I don’t know how to help this person and need advice please

[Dontknowhowtohelp1]

Hi

I have been speaking to someone on my Facebook Covid support group. She is in physical and mental distress and I don’t know how to help.

She has had a lot of abuse and trauma in her past, and is now shielding due to her physical condition. However for reasons connected to the abuse she has suffered (if I understood correctly) she has been isolated at home for many months.

She has tins of food at home but can’t manage to swallow and has lost a lot or weight. Her GP has given her milkshake sachets but she can only manage one of those a day.

She has a mental health worker that she speaks to once a week who says that she needs to keep fighting and be strong.

She is very depressed and says that she doesn’t see the point in continuing.

I don’t know how to help her. I don’t live near her. I said that if she is not eating at all she might have to be admitted to hospital but she is scared of leaving her two cats.

I suggested that she post here for support but she didn’t manage to register so I am doing it for her and will show her this thread. I know that people on here have a lot more knowledge than I do.

Thank you.

Look after your self op. Treat yourself to something nice to eat or something(chocolate? xD) . I'm sure this has left you very shaken and drained. But it's been a good lesson at least. You're a nice person, unfortunately that means attracting these sorts from time to time.

Thanks @Wanderlust .

Don't feel bad, OP. I have a friend that used to do this to me. I had to step back. She's been 'terminal' for ages, been abused by all her children, been in and out of hospital.

I realised after a while that nothing I did would ever help, and that I was becoming ill attempting to support her.

Hi OP

We thought it might be helpful to post a link to our Mental Health Webguide here in case there are any numbers that might be useful for your friend.

Thank you @picklemewalnuts and @HebeMumsnet.

I agree you need to step back, I don't necessarily think she is being deliberately manipulative but is hurting and feels stuck.

I would personally ask for a police welfare check and leave it at that.

She needs proper medical help if she can't swallow or eat, there is absolutely nothing you can do to help there and her mental health is so fragile she needs professional support there too.

I've been in the same position with someone who was constantly suicidal and insisted nothing helped and it drained the life out of me. I stayed friends with her on social media and see she just keeps moving from friend to friend no doubt with a similar pattern of relating to them.

She won't be happy if she sees this thread and the responses you are getting!