Anyone tipped their life upside down and survived?

[thedognextdoor]

Just that really. In the absence of any (what outsiders might feel) good reason, like abuse, adultery etc, has anyone just walked out of their life and made a decent new one?

I'm middle aged, quite bright but had no career as bringing up family single handed whilst husband worked long hours or away. Kids grown up, left home, I work part time in an unfulfilling job. Suspect I'm too old to retrain for anything now. Even if I did, and found something fulfilling to do, I've done everything at home for so long that the house would fall to bits. I get told quite often in a jokey fashion that I don't contribute enough (I do EVERYTHING at home). We get on ok but there's no real love left anymore, we are just housemates tbh. Dc don't respect me much either, I think they think I've had an easy ride financially as I was able to be a SAHM (although I have always worked PT) they don't appreciate that I was always there for them.

I fantasise about packing my bag, going to live somewhere on my own and just working full time in a coffee shop or something, just coming home at the end of the day to my own four walls, not having to answer to anyone, or clear up after anyone else, sit and watch tv with something simple for dinner, and just be me.

Has anyone done this and made a success of it? Or am I just thinking the grass is greener?

I think in all honesty that the idea of packing your bags and going to work full-time in a coffee shop or something is sadly unrealistic in this climate.

Jobs in coffee shops tend to be quite poorly paid and the jobs that are available are in demand.

You're not at all unreasonable to want to leave but why would you walk out of the house?

I assume you're married? You should just divorce your husband, take your share and make a new life in a sensible fashion.

Sorry if I'm blunt...I did mean to add that I sort of started all over again...at age 44 but with my DH. We upped sticks and took our DDs to live in Australia.

That was 4 years ago. It was the best move ever.

Why should you just walk out? Divorce him...get things sorted properly.

Can I ask how old you are? You're probably not too old to retrain.

What about moving somewhere new with Dh or has it gone beyond that now?

I'm 51. I don't think moving with him is the answer, I feel like I'm stuck in a massive life rut and our stale relationship is part of the problem. We don't have anything to talk about anymore.

I think a change of direction would be more realistic at the moment

How about going and getting that job and then taking it from there?

Yep. 7 years ish ago.

My daughter was just born, work gone back to 'normal' hours of 70+ a week.
I remember the day I decided I'd had enough. Sat working it out in terms of life hours. Over 280hours away from my child a month at work to pay for a house I'm not in, a car i rarely drive, a sky package I never watch, a phone I don't need etc etc.
I quit.
Went to work at Asda.
20-30 hours a week in 3 days sticking fridges, 4 days to myself.
I have up a lot of 'stuff' car went, £245 a month saved. Phone went, £55 a month saved. Sky went £90 a month saved. House downsized £350 a month saved. Alcohol went. £50 a month saved. So on and so on.
Went from bills of around £3500 a month to less than £900 over about 6months.

You'd think it'd make me feel vulnerable, but honestly, I felt far.more secure with such low outgoings.
Can anyone do it? Maybe, takes a lot of sacrifice and accepting 'stuff' isn't important. Shelter, food, heat and light is all you need, everything else has to be questioned... is it worth mortgaging your finite time on earth for it?