Next door neighbours in the evenings

[novacaneforthepain]

What do you feel is a reasonable time for people to be a bit quieter/ more considerate in the evenings? In regards to not disturbing their neighbours. (I mean no loud music or screaming and shouting with kids, not general noise)

7 pm onwards but most neighbours don't care about others and will continue to shout into their phone and slam doors up to midnight daily!

Outside?

Inside

I don't think we are noisy generally but I would say 9pm.

Are you having a noise issue. It might depend on how old the kids are, how often it happens, style of accommodation

It’s all relative. Pre C19, a one off Birthday / Anniversary / Wedding and I’d be popping round at 1am.

Every weekend? I’d let it go weeks 1&2 (see above) but would be knocking on their door with a passive aggressive smile at 11pm the 3rd weekend, 10 the next and 9am Sunday morning the following day , letting them know if the calling the police / council from here on in.

I would say 9pm for gardening jobs, DIY. Occasionally 11 pm if it’s a birthday party. If it’s a loud music every day 9 pm wouldn’t be enough probably, so a bit earlier.
But I’m a quiet type, usually busy with DD’s bedtime after 8pm.

One set of NDN, who have 2 kids, age 5 and 7, and they are hitting the walls, throwing things, screaming and running around until 9ish every night. It keeps me awake (yes I am in bed at this time haha) and wakes my baby and toddler. They are brilliant neighbours apart from this.

I thought 8 was a reasonable time, but just wanted some different views.

Agree with 9pm, seems reasonable. Maybe a bit earlier in winter when people are settling down sooner.

I suppose 9ish yes.

@nicky7654 . You sound like you might live the other side of my rather noisy and loud neighbour .
Christ knows what state their door frames must be in .

Thanks everyone. I know our family are all in bed earlier than most so 9 seems late, but I suppose that is a fair time!

No judgement on your irritation but that genuinely wouldn’t bother me.

@SinglePringle I don't think i would even notice if I wasn't trying to sleep, or it wasn't waking up my kids 😫

I don't notice them at all any other time of the day and I'm sure they are even louder during the day!

They are lovely kids and a lovely family, I feel awful being irritated.

Unfortunately, being irritated by noisy kids at 9pm is life... they are not BU.

When does it become unreasonable @singlepringle?

I know exactly what you mean OP. We have the exact same until sometimes past midnight (with primary kids!)

@Inthepurplerain yes completely agree, there has to be a cut off point

If you are in bed asleep that early then surely you must be up early and generating some degree of noise
Which they may find equally annoying if they are up late and prefer to lie in
I think expecting total silence from neighbours that early is a wee bit unreasonable

11pm is technically night hours but personally 10pm is when I’d like the upstairs neighbours to quiet down! Wishful thinking though

Why do you go to bed so early?
Nosy ask.

@Hobnobswantshernameback yes we are up at 6 and would definitely generate noise, but any screaming and shouting from my toddler and I tell her to stop. I also consider that running up and down the stairs would wake them, so I don't do it or let my DD do it. No noisy games or toys etc until 8. Definitely don't expect silence , that's why in my OP I said not general noise.

@pictish haha. I am BF so I just go to sleep as early as possible because I'm awake most the night. Also habit from working days- pre lockdown

I think 9pm is reasonable too. If you go to bed outside of "normal" hours I think you need to be the one who adapts. Can you use a white noise machine or earplugs?

Good idea I might try white noise for the kids!

Yes 9 seems fair, I do agree

You can get white noise apps for phones and tablets and most have a week free trial - you could try that maybe?

@vanillandhoney great, thank you! I will try it out