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ADHD partner during lockdown

5 replies

ToLiveInPeace · 16/05/2020 14:28

Anyone here with an ADHD partner who can share how you're coping during the lockdown?

DH is shielding, so we haven't left the house for many weeks. He takes medication but seems to be in a deep pit of inactivity and misery since the lockdown began. His ADHD is the inattentive type (and he's certainly not paying any attention to the housework). He works two days and cooks for me when I'm exhausted. I'm WFH 60 hours a week and doing everything else but it's descending into squalor. I'm afraid I've lost my shit with him a couple of times, including today when faced with a six foot run of dirty dishes sitting opposite an empty dishwasher.

Don't anyone tell me to LTB, because he's a sweetheart who would give anything not to be this way. Any solidarity would be appreciated, however...

OP posts:
Prokupatuscrakedatus · 16/05/2020 14:52

Household full of ADHD and AS people, here - you have my fullest sympathy.
DD (inattentive, too) thinks about taking medication again and is glad for zoom uni lectures, for the hyperactive variety we have an excercise bike.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 16/05/2020 14:54

For household chores we have a list (task and time when it has to be done) that needs to be signed off by the person on duty (me, DD, DS)

ToLiveInPeace · 16/05/2020 15:37

Thank you :) Hope lockdown isn't too difficult for you all. I think lack of structure is part of his problem. It doesn't go to well when he/we try to impose it ourselves (e.g. if he's meant to wash dishes, he'll put it off all day and be just starting or in chaos when I get home from work) but I'm thinking allocating specific tasks per person might work. How does the signing off work for you, can I ask?

OP posts:
donkaaaay · 19/05/2020 21:23

No ADHD partner but I'm pretty sure I have ADHD, and my son is diagnosed. If you download the Organised Mum method app onto a household iPad then it has a daily tick list of the jobs that need doing. Lists help me hugely!

Not sure if your partner would be willing to try this but look up the SAVERS morning routine. Really is life changing for me. And accept that some days will be better than others Smile

FergusSingsTheBlues · 19/05/2020 21:26

You need to him a checklist
Or get him to time himself

My son was very bad like this but I’d gradually being trained

I have a tendency too, but I just try and get the momentum up

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