Anyone else have relatives who are determind to fill your home with their crap...

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

...or stuff to their taste but obviously not yours.

My dad is in a pissy with me. Today phoned up to moan that I haven't thanked my mother for a hand made toy llama she left on my doorstep for me to display proudly in my home.

Huge drama. All my fault. Apparently.

I am annoyed because:
a) I am almost 40. My DS is nearly 17. We just don't do soft teddy thingies. She knows this. She's the kind of person who has teddies displayed on her sofa. Good for her, it's her home. But it's not to my taste.

b) I've had no time to call. Finished a 48 hour shift this morning. Back for a 12 hour tomorrow and a 24 hour on Tuesday. Can't even remember what other shifts have passed or await - is a blur.

Today is my day to catch up on housework, laundry and stuff.

I'd have called when I had the time. When he rang I was outside Tesco. I was busy.

c) I've told her a billion times I don't like clutter. My house reflects this. I like things tidy. There is nowhere to jauntily place a stuffed llama.

So, there it is.

She has history of this. Wants to fill my home with things of her taste. Constantly. Brings vases and stuff. They end up in the garage.

Can't leave my shit alone, either. For example, tells me my cushions are 'crying out' for sequins and embroidery. And they're really not. My cushions wish to be left alone.

She went through a phase of telling me which of my walls she'd like to knock down in my home. She'd mention it every visit. Poor walls - they cause no offence.

Changed the locks a few years back and she still badgers for a key. Er, no.

Quite hoardy, my parents, now I think about it...

Anyway, that's my little vent.

Anyone else? Anyone have similar ishoos? Please share. Feel like I need some kind of online support group.

Snap.

Have two sets of parents here that seem to think charity shop junk has a place in our house for us or the kids.

At one point I got so pissed off with it I bagged a load up and sent it bak with them and told them to stop bringing shite over

Yep! It doesn't help that we live in a tiny cottage which is too small for us and DS as is. We don't buy him loads because he's a baby, he doesn't register toys much and we DON'T HAVE THE ROOM!
Said to the in laws multiple times 'DS doesn't need things, save your money or put it in a savings account for him' etc. Every time they visit it's a bag of tat from the charity shop or something they 'just saw' when out shopping which DS 'would just love' 🙄 DS doesn't care!
Our house is full of this crap because when they come the next time it's 'where's that toy, let's see him play with it' even the toys from months ago they remember!
And what DH's family's obsession with stuffed toys (especially the giant variety) I will never understand. DS's room is a tiny box room and it's taken up with sh*t teddy's that he doesn't even notice.
Then they have the cheek to come over and say 'you really need a bigger house'!

@DDIJ wow, furniture! I would go ballistic! That's such a personal part of your house. I feel trapped by having to keep furniture that our landlord left here, let alone having random things turn up at your door! Feel for you!

When I first married we moved into a tiny unfurnished flat. Both sets of parents (mothers ) decided it was the ideal time to replace their large slightly post war brown moquette three piece suites and kindly give them to us. Was a bit of a logistical (and taste) nightmare

Yes, my sister loves charity shops and regularly presents me with 'I saw this and thought of you' finds. I feel bad for getting annoyed about it because she does it with the best of intentions, but I then have to dispose of these things. And she thinks she's picking things I like but it always falls short of the mark. For example, she knows I love reading so picks up some books for me. But I prefer reading on my kindle. And half of the books I've read before. Or they're by authors I don't enjoy. Another example is that I like floral prints. So she gave me a duvet cover with a floral design on it. But the flowers are big cabbage roses - like something from the 70s. So not my taste at all. I feel ungrateful even typing this. But they're unwanted gifts and she does it all year round - not just for my birthday or Christmas.

Yes chav wear for dh and cars they now get binned we’ve no room for them and hideous ornaments after a year they get binned.

DDIJ can you afford a house clearance to come and help you???
Can you just cut off your parents?

OP and DDIJ put things out the front with a FREE sign, even the llama, and they will go.

My mil used to do this, she was a chain smoker and everything reeked of smoke. She even had the cheek to bring us stuff that we had bought her, for birthdays etc, but would get upset if I said I didn't want them! I used to leave them on the doorstep, and say she could take them back with her or they would go in the bin.

Yep.

I have some weird existential nightmare where my mother keeps buying, or offloading shit she doesn’t want that I “might need” on me. Lamps, vases, candles, little knick knacks and ornaments, pictures...

None of which is to my taste at all. Especially the bloody big countryside prints which would “look lovely on that back wall, it’s so empty”.

