Question. If your husband

[Loopylou6]

Had alcohol issues, to point he's had a seizure, then was hospitalized because alcohol had stopped him eating and had blood results so bad that he nearly died...
But then you found he'd been drinking mini bottles of spirits on the sly, what would you do?

Leave. Leave today.

He may realise that he's hit rock bottom and turn a corner, and fully engage in services and make a recovery. Perhaps then, down the line, he will ask to come home, and you will have some thinking to do at that point. Or maybe he'll continue down this path and never get better. None of us can really say.

Either way, you have to separate your DC's home life from this man. Right now you need to stay away from him.

So sorry you're going through this OP. It's fucking awful to watch someone you love drink themselves to death. They leave a trail of destruction behind them and it's ultimately the ones who love them who suffer the most.

I’m so sorry to hear this.
I remember your thread from last time.
Sending you love and strength to help you with some tough decisions.

If he's sneaking around doing spirits behind your back again I'd start detaching as much as I could.

He's had the chance of help and services available when he was hospitalised (think you were worried about ascetes at the time? I can't remember how it's spelt) but it sounds like huge emotional worry and a drain on you although I know you care

Ascites

I’d leave. It’s heartbreaking for him, but you can’t save him. He needs professional help for himself.

I'm a former habitual drinker and no one could have made me stop. You need to leave. You have been incredibly supportive but it has to come from within. You staying now is enabling sadly.

Alcohol is his significant other.

Divorce him. My Dsister had the same problem.

Her MIL blamed her when my exBIL continued to drink himself to death. He died almost two years later. Far too young to die.

She had to do it because the effect it was having on her children was really becoming serious.

Hi OP. I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I’m a recovering alcoholic and agree with PP in that he has to take responsibility for his own recovery.

Don’t feel guilty if you make the decision to leave or ask him to go. Sadly there is a very high relapse rate for people in their first year or treatment.

I’d think he was beyond help at this point and leave him

I would give him one last chance to get help or leave him.

No more chances if he messed up again after this.

Speaking as a recovered Alcoholic ( 4years+) he needs a life-changing shock.
No amount of loving support will help while he feels able to bumble along as he is and he will carry-on and become even more deceptive while telling you he will change and making promises he will never keep.
Ignore the pleads, the threats and the tears.
You need to leave.

He nearly died, and that wasn't his rock bottom.

I would be very scared about that, for my own personal safety and mental wellbeing, and that of my children.

I can honestly say that is the point that I would end the relationship and ask him to leave.

Send him to rehab. It’s not rocket science.

I'm a recovering alchoholic - seven and a half years clean now - and I recognise myself in your husbands behaviour. I've been there.

He won't stop until he wants to - I can't stress that enough. If he never reaches the point of wanting to stop, he'll die. Sadly, you can't persuade him to stop if he doesn't want to. You can get him support, send him to rehab, be by his side whilst he destroys himself - it'll all be wasted effort because he hasn't made the decision to fight his behaviour. Remember that you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you really can't cure it.

Look after yourself and your family - you don't deserve this. Get him to move out. It was only when my family withdrew all help and support, which up until that point had been enabling me to carry on drinking, that I began to see more clearly - sofa-surfing with friends is no way to live and they too sick of you very quickly and finding yourself literally homeless really is a wake-up call.

I pulled myself together long enough to arrange emergency housing with the council - still drunk at the time - but that was the start of my recovery.

Thankfully, my family are very forgiving.

Rehab will be a complete waste of time and money.
Rehab won't change him.
Only he can change himself.