Lockdown self-care plans turned to shite, please tell me I'm not alone

[LeopardPrintKnickers]

This is very trivial compared to the wider issues around Covid-19 I know, but I wondered if I was on my own here or there were more of us...

When lockdown was first announced, I decided to use this time, away from other people and the mad rush of day-to-day life, to make myself feel better, stronger, healthier, happier...

So, I made some plans:
I would continue with my very strict low-cal, food replacement diet that's hardcore but really works for me
I researched which online yoga classes were best and ordered a mat
I planned to walk the dog every day while listening to a podcast or something that would inspire me
I would drink a shit-tonne of water to aid weightless, stay hydrated and make me look gloomy and 10 years younger

The combination of these things that not only would I feel better from the outset, but I would emerge from lockdown feeling a million times better than before.

The reality is, juggling three kids, homeschooling, working full-time from home and all the challenges of lockdown, means I've done precisely jack shit. No, actually, worse than jack shit - I've actually regressed.

I weighed myself yesterday and I've put on a stone. A stone that is really showing and I really didn't need - making my overall goal even further away. My yoga mat is untouched in a cupboard. I live on tea and make food choices constantly because well, food right now is life. I don't drink water. I'm too knackered and lethargic to walk the dog.

I look dreadful. I feel dreadful. Worst of all though is having made all these plans I feel like I've let myself down, when really, I know I'm just getting us all through this as best I can.

Every part of me wants to pull it back and start with the plans I had, but then I see crisps or a flapjack and it all gets put off until tomorrow. Or the day after.

Is anyone else feeling the same, or am I the only one to be totally bollocksing up lockdown?

Same! The most self care I dobis taking a shower each day and even that's a challenge. I've been eating a load of crap and look like a panda with seriously dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep and too much screen time.

Yup. Are you describing my life?!

Just posted on another thread I don't understand how some people seem able to commit to exercise daily and follow through.

The one bit of advice I've found useful is don't try to change too many things at once. Change one thing at a time so you can stick to it. You'll feel good for sticking to it. If you set too many changes and fail at them all you'll feel even more rubbish than before.

The water thing might be the easiest to change first. Carry a water bottle around the house with you to remind you to drink.

FTMF30 high five! I'm managing a shower because I treated myself to some White Company shower gel so at least I smell nice even if I resemble Waynetta Slob. But I hear you on everything else.

Pippa I'm not an exercise bunny so I don't get it, but so many friends are embracing their daily run and I envy them the joy and purpose it brings them. I have no idea when I would fit it in though. I get up at the crack of dawn to get a head start on work, or tit around on here and social media, then I attempt to homeschool for a couple of hours, then I'm back to work until at least 6pm, then it's time to sort dinner and so on, and before I know it, I'm ready for bed again. Love the one-thing-at-a-time advice, thank you. I'll go and locate my water bottle now and start with that. Thank you.

I think you have taken on too much at once and are now overfaced.
Forget the yoga and use the dog walk as exercise, you're life is busy enough.
Try baby steps, a small change first like a glass of water every hour, do that for 3 days then add something else small like walk the dog every 2 days or listen to a podcast when you're making a meal.
Write a short list of things you want to achieve in the day/week, even if it's something you're already doing, it will feel like an achievement when you tick it off.
Concentrate on small goals to build up to a routine.

I feel like I can hear the alarm bells ringing in my head reading this. The restriction diet you describe isn't working because nobody can sustain themselves long term on a diet like this. Symptoms of starvation include depression, lethargy, loss of interest in things you used to love. Add in the huge stresses of a global pandemic and your increased workload and the difficulties of managing home life and your body's natural instinct will be to seek comfort and nurture, it's probably starting with food because it is hungry. If you're living on tea and not taking the time to eat regularly then all your body will want to do is snack or fall into the biscuit barrel at 3pm.
Have a read on intuitive eating if you can, it explains things better than I can. There's a book called "just eat it" by Laura Thomas, she also has an Instagram page that's really helpful when you're stuck in this sort of mind set.
Starting with water is a great idea too. One step at a time.

Don’t be so hard on yourself! (Easier said than done, I know.)

This is a totally new, scary, unpredictable situation. And even without any anxiety over the actual virus, getting used to WFH and supervising school work, it’s a lot of massive change - it’s really ok to struggle with all that. I’ve actually home educated DS for over five years and yet I’m still finding it far more difficult now because it’s not the same when you can’t go out, drop them at clubs or share the load with friends. As for having DD1 back home and trying to help her keep up with school work when distraction is everywhere - it’s my biggest source of stress ATM. And I’m not trying to also balance working as well - give yourself credit for how much you’re juggling!

One thing I’ve learned (in therapy) is that the biggest thing I can do is ask myself “what can I do right now?” - it’s fine if I only remember about drinking water in the evening, if I drink a glass then it’s still more than nothing and it doesn’t matter if I forgot for the rest of the day. Same with yoga - even if you only fit it in once rather than following a schedule, it’s still great that you’ve done it once! Every time you make a good decision it’s progress, it’s not undone by forgetting or being too busy the next time.

Sorry if that was patronising/preachy waffle! But I really get what it’s like, I have struggled with this stuff long before lockdown (I have ADHD so sticking to stuff is not my strong point!)

You are being way too hard on yourself. This is lockdown not a yoga retreat in Ibiza!!

I think most of us have gone through stages ranging from productive and healthy to slobbiness and being grumpy.

This week I am planning on cutting back on the biscuits a little bit and having a bit more water.

It's enough. We've all got enough on our plates.

