Anyone who had no friends managed to make close friendship(s) with women after the age of 25?

[JungleRaisin]

Always struggled with making female friends but fairly easily managed to get male friends but think I do prefer female company overall but can never get past the acquaintance stage with women and feel I’ve missed the boat at the age of 27 :( never had a girls night out, girls holiday, shopping trip etc. Even the ones that see me as a friend
live in different countries so have drifted out of contact. I wonder if people even hang out with their mates much now or if everyone is busy with their partner, career, kids etc,

People say it’s never too late to find a new partner, get married, career change, study at uni etc. but I find most people’s close friends are all from school and uni at the latest. Work colleagues tend to revolve their life around boyfriends/husbands, their kids and childhood/uni friends. Any tips?

P.S I don’t have kids so the route of baby groups or school pick up is not an option.

I moved to the UK when I was 27 knowing no one. I have a really broad social circle now. Some work, some through hobbies/interests/internet meetups, and now some through my husband and kids.

I do think it’s easier if you live in a city, though, where there is quite a mobile population and people don’t fall back on the school/family circle.

Yes - I moved cities when I was 29 and met a girl through work who has turned out to be the best friend I have ever had. I was a bit like you OP - I felt I’d missed girls holidays, popping in and out of each other’s houses, coffees, girls nights out...but now I have it and it’s wonderful. It’ll come, bit like romantic relationships. Just be patient

Thanks for both the responses so far. Sounds really good.

I've always found that the best friendships are built over sharing some kind of hobby or interest. 27 is still a good age as many women are still single/ child-free. It can get harder in your 30s as life gets more domesticated.

I like the website Meet-up. There’s often women only groups set up in your nearest city and the
the meet ups are in a larger group but obviously you can break off and form one to one friendships

Hi OP. I was exactly the same as you till my early 30s then it all changed when I had the children. In more recent years my I have several newer friends who are either neighbours, people I have met dog walking (5 fab new friends this way, 2 of whom don't have even have dogs of their own!) and a couple through a hobby. I don't find making friends easy but it seemed natural with these people as there are ready things to talk about. Don't lose heart, you sound really nice. You do have to put in a bit of effort, show you want to be friends.

You have plenty of time. When I was 27 I didn’t have any local friends, I’d just moved to a new area with dh and it was just him and me and work acquaintances, However one of my current best friends is someone I met a work when I was 30. (I’m 49 now) I’ve since moved to yet another area but we still keep in touch.

I don’t have any friends from school, uni, (except one on Facebook), neither does dh,

Most of my current friends are ‘mum’ friends but I think the key is finding someone you have something in common with whether it’s kids or a particular hobby etc.

Thanks a lot - that makes me feel a little better.

Start a craft club or book club. You'll meet people with similar interests to you - it's how I met my friends!

And I'm well over 25!

My closest friends who I see the most often, aside from one who is a friend from school, are all current or former work colleagues. I do have mum friends too. I think some workplaces are more sociable than others - I haven't made close friends at every place I have worked.

Sometimes you just have to be brave and ask to exchange numbers or suggest a trip out after work one Friday? If there isn't an established social scene at work, you could suggest drinks? Do you work somewhere where this would be possible? A city centre office where most people take public transport to work with bars in close proximity is obviously much better for this sort of social scene than one where you're on a business park and everyone drives and theres not a pub for miles.

A number of people I know have made good friends at running clubs. Not sure why running groups are particularly friendly/sociable but they seem to be!

I have a couple of friends from school but the rest of my current circle of good, call them at 3am to get their help to bury a body type of friends were all made in my late twenties (I’m now in my forties).

this makes me sad op, I was like you

I had no friends during my late teens and early to mid 20s as I was in a controlling relationship where he cut off my existing support network and hated me going out without him. A lot of my friends drifted off as they assumed I didn't want to be friends anymore

I also had the double whammy of struggling to make female friends as well as I was bullied by women in some workplaces

however I did make more friends from 26ish onwards but that was a combination of I had a baby, and I finally ditched the ex. and also cos I had a baby so I met other mums through groups etc. I am 40 now and have a good network of female friends

No real advice really but I think this is more common than people think

I think the thing with running clubs is that you have a shared interest, but also something to talk about even if its just ‘I’m finding this hard’ or ‘look at that dog’. You can build a bond without feeling like you have to talk all the time (often you’ll be too out of breath to do anything but groan!) You also don’t have to put up with prejudice or expectations- lycra and sweat are great levellers.

Here’s an idea, OP. Stop seeing men and women as different species. I like my male friends for the same reasons I like my female friends, many of my best friends date from my late 20s — my closest friend I met in my early 40s at work — and despite having lots of women friends, I have never even considered going on a ‘girls’ night out’ or ‘girls’ holiday’.

Thanks everyone so far. I think noticing that pattern where I couldn’t befriend women made me categorise them and see them like something unattainable, which gradually made things even worse.

When you say about a girls' night out, I think it can be harder to find an all-female friendship group like that once you've left school/university, unless you work in a very female-dominated environment or you have school-aged kids and luck out with fellow school mums. As people get older they tend to mix more with different people, and even if you do form one main friendship group it's less likely to be made up entirely of women who are into 'girly' things. But friendships with individual women, sure, they can happen at any age. I'd second other people's advice about joining hobby groups or Meetup.

I moved school constantly because of my DF’s work so never had the chance to maintain childhood friendships. My mother struggled with MH issues, so we were never close.

I have acquaintances from schools and uni but the best friends are brilliant people I have worked with and lovely people from a variety of things I did that I cared about and put effort into.

It’s such a shit-sounding truism to ‘do a hobby or join a club’, but the reality is that if you lose yourself in something you really love, you’ll find your tribe.

Oh bless your heart. I am 25 and have struggled to make/keep friends. My two closest friends have young children so are understandably occupied! I've learnt the hard way not to make friends with people I work with (purely personal/to do with my line of work). Everyone keeps telling me to join a club, but sadly that takes money! I went off drinking and going out clubbing at 22/23 which limited me!
I am currently pregnant and should be making acquaintances at antenatal clubs etc but that's out of the window.
I totally understand where you are coming from. Don't worry you aren't alone!

I joined a netball.club - best bunch of girls I've met and no one knew each other previously. Way out of my comfort zone but the best decision I've made in a long time, we are all aged 23-51 but get on spectacular off the court with lots of meals and drinks out