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Original poster

Why do you drink everyday? Or why don't you?

117 replies

Longroadforgotten · 17/05/2020 18:45

DP drinks every day. It bothers me but I can't pinpoint why. I think it is because in my mind it is a one way ticket to becoming dependant. But I'm the polar opposite. I don't drink at all. I used to occasionally but since being pregnant and giving birth I've had a sip of beer here and there and that is it. I can't say I particularly miss it and I prefer being in my right mind all the time (I've always been a lightweight). Therefore, I am not really sure why someone would be compelled to drink every day. Please don't think I'm judging. I'm not. I just want to get more of an overall view of people's drinking habits. DP assures me most people drink most days to relax, unwind and obviously they enjoy it!

OP posts:
JamMakingWannaBe · 18/05/2020 05:59

My OH has a drink every night (usually a bottle of wine but on a weekend a four pack of cider or beer too) because he's a high functioning alcoholic.

exLtEveDallas · 18/05/2020 06:09

I don’t. I associate having a drink with going out, and as I rarely go out (in normal circumstances!) I rarely drink. I’ll sometimes have a few if I’m sitting in the garden in the sun, but otherwise I’m not bothered.

DH does drink every day. I’m indifferent to it now, I just don’t care, which is sad in itself. I used to care, a lot, but now I just ignore it.

Teen DD has lost respect for him. She openly sneers at him/his drinking. I wish he could see what he has done to their relationship but I don’t think he even notices.

JamMakingWannaBe · 18/05/2020 06:10

I didn't realise the extent of OH's drinking- or it has just not bothered me - before I had DD.

I'm disappointed that he puts drinking (and the long term consequences for his health) before his DD, and sad she has an alcohol dependant father and will grow up thinking that frequency / level of drinking is "normal".

If it really does niggle at you, try AlAnon.

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WanderingMilly · 18/05/2020 06:20

I don't drink alcohol at all. I don't think it's healthy, alcohol is unnecessary in our diet, it can (not always) lead to dependency, it causes havoc to those who get so drunk they are a danger to themselves and others, or else they become vulnerable.....

However, it is very easy for me not to drink at all as I just don't like the taste. In my younger years I tried, I really did. Everything from decent wine to gin to champagne, can't drink anything alcoholic. The stuff tastes so nasty I can't even get one sip down my throat...not at all. I am often amazed by people saying things like "I love a glass of wine" or that they use alcohol to relax in an evening. I have no idea how they do it....! I literally cannot drink the stuff.

Original poster
Longroadforgotten · 18/05/2020 06:23

That really resonates with me. He does put drinking before our baby. When DS was three days old he left me to go out drinking to "celebrate" with his mates. He didn't tell me it was happening until he was getting ready to leave. I couldn't believe it.

OP posts:
4inthemorning · 18/05/2020 06:26

I stopped drinking as I hate the feeling of being out of control. I had a horrible experience which wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t have been so drunk.

walkingchuckydoll · 18/05/2020 06:27

My dad is a problem drinker and that's why I find it so sad if prople "need" a drink. Even if it's one a day, it's the needing it that sets my alarm bells off.

bluefoxmug · 18/05/2020 06:35

I don't
at all
I like the 'first sip and ahhh' feeling, but drinking makes me feel ill very quickly.

I have since discoveredvthat I get this 'ahh' from any iced drink though.

Overtired123 · 18/05/2020 06:43

I have a small glass of wine (150mls) with dinner pretty much every night. For me, I wouldn't go to the trouble of making a nice dinner without having a small glass of wine to complement it.

I never binge drink (probably maximum 3 drinks on special occasions). I never, ever drink other soft drinks. Coffee, tea, water and wine only. I don't eat any crap so no concerns about calories.

I find it depressing that we have a presumption in this country that people are incapable of drinking regularly but moderately. That attitude is actually what leads to binge drinking.

Clearly, I'm in a minority though.

EdwinaMay · 18/05/2020 06:44

Assuming he drinks early evening - what does he do with his evenings, anything useful.
I joined one of the threads on giving up because I drank early evening then dozed away the evening. In the summer the evenings are long.
Ime if you can't take it or leave it ie do you drink some nights (maybe hot ones) but not others ok, if you drink every day without fail you have a bit of a problem.

chatterbugmegastar · 18/05/2020 06:44

Why is it odd that he drinks 2 glasses of wine a day and keeps within the government guidelines?