Then she tells everyone I am a hoarder, I have too much clutter, and never throw anything away. If I do throw stuff away i get a huff and asked why I haven’t got that lovely doulton vase on display, i’m so ungrateful and she’s not going to buy me anything ever again....

I also don’t look after things. This after she bought me a load of super fragile glass christmas tree decorations, moaned when I didn’t use them, then got upset when I did and between a dog, two cats, a baby and a toddler they all broke.

I did take to asking when she complained about my “cluttered” house to point out something she hadn’t bought or given me....

When i was single she used to rearrange stuff and throw stuff out all the time- under the guise of helping... i’ve cleared out the cupboards of all those horrible coloured sheets and towels and replaced them with lovely clean white ones...

Yep, we have a relative who has very kindly given us most of her granddaughters old clothes for our younger DD. It's been a god send, it really has, but at the risk of sounding like an ungrateful cow, I have no room for it!

DD has not long turned 2, our wardrobes are full of bags with clothes up to age 5-6.

I was telling said relative I needed to get a second wardrobe for DD2 as having 2 children share meant we had ran out of room. She turned to me and told me "you know what you need to do then don't you? Stop buying them clothes!"

Considering I hadn't bought DD2 more than a pack of vests in about a year as we were so well stocked with clothes, I was not amused.

My dad is also guilty of trying to offload his stuff onto me. But in his defense lots of it is my old stuff that he's kept for years that he has never gotten round to sorting out.

Years ago my mum used to arrive with carrier bags full of chocolate and cakes.

My ex husband had a (controlled) weight issue and likened it to buying booze for a recovering alcoholic.
One day he couldn't stand it anymore, she never listened. He put all the sweets and cakes into the bin in front her.

She didn't ever do it again. She didn't ever speak to him again either.

Oh and we also get anything that DH ever owned, made or farted on in his 30 years of life given back to us. Almost like the in laws were keeping it all in their attic for the day we have a child and a tiny home. I get keeping a few bits from childhood, but his painting from 25 years ago, seriously? Oh and all his old clothes that are the itchiest wool knits, that he tried putting on DS who screamed the place down it was so uncomfortable.

And half packs of open nappies from SIL that won't fit DS for another year.

My mum sends me completely unsuitable things despite our home being entirely clutter free. She sends me weird clothes she must know I would never wear eg I wear entirely top to toe Muji - linen, plain colours, no patterns. She sends me glittery tights with patterns all over...who is this woman you think is your daughter?

My mother in law gives me all her cast offs. Gifts her friends have brought her eg a sombrero from Mexico or religious tat from the Vatican. I throw it all in the bin.

48 hour shift?

Not so much now as I've grown a backbone, but when I was pregnant with ds the in-laws arrived with a bag of second-hand white vests from a car boot sale that "they couldn't resist" followed by me arriving home from work one day to find fil in our flat (had popped round to help ex-dh with his car) fixing an old pine bathroom cabinet to the wall in babies room. His reasonging was a mate of his was gonna chuck it out so he thought it might be useful for us , Possibly, it may have been useful if we needed a bathroom cabinet - in the bathroom, but not in babies newly decorated room. That's when I learnt to speak up

When we had our first home, MIL offloaded a box of knick knacks "for your shelves". We didn't have any shelves & I don't do knick knacks - they need dusting!
Dh brought this ruddy box home. Old ornaments. Ashtray figurine of young girl holding a headless chicken (broken). Old man smoking a pipe (chipped). A china boot with big pink flowers on it. Other ashtrays - we've never smoked. Really stuff a couple in their 20s wants .
Binned (other than the boot which dm had to put a plant in)

Yes, 48 hour shift.

Pandemic. Plenty of staff shielding/unwell/staying home with children.

Fucking yes. We get a load of shit from the PILs.

We get all their old decorations they dont want anymore. Its basically just random tat. I dont want an old, cheap decoration that they have rejected

We also get shit thats given to us for a purpose thats actually not suitable for that purpose. They gave us an old letter organiser to use as a cutlery organiser insert. Why? Whats wrong with an actual cutlery organiser? An old random pint glass to use as a vase. But we have perfectly decent vases, and our own pint glasses. Loads of stuff like that. 'Oh I thought you could use this tuppaware to organise your shampoo in the bathroom' . No, why would I put random tuppaware in my bathroom?

They arent even hoarders themselves and wouldnt dream of using a crappy pint glass as a vase in their own home