He's just gone

[JodieF123]

Hello, looking for some advice/ place to vent.

Since lockdown started the bf had been drinking more than ever, he's always liked to drink but it has been getting out of control these past few weeks. This last week we've been arguing because he has started taking cocaine again, something he hasn't touched for years. He says it's only because he's bored and not working which is obviously horse shit because everyone is bored. But today he went out and just didn't come home, text after 6 hours saying he was staying with his ex (to look after his daughter) but now I'm completely at a loss of what to do, I know I'm better off with him gone but it hurts is ended like this after years, I'm on maternity leave with a 4mo and can't go back to work due to furlough. I have no idea how I'll pay the bills and feed us all on just my maternity allowance.
Any advice or ways to hide a body would be greatly appreciated

Hide a body? The fuck..?!

I hope that was a typo.

First decide if it's really over. I strongly advise you to end it because of his drugs taking. He could hurt the baby while off his face.
If yes then apply for Universal Credit.
Ask family to help and dad for child maintenance.
Make a budget and cancel or reduce your outgoings.
You can call citizens advice or chat with tyem online on their website for advice.

You don't need some coke head OP. Change the locks just in case. You will be entitled to more money with him gone too.

God what a selfish prick OP! He sounds vile you and your baby don't need a Coke head.

If he has moved out decide that now and apply for tax credits or universal credits as a single parent

The drugs taking is insidious, dangerous and complete loser behaviour.

Personally I'd change the locks.

With lockdown there is so much financial support available. Access it. Universal credit will give you an immediate advance.

I was (if you can imagine) unaware that my DP was taking all sorts of things a few years ago, under (it turned out) the malicious influence/encouragement of a jealous OW who incited him against me and our child. (Yes ...). A lot of damage was done, but I'll never forget (nor will our child) the terrifyingly insane behaviour when she introduced him to cocaine. And I just thought he'd gone mad. I had no idea where the behaviour came from.

But that's what it was. A nightmarish combination of alcohol and cocaine.

I would really steer clear. Just treat him like a bad addiction. Go cold turkey and get the incompetent loser out of you and your child's life.

You know he is bad news. Try and be strong. Lean on those around you (social distancing in place of course).

Go as low contact with him as you can. In this current climate I would wait for him to ask about seeing your dc.

Go to cms. And apply for universal credits.

I know it is hard but do not contact him. If you get the urge draft an email and don't send it for 24 hours. Pour your heart out to anyone else who will listen.

You and your dc deserve so much more.

He wants you to apologise for being so unreasonable and to beg and plead with him to come back. If you massage his ego by doing that he will probably return - for a while. Then he’ll be off again, back to his ex or on to the next woman unfortunate to have a baby with him.

You will save yourself many months/years of uncertainty and unhappiness by taking him at his word, changing the locks and starting a new life without him.

Just lock the door and don’t let him back in

Thanks everyone, nothing from him today. The locks will be changed shortly for sure! It was more money i was worried about, obviously heartbroken and abit shocked but my sensible head says I need a plan as I (now) know we're better off without!

And you don't need to plan hiding a body... He's back with his ex. She will choose to accommodate him as she will...