And you do appear very sneery - it appears to be that because he isn't drinking like you do , he's odd

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 18/05/2020 06:44

DP drinks every day. It bothers me but I can't pinpoint why. I think it is because in my mind it is a one way ticket to becoming dependant

I thinks he's arrived at the station.

I presume he did this right through to the end of your pregnancy & does even now you have a new born?

I think it's easy to get into the habit of a drink every night when you get home from work or to look forward to one each night after you've (finally) got the kids into bed or whatever, but if nothing gets in the way of that (like Having a heavily pregnant wife Or a new born baby or just not giving it a thought) then there's a dependency there that's not healthy.

Onone · 18/05/2020 06:48

I used to drink everyday just to unwind an kill the boredom,I’m trying to lose weight now so I only drink at the weekend

Ughmaybenot · 18/05/2020 06:55

I don’t because five or so years ago, when I was in a horrid abusive relationship, I’d somehow found myself drinking every single night, sometimes a couple of glasses but sometimes 2 bottles. I’d built up a tolerance that made it very clear to me I had all the signs of a problem starting so when I left him, I stopped drinking.
Now I’m happily with someone else and married, and we are ttc so I’m not drinking at all, but I never got back to drinking on weekdays and never to excess (at home anyway!) at the weekends.

Original poster
Longroadforgotten · 18/05/2020 07:07

@chatterbugmegastar I hope I haven't come across as sneery to others - sorry if I have. It bothers me - yes, do I stop him - no. I don't have a go at him. I just wanted to find out if, as he says, most people drink every day. I don't drink often, never have, and I therefore find drinking every day odd. I never said he was odd. If you looked at us objectively as individuals most would say I'm the odd one in the relationship Smile what he does is up to him. I'm simply trying to understand.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 18/05/2020 07:09

I don’t drink because I never want to be reliant on anything or weak enough to need a crutch.

lifestooshort123 · 18/05/2020 07:15

Overtired123
Totally agree. Apart from my one glass of wine every day, I drink loads of water and a couple of cups of black tea during the day - no coffee or soft drinks. It amazes me that most on here reckon I'm on the pathway to being a problem drinker - lighten up! I choose to drink (it doesn't choose me) and if there's no wine in the house then I drink water until I go shopping again. Gosh, sometimes there's a patronising, superior, judgmental lot on here.

geojojo · 18/05/2020 07:17

My dh had a glass of wine every night when I met him, he said it help him relax and sleep. I didn't like it either and asked him to just stick to weekends which he now does. It was mainly because I felt he was reliant on it even though it was a small amount. Is your dh willing to adjust at all?

molifly14 · 18/05/2020 07:20

I don't drink because I have young children and don't feel it appropriate to be under the influence whilst they are in my care. If they became ill in the night or needed me to take them to hospital I would be mortified if I was unable to drive/care for them.

silentpool · 18/05/2020 07:23

I drink one glass of wine daily. I do it because I enjoy it. There are plenty of people who drink in moderation. I rarely have more than two glasses on a night out so it's hardly an issue.

molifly14 · 18/05/2020 07:26

I also don't have drinkers mindset as I've never been interested.

For example I was once invited to after work drinks for a 'lemonade'. I arrived at the bar first so bought the other two people glasses of lemonade and was absolutely mortified at their disgust that going for a 'lemonade' actually meant a glass of wine. I had no idea it was a thing and it was so obvious I was not in their wavelength that it made the rest of the evening very awkward!

Original poster
Longroadforgotten · 18/05/2020 07:47

@molifly14 that's hilarious. Never heard of going for lemonade either!

OP posts:
ITonyah · 18/05/2020 07:48

That's quite sad molly

WeveGottaGetTherouxThis · 18/05/2020 08:21

@worldweary45 I’m exactly the same as you. It would never occur to me to drink at home. I have zero desire to have a drink...my husband, on the other hand, would drink every day.

lazylinguist · 18/05/2020 09:36

I sometimes wonder how many people who, on the face of it, drink moderately and unproblematically, would nevertheless choose to magically switch off their liking for alcohol if they were able to. And thereby remove the (perhaps even very mild, in the back of their mind) pressure of choice and control over their alcohol consumption, maybe slightly improve their health etc.

I think I probably would. (Much as I'd also press a magic button to make me like fruit more than chocolate!) But that would mean that you actually want to be a non-drinker. In which case, unless you're dependent, why wouldn't you stop even without the magic button? That's why I often toy with quitting, even though I drink moderately.