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Original poster

If you suffered from first trimester depression/anxiety and you now have a child...

23 replies

Iloveshapesiloveshapes · 07/05/2020 16:33

...please could you tell me about them and reassure me? I'm really struggling with worry, intrusive thoughts and despair which I think is a combination of hormones and reaction to current global situation

I'm so worried it's not great for the baby but if someone could provide some anecdata about your lovely children that would really help...

Sorry, this is the second reassurance thread I've posted. I'm struggling a bit and so frustrated with myself for not being able to sustainably get it together. My toddler still doesn't sleep through and the last few nights have been particularly bad which combined with sickness doesn't help!

OP posts:

Original poster

Iloveshapesiloveshapes · 07/05/2020 17:18

A nervous bump!

OP posts:

Original poster

Iloveshapesiloveshapes · 07/05/2020 19:04

I wonder if this is one to move to parenting... I'll ask

OP posts:

Mybobowler · 07/05/2020 19:13

I did! I had severe first trimester depression, which turned into a sort-of manageable anxiety through the rest of my pregnancy. I also moved house and has an incredibly high-pressured job. I was on the verge of a panic attack on several occasions, and I remember thinking that I must be hurting my baby (which, of course, only made me more anxious). Fast forward, and I am now a calm, happy mum to a beautiful 16 month old. She is smiley and giggly and an absolute joy.

I hope my experience can reassure you a bit, but please seek the help of your midwives if you haven't already. I was referred to my perinatal mental health team and they were great. Just having that safety net there was such a help. I hope you're getting some support and care. Look after yourself!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1st trimester Families General pregnancy

picklemewalnuts · 07/05/2020 19:27

Me!
I have a beautiful 24 yr old, and was so depressed while pregnant.
And a beautiful 19 yr old, who I was desperate to fall pregnant with but considered terminating because I was so, so, miserable.

I won't lie, I was pretty miserable throughout the pregnancies, but fine once they arrived.

Weihnachtsstern · 07/05/2020 19:36

I was so anxious I was signed off- panic, intrusive thoughts etc. DS is nearly 2 and is incredibly calm and happy.

YakkityYakYakYak · 07/05/2020 19:49

I struggled with anxiety in my pregnancy, particularly so in the first trimester. The anxiety faded a lot once I could feel movements and have more confidence that she was okay in there. I was also working full time in a demanding role, having to manage mass redundancies, and writing a masters thesis; it was a very stressful time in my life and I was worried that it would affect my pregnancy.
DD is now almost 1. Healthy, happy and an absolute delight (most of the time!).

lettersbyowl · 07/05/2020 19:51

Thanks for starting this thread OP. I've had antenatal anxiety and depression throughout and am nearly at my due date. It is making me worry about what I'll be like afterwards, and it's reassuring to hear it might start to go away.

MaidofMuswell · 07/05/2020 19:54

Off the charts, signed off for work, debilitating unrecognisable miserable anxiety through both pregnancies - worst time of my life and honestly still shudder and have to remind myself its happy news to congratulate people on whenever a friend shares that they are pregnant. Two super happy, chilled, friendly little people here now without a single sign of having been grown in a nervous wreck of a mother. There’s so much mad info out there that is so misleading: I really really recommend you contact your midwives as others have said, professional help didn’t fix things but stopped me terminating and I am so so glad of that.

RoscoePColtrane · 07/05/2020 19:55

Had terrible prenatal anxiety from about 3 months on. Baby was typical newborn but then became the sunniest, most sociable baby and that has stayed (teenage angst aside currently!). Mine was very specific anxieties rather than general and it was quite crippling at times.

Minai · 07/05/2020 19:57

I had extreme anxiety in my first pregnancy. Completely debilitating. Ds1 is now almost 3 and is a perfectly normal, brilliant little boy. He is quite chilled out, much more so than ds2 who I had a more relaxed pregnancy with.

totallyyesno · 07/05/2020 19:58

I did. I had a very stressful first trimester and was (wrongly) told to terminate as baby would have serious health problems. He doesn't. He's a very chilled out teenager.

superstressy · 07/05/2020 20:01

I had 3rd trimester depression and anxiety and had to see a psychiatrist after DDs birth. She's a happy and confident 4 year old.

allfurcoatnoknickers · 07/05/2020 20:08

I did! Crippling anxiety and depression for my entire pregnancy. I also threw up the whole time and had horrible nausea. I was wretchedly miserable. I used to cry every day, had insomnia, panic attacks, the works. I had to see the special pregnant lady shrink every week, because my consultant was worried I was going to harm myself.

