I was a healthy weight as a young child but had quite an unhappy childhood and started to put on weight around the end of primary school.
By the time I'd finished secondary school I was around a size 20-22. I lost a considerable amount of weight in my early 20s and then was stuck in a cycle of yo yo dieting, but going between a size 10 and 14.
I'm now nearly 40 and have been a healthy weight for about 5 years. I done a lot of work on healing my relationship with food, going to therapy and finding an exercise I love. All good stuff.
However I feel a sense of shame about how I used to look. Today I saw some old photos someone had posted on Facebook from a trip I went on when I was about 18. I was so shocked to see myself. I don't have photos of myself when I was bigger as I can't bear to look at them. I was very badly bullied about my appearance throughout my childhood, which adds to the sense of shame I think.
I don't want to "whitewash" this part of my past from my children but I also can't imagine ever being in a situation where I can look at a photo from that time and not want to tear it up.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?