Yawnfest thank you so much, yes, I think the feeling of overwhelm can be well, overwhelming at times. I like the idea of building up to create a routine. Thank you.

Kiabella oh no, trust me I AM eating - badly! I just meant I was drinking tea rather than water. I hear what you're saying, thank you. Maybe comfort right now is better all round? I'll take a look at the page/book you suggest - thank you so much.

Echoing others, you seem very “all or nothing”. It doesn’t need to be total success or total failure. And to be honest, keeping yourself, your children, your job etc going through all of this is enough of an achievement- it’s really not the time to set unrealistic goals and then lash yourself for not meeting them. I’m working from home with 3 kids- a teen, a KS1 and a preschooler. If we get to the end of the day with most of the school work done, my work down, and everyone fed and relatively happy, we are winning. Anything else is a bonus. Be kinder to yourself, and keep it small at the moment.

itwasgood, ha that made me laugh. The very idea of a yoga retreat in Ibiza is enough to almost my eyes glaze over in lust... (although to be clear, I have never done yoga). Anyway, yes, you're right, maybe small changes are the way forward.

Artesia, that's interesting - I think I probably am all or nothing. Big plans, then achieve none of them and feel terrible for it. Looking around me, I think I'm like that with everything else too, which I've not considered before. Thank you.

I hear you OP!
I started a new job one week before lock down and I’m now a key worker. I move a lot in my current job role and realistically I should feel and look fabulous compared to where I was sat on my backside for 6 hours a day in my old role before lockdown.

Now I feel hideous. I have lost all motivation to make myself look like how I did before. I’ve put on half a stone... how that’s even possible I don’t know... well I have an idea 🥂🥂... but I eat a very good diet and in all honesty I just feel shite. Somewhere in this madness and chaos I just feel like I’ve lost myself a bit. It doesn’t help that I can’t do the things I normally would to help me feel better. Like get my nails or brows or even just a haircut.

Laneboy thank you - I like the 'what can I do right now?' approach. I think I am too ambitious and then very quick to whip myself with birch twigs for not achieving it all, so then scrap the whole thing. You weren't preachy or patronising in the slightest - your advice is sound and wise, and much appreciated.

Ginny fist pump to you my love! I understand and completely empathise - I suspect all of us, whatever our circumstances, are a little lost right now in among the fog of lockdown. And nails, brows and hair are the things we do to prop ourselves up and make ourselves feel more together and more accomplished and polished and ready to face the world. Without those, instantly we feel less than ourselves - I absolutely get it. Just know you're not alone in feeling like this, and some of the advice I've had on here has been great -small, small steps can make a difference and we don't all have to sprint. Thank you for the key work you're doing, it's appreciated and we're so grateful.

I love this. I'm a yoga teacher, so that obviously kept my physical yoga practice going - but teaching online and seeing myself on camera made me think I should lose a few lbs.

That hasn't happened, and yesterday a load of technology hassles and other stuff saw me resorting to eating junk.

Today will be better... I'll take my own advice and be more mindful.

My self-care goal is having a pee without needing to wipe the toilet seat, or flush the toilet, before I use it.

God yes, definitely me too. I daren't face the scales but my clothes tell me to step away from the food for pity's sake or....ping! Attempted the first bit of exercise in six weeks and fell over less than two miles in, had to limp home in shame and grazes. Have been running 3x a week for over two years and now it's all gone to shit.

I could lockdown and keep my job going OR lockdown and do a fair job of parenting OR lockdown and look after myself. I can't do all three. I am doing a half-arsed job of the first two, which usually has me near tears by bedtime and then fooooooooood.

100% this. Working from home and childcare for a lively toddler, was losing the baby weight before lockdown but I am just depressed and barely functioning now. I hate working from home, my contract is now unlikely to be renewed so having to job hunt in a recession, husband in same position with contract, food is my only pleasure.

Me too.

Childcare, home learning and my own job...I'm an actual mess. Had hoped I'd emerge glowing and svelte.

Now hoping I'm just about staying the same.

I had grand plans for improving my diet for both health and weight loss. I was going to go out running every other evening and when my husband was out I was going to do the Les Mills streaming classes. Condition hair, do nails, face mask etc.

Reality - I've basically turned into a houseplant over the last 7 weeks. A houseplant who eats mars bars and drinks wine.

Be kind to yourself. It is fucking hard right now, especially as you've kids with the full time work.

I made myself feel better by adding up the hours in the week, and what I needed to achieve in them, and that between working, childcare, sleep, cooking, shopping, cleaning, the time for anything else just doesn't exist. Frankly if all occupants of the house are fed with cleanish clothes and I'm keeping my work plates spinning, I've decided I'm winning right now.

My lockdown goals were to finally get up to date with the housework. Totally unattainable as DH tends to leave things where they drop and DS likes to crawl around behind me emptying drawers, cupboards and the washing machine.

I have managed to commit to daily exercise, Joe Wicks PE lessons can be managed while DS naps and I live in hope that one day I might get through a session without feeling like me knees are going to give out.

Food? Forget it. I deliberately didn’t buy junk food to snack on then DH brings home chocolate as a treat 🙄

Yes and now I'm taking action.Im back on 1200 calories a day combined with 16:8 fasting.

I did try running and got quite into it, but I've injured myself and now can't walk, let alone run.

You do need to walk your dog though (or someone else does).

It's not just you!! I now live in my pjs and I'm just off to eat a box of french fancies!

Same. I have been exercising and active but the wii said I had put on at least two pounds. My bmi is ok. However, I think because I am at home and can't go anywhere i have been comfort eating a bit. My friend also said one of the tablets I take makes you crave carbs so that won't help either....