DS was breech and I had him through ELCS, and as I was wheeled out of surgery and into recovery, it was like a cloud lifted and I was suddenly me again. It was amazing. DS is 11 months old today and he's fab. Such a funny little sweetheart. Despite being horrible to share a body with, he's been the most chilled out, easiest baby. Decent sleeper, excellent eater, hits all his milestones bang on. He's my fab little sidekick and I luffs him.

Original poster

Iloveshapesiloveshapes · 07/05/2020 20:13

Thank you all so, so much, this was exactly what I needed to hear. If I can convince myself the baby is probably ok I can at least put this specific worry aside and then try and make strategies to avoid new ones arising

Come to think of it I did have some very very specific worries in my first pregnancy too, and later we were also told something might be wrong and that led to a lot of stress but I can't remember the first trimester being this bad. Knowing my child might still be happy and healthy is very reassuring as I am completely catastrophising!

OP posts:

Needallthesleep · 07/05/2020 20:30

Hi,

My husband and I were trying for several months for a much longed for first baby. The moment I got pregnant a wave of darkness washed over me (sorry about the cliches, it just describes it perfectly!). I wanted the baby out instantly, and went so far as to almost have an abortion. It was an awful awful time.

I told my midwife how I was feeling, and as a result got more support, more scans to help me bond with the baby, and I was granted an elective c section to help me control the situation. Gradually my feelings became more positive. It was a tough time especially because my husband was nervous about being a father for the first time so wasn’t fantastically reassuring!

I now have the most delightful two year old. I wouldn’t change our lives for the world. I’m pregnant with my second and I’m really excited this time. I actually had the same dark feelings at the start of my pregnancy, but I could recognise it was just my reaction to the hormone changes.

If you want to PM me at all please do xx

bearhug1 · 07/05/2020 20:35

Really hope you're doing ok OP.
I lost my Dad suddenly when I was 16 weeks pregnant which obviously triggered a whole range of feelings. At the time I was so worried about the impact of the stress/bereavement on my baby. But he arrived safe and sound and is absolutely amazing.
Us Mums have a funny way of getting through the impossible!

Beermoney · 07/05/2020 20:44

I did. Its awful. Its a cliche but eating well and doing fun things, support in the form of cuddles, talking all helped. I had PND.
Baby was fine and grew up to be a lovely person.

Duvetstay · 07/05/2020 20:56

I had horrible anxiety all through both pregnancies, lifted within 48 hours of the birth and never had any pnd.

Both dc very happy and sunny kids (I wouldn't say they were chilled out but I suspect that's genetic!)

Just hang in there op. Be kind to yourself, you're doing the baby no harm and this current situation is difficult for everyone. Just get through the days and enjoy your dc when they are here.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 07/05/2020 21:02

for you, OP - a horrible position to be in and I hope you have real life support, too.

I was very, very anxious and I think also depressed for about the first half of my pregnancy - I'd had three previous miscarriages and was having counselling for how low and anxious I felt when I got pregnant again. DS is only 22 months but he's a really happy child and we have a lovely bond.

Also, my mum's dad died when she was pregnant with me, and she said one of the hardest things about it was everyone telling her she mustn't get upset because it would damage me. I have had mental health challenges (see above) but nothing at all out of the norm, really - I know many, many people who have suffered much, much more - and I certainly don't feel 'damaged'.

Needallthesleep · 07/05/2020 21:29

Actually, re reading your OP I don’t think what I experienced is what you were after stories of! Sorry!

SuddenArborealStop · 07/05/2020 21:51

I had terrible depression and anxiety, signed off work etc I was also sick as a dog on both my pregnancies and DH is defo getting a vasectomy when normality returns!
I worried the adrenaline from my panic attacks was hurting her and the psychiatrist gave me xanex to help which I only took as needed, having it as an option helped calm me sometimes so maybe ask for some. DD is a very calm baby maybe she's already learned to ignore the drama
My mother commented about a week after she was born that she was happy to see me back as it was like I'd left my body for months.

Original poster

Iloveshapesiloveshapes · 07/05/2020 21:51

@needallthesleep oh it was absolutely, thank you, just wanted to hear that your child was ok

I'm sorry for all you and others have been through, though

Thank you all for the kind thoughts and reassurance

OP posts:

picklemewalnuts · 07/05/2020 22:09

@needallthesleep that is so similar to my second pregnancy! Except I didn't really tell anyone. I told them I was sick a as a dog, depressed, miserable... not that I regretted and got no joy from (at that point) my pregnancy.

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