Early autism signs or late developer / personality?

[Lou0712]

I’m worried about my son....
Someone I know who has an autistic child commented that he twirls his hands like her son did & since they said that I cannot stop googling & seeing signs! He is almost 8 months old & is a very happy boy but the following concern me :

1. Eye contact is very much on his terms. Sometimes he will give me a fleeting glance & smile then look away, sometimes post-feed I can get a lot & other times he will turn his head to look everywhere but at me!
2. the hand twirling - he does it a lot like he’s conducting an orchestra
3. he doesn’t enjoy peekaboo....in fact other than me making funny noises at him or tickling him, he gets the most enjoyment out of solo play (he does bash toys together, plays in a normal way and mouths them etc). He’s quite happy being left to play & doesn’t cry when I leave the room or look for me. He also has no stranger danger & doesn’t always greet me with a smile when I’ve been out for a while
4. sometimes he’ll look where I point & when I call his name, other times he’s too fixated in something else.
5. he doesn’t babble. He can say ga, boo, huh but never together ie gaga & he doesn’t do it socially, just to himself & not much. He makes a noise blowing out of his nose like an elephant instead haha
6. doesn’t mimic faces or sounds. He does sometimes frown if I do & then smiles when I do but not always.

He does respond to noises, looks for the cat when I ask where he is, rolls both ways, loves standing aided, reaches for toys, loves his food & can drink from his sippy cup....hasn’t attempted crawling but he seems to be pretty on track with physical stuff it’s just the social side I’m worried about. It’s hard with it being lockdown! He does smile at my mum on FaceTime & he smiled at 2 strangers today on a walk...generally he is fairly easy to get a smile out of!
He communicates to me when he wants something by making a frustrated sound but hasn’t grasped that he should look at me if he wants something.

Does any of this stuff sound like normal perhaps slightly quirky baby behaviour or is he ticking a lot of autism boxes? I know he is young but they diagnose it much earlier in America and I’ve heard you can do early intervention so I’d love to know if I’m just panicking for no reason or should perhaps see someone....

Any advice would be great. I know I should just enjoy him but I just really want to give him the best chances in life & if that means worrying but getting early intervention I will deal with the stress!

Thanks

He's eight months old, nothing you've described would raise any red flags given his age. And the twirling hands thing is completely meaningless, all small children do stuff like that. It's only when older children flap and twirl that it's a potential indicator of autism, because a lot of autistic traits are in fact perfectly "normal" traits for small children. It's when they persist that developmental issues become noticeable.
They do diagnose autism younger in the US but that's more than a little controversial, and not always a good thing. Ditto the early intervention stuff they call therapy. They won't diagnose autism in a baby in most countries outside the US and for good reason.
Honestly there is nothing for you to worry about. Also i feel the need to point out (only because people sometimes list these as reasons their child can't be autistic) that autistic children can be happy smiley babies with fairly good eye contact too.

I have 3 children and one of them has asd. From what you describe I would not be concerned yet. All babies display asd traits, the issue is when they continue with the traits as they grow that it becomes a concern. 8 months is way to young to be thinking asd. If the signs are are still there around 3 years old then seek support but until then stop worrying and enjoy your child.

Thank you both for your reassurance.
Very interesting to hear that the early diagnosis & intervention isn’t necessarily a good thing. I was worried that due to him being my first child, I would miss signs & make things harder for him if I didn’t try to help soon but if there is nothing I can do until he is older even if he is on the spectrum, then I will try to stop analysing everything!

You have no idea at 8 months, honestly.

My son was 2 when I really knew all was not well. No talking, major obsessions and terrible separation anxiety.

He was 5 at diagnosis.

He’s 7 now and seems far less autistic than he used to be. No stimming, obsessions gone, eating normal. Just needs melatonin and that’s it. Well balanced and bright and great fun and the light of my life.

Everything changes constantly and there is no point in worrying before you need to.

I have 4 one with asd and none of that would concern me. Just enjoy him, the vast majority of autistic traits are seen in non autistic children they just do them more or for longer.

8 months is way to young to be thinking asd. If the signs are are still there around 3 years old then seek support but until then stop worrying and enjoy your child.

I agree that the OP should not be trying to diagnose her son at 8 months, but I wouldn't agree that anyone should wait until 3 before seeking support if they are concerned that their child is not developing as expected; if you genuinely have concerns at 18 months or 2 years old act on them.

My very severely autistic brother smiled and had good eye contact frequently (still does aged 25), and his HV was unconcerned aged 1 and 2. He is now non-verbal. You just don't know, and even if your kid has ASD there's nothing you can do right now.

Fwiw nothing you said is concerning. Remember your DS will have had 3 months of no groups or peer contact, it's understandable he's used to playing alone!

Didn’t know the difference was when they did these things for longer....
As others have said, it makes it difficult in lockdown as he cannot interact with others or learn from peers. But all my NCT friends keep telling me their babies love back & forth play & are babbling away & get very upset when they leave the room so on top of the comment re hand twirling, I found myself practically convinced there was something wrong.

