPunky which would be what?

I dress quite naturally and wear minimal make up anyway but I wouldnt take him seriously so I would probably ask my friends for a list then go on the date to see if he did it.
I wouldn't do a second date though.

that's how I go out anyway and have only ever worn minimal makeup. Sounds like he expects women to be thickly painted and uncomfortably dressed at all times. Sod that...

He wants to clarify that it's not something he would ask, but he's asking to see what the response would be, because he feels that is what most of his dates do to mask up. The discussion arose from the subject of deception, how a man deceives a woman, and a woman a man in a different way.

Where is he finding his dates? If its online he could just engage with the women who aren't wearing a lot of make up in their photos.

If the women he dates mask who they are, they're obviously not his type. I wear makeup to enhance my features, not to mask them.

Personally I would think that was weird. I would feel judged and I kick against anything controlling so it would be a big nope from me to go on a date with him.

My only mask is to prevent the spread of Covid. I take that seriously.

Even though I don’t wear much makeup and have never owned a padded bra, I still wouldn’t date this guy. His attitude is a huge turn off.

He sounds revolting. Honestly if he asked me that I’d tell him to get lost and stop being so controlling.

Surely it’s up to a woman how they dress and if he doesn’t like it he doesn’t have to go on a second date?

Does he tend to date Slitheen?

Easy ladies. Perhaps I should address the question differently as it has given a rather distractive impression. The issue isn't about control, rather the comparison of how men and women use deception to achieve their end goal in dating.

How would it feel going on a date, not wearing make-up or other 'accoutrements'?

I wear makeup to make myself feel better about me. Not for any dates sake and not as a mask. It’s to accentuate, not plastered on to make me someone else. Would he not dress up for a first date?

The issue isn't about control

But it is.

If someone is already making demands on your appearance before they've even met you...... Come on.

What do men use to achieve their end goal? Do you mean love bombing? Are you him?

Yes that was him- I told him not to say easy ladies!

Here's what he said next:

"Men use charm, fake promises, fake compliments with the goal of bedding a woman"

"Women use make up etc to get/hope for the invitation to bed"

Weird dude but I'd like to see you all weigh in

It's not a mask, it's a bit of makeup and underwear, going on the examples given in your OP. The vast majority of women who wear makeup do so to highlight the features they already have, it is not so thick that it is a mask. They are still the same person, just with a bit of foundation and mascara. That is not dishonest. Its still my face if I wear makeup.

I am baffled by the stance your friend has taken on this. Women who wear makeup are often seen as looking more professional and put together, but according to your friend, to do this is also dishonest and using a mask? We really can't win, can we?

How would it feel going on a date, not wearing make-up or other 'accoutrements'?

I wear the same makeup regardless of who I am seeing. So I wouldn't go on a date without makeup.

What

I wear makeup because I like wearing makeup and if I’m dating a man he’s likely going to see me without it before we sleep together.

If he can’t tell the difference between wearing makeup and making false promises, he really is an arsehole. Makeup is basically the same as a man wearing a smart suit or a block heel/using the sunbeds.

Is he having trouble in the dating scene? Because it really isn’t surprising.

Why on earth are you friends with him?

He sounds a dick. I wear make up because I want to. If I were to go on a date, I'd dress nicely and wash my hair and try and look presentable in the same way that I would if I was going to meet friends in a bar or have a meal out with my family. I'm not trying to get anyone into bed in those circumstances!