In my shoes, would you work?

[Dranktoomuchpepsi]

Full time.

DS has suspected ASD and something else minor so lots of appointments. He is 2.5. We have decided and know that in order to save for a mortgage, I'll need to now return to full time work.

My job doesn't really exist as a part time role. It pays about 30k. You can do something a bit similar, for part time, but the pro rata salary would be something like 18k!

I'm really struggling with what to do. I love DS so much and know he will be my only one. So this time is even more precious. I'm more worried too about when he eventually starts school. Because, it would mean missing all the school pick ups

I know you can get employers who allow flexi time or some home working. But my job title isn't that in demand within the area and only about 1 job for it gets advertised monthly, so the chances of getting that job AND it being a flexible employer is rarer than hens teeth.

I have applied to some in the past, got interviews and a job offer that I turned down. So I know I stand a good chance. I just wonder if its right for DS and me

What would you do, honestly?

I think you are right to really think about it but it sounds like if you want to save for a mortgage it is the only option. For a bit of balance my kids always go to after school club. I'm on maternity leave at the moment and pre pandemic they didn't. They asked to go all the time! Normal pick up is very hectic and pick up from after school is much nicer; a few kids, get to go into school, chat with staff about the day whilst I sign them out. I don't know about every school but it's definitely not the worst option in ours. I am still picking them up from school just later.
It might be worth thinking about time off for appointments etc. I am a teacher so it's really inflexible. I can't have time off for school plays or assemblies and would struggle taking them for appointments and it sounds like this is essential.
It's such a balancing act isn't it?
Also it's worth examining how you feel about your job. I had a couple of years off after my second child and it actually surprised me how much I missed my work and feeling I was contributing to society in a wider sense. I didn't go back for the money but for fulfilment I guess but it's still a balancing act.

Why not keep applying and ask for part time hours at interview? Or do 6 months and then request flexible working? My job is never advertised as part time, but after 1 year I negotiated 0.8fte.

And it's easier to do that year of full time when they can go to nursery that'd open 51 weeks a year. School is actually harder...

I agree with PP it's actually easier when they are little than after they start school and it gets harder still as they progress through school IMO. While they're small they're generally happy to do as they're told re nursery etc, as they get older they miss more if you can't be there to facilitate after school social events.

It doesn't have to be forever. Take the job and see how it goes. Once you're established you may find you can negotiate PT or if the alternative is a job paying roughly half and the objective is to accumulate some savings, you only need to work half as many years!

I think that after lockdown a lot of employers will consider changing how they operate permanently - more wfh and leasing smaller premises rather than large offices which accommodate all employees. Bide your time - the kind of flexible role you might want could well be out there.

I would get a full time job. But I've always worked full time, and I was brought up by a single mum who only ever worked full time, so I am probably influenced by my own experiences.

Your kid probably won't care that you're not their for all the pick ups and drop offs. Make memories in other ways.

I have a child on asd spectrum.

I didn't work before they started school. Even going to nursery was hell.

If on the spectrum, the appointment etc and juggling of every day life is so different to those parents of NT children.

I'm a lone parent and work now again obviously. But even part-time, there are still months when I'm juggling work days to accommodate the numerous appointments we still attend.

I'd also say that the drop offs and collections are really important for consistency. The rare days I cannot do this require huge amounts of notice and stress/anxiety.

Given all of that, I'd really postpone returning to work personally. Yes it will take longer for a deposit, but this time could be make or break time for your child and dictate how the future unfolds.