The main thing is those of you saying there’s nothing I can do right now & to wait until he is at least 18 months before raising any concerns. That’s exactly the info I was after...

Yes that’s the other point as op have said....
Apart from melatonin I can’t think of any benefits from diagnosis

Of course there are benefits to a diagnosis and you certainly don’t need it to get melatonin. OP hasn’t mentioned her child has sleep issues.
OPs child doesn’t sound as though he is displaying any signs of autism. The only thing that would make me pause is that she’s voiced her fear.

@itisbetter

Actually, I have found limited benefits to a diagnosis - it really doesn't change much other than EHCP, and yes, in our case we were finally allowed melatonin.

Many people hold it out to be the holy grail which it is not.

But all my NCT friends keep telling me their babies love back & forth play & are babbling away & get very upset when they leave the room so on top of the comment re hand twirling, I found myself practically convinced there was something wrong.

Oh god, ignore the NCT comparisons. There's a tendency to think our kiddo is the best, most advanced baby ever. And some people deliberately exaggerate or lie to 'keep up'.

Babies are all different and there is huge variation. I don't think in 2 years time you'll remember when your DS rolled over, sat up, babbled, clapped etc. Even where there is a delay (not referring to your DS) it's not necessarily something 'wrong'.. and something being 'wrong' isn't always catastrophic.

it really doesn't change much other than EHCP, and yes, in our case we were finally allowed melatonin. both are available without diagnosis if there is a need.

babies are odd little creatures and do all kinds of weird things which they grow out of.

I have a DD with ASD/learning difficulties and I had an odd niggling from 7-8 months old that something was amiss. She was just different a tiny bit - but not delayed as such at that stage. So I am the last one to tell you not to worry if you have a gut feeling.

I would keep a diary where you note down 'odd' things. If you pick up on more things by the time he is 1, I might have a chat with the HV (if any good - most are utterly useless in picking up Asd behaviours) or the GP. They will probably fob you off and tell you to wait and see. If you are still worried by 18 months, I would really push for a referral then. For now, I would just enjoy him

My son has asd and I wouldnt be at all concerned with anything you've said at this point.

Nothing could be assessed about ASD at this age, all sounds totally normal!

The twirling hands used to be regarded as normal development when my oldest was that age. All of mine did it, plus the children I nannied, and several others I know.
Everything else seems normal too.
If they're flapping their hands when they're 6yo or older then you might worry.

Flapping your hands is totally normal if you are distressed. It’s context that counts. Eg woman watches son being swept out to see and wrings her hands with terror, normal. Child flaps hands frantically because house in school run changes window frames, probably less usual.

Thanks for all the comments, I really appreciate it.
I don’t think this is a “listen to your gut” moment as if the lady hadn’t mentioned the hand twirling to me, I wouldn’t have thought anything of it & fallen into the google hole which then made me look for signs & then pick up on all the things I’ve mentioned above. The only thing I think I would have thought was weird is that he doesn’t seem to have the same attachment to me that I thought he would have re me leaving him, when he sees me etc. He definitely gives the cats a bigger smile than me!

Being my first, it is so hard to know what is & isn’t normal especially at the moment where we are unable to see other babies! As I’ve said I did ask other mums of babies but like @Gimmecaffeine said, it is also hard to know if they are being completely honest.

I think a diary is a good idea but I am Also going to try to stop looking for red flags, enjoy him & if the things I’m concerned about persist i will definitely speak to someone.

Honestly thank you all so much for the continued replies and support. It has been so helpful & reassuring!

DS1 used to twirl his hands and feet all the time, I think he did it until about 18 months. He also didn’t babble until 10 months. He is now 4, very sociable and never shuts up! DS2 has also only just started babbling at 10 months. So I think 8 months is pretty early to worry about that.

@itisbetter

Not in my trust and I should know.

Not only have I gone through this with my son but I ALSO WORK FOR THE TRUST

Please accept that we don’t all have the same experiences dealing with this.

Thanks.

For us, DS1’s autism diagnosis has been a huge advantage as we’ve managed to get him into a specialist school for pupils with autism, with his place fully funded by our LA. He’d had an EHCP for 5 years before he got the diagnosis, and melatonin as well (although we didn’t stick with the melatonin as his sleep was just about manageable without it). Getting the diagnosis did give us more options though with regard to support.

Certainly at 8 months, OP, I wouldn’t worry about your DS. Just keeping an eye on him whilst enjoying him.

My ds was diagnosed development delay at 9 months and then later ASD. So yeh you can spot issues early on. But given it s lockdown just continue as you are and consult h v at next time it s feasible. In a few months you will have better idea. Or record a video and send it in to gp if you are seeing things you worried about. In meantime keep talking singing playing

@Embracelife interesting hearing you could spot signs early...what were they if you don’t mind me asking?
Will definitely keep an eye on him, thanks

At 8 months a baby will often look a you when you wave your hand at them or need help, even if it’s just in passing. If they instead look at just your hand and try to use it as a tool then that could, potentially, be a sign. Probably best to keep a diary as a PP said. Hand twirling at this age is perfectly normal.