Trigger warning - how do you get over injustice and abuse?

[Krazynights34]

Hi all,

I posted last December about a situation with a HCP at our local hospital that was really hard to deal with mentally (HCP was physically inappropriate and later verbally abusive) - hospital did investigate but sided with him (I guess it’s because he is in a same sex marriage and hence they wouldn’t risk giving me the benefit of the doubt). I went to the police who took it seriously but because of bc the marital status felt they couldn’t move on it.
Finally the GMC aren’t going to do anything (I heard today).
I’ve been fighting this for almost a year and it’s torn me apart.
I have my DD who is seriously disabled and lockdown is making things harder with her.
I wish I’d never told anyone.
In the past when I didn’t report things like this I got over it more quickly.
I have been in counselling for about 4 -5 years (since a while after my first DD was stillborn at full term).
So.. any advice on how to get past this?
I’m trying not to spiral away altogether

I'm sorry. I don't think you do get over it. Not really.

You don't. What you do is learn to live with it.

My experiences was different to you but happened when I was a child so Iv had many years and various support.

You never "get" over it but like ghost says you learn how to live with what happened and time does lessen the pain because the shock fades and it becomes familiar which has a lesser impact in day to day life.

I think about it like grief. In the early years it is overwhelming and has the capacity to consume you but as the years pass the pain never leaves and sometimes it bubbles over but most of the time it's in the background, not gone but bearable. Nothing can change what happened the same as nothing can bring a person back so it's a permanent change and you can't go back to before but you find a new way after it

Also justice is something you need to reframe In my opinion But that's one of the hardest parts I think. Even now But only occasionally i feel swallowed white hot rage of the injustice and the permanent damage that has been done to me!
Lots most survivors of sexual assault and childhood abuse never get the belief or or support or the justice through the court they deserve but it doesn't matter because you know what happened, you know that even if no one can help you to receive justice that what you have told people is actually what happened and that none of it was your fault.

For what it's worth I believe you, I believe you deserved better than that and better than what happened next! I also believe though that things will feel better for you than this one day!

Sorry I meant to add medical negligence and inappropriate physical and emotional treatment in there too!

Thank you all!
It’s the new me I don’t want to get to know.
It helps knowing I’m not alone

You do want to get to know the new you because the old you is still there too!

We are shaped by our experiences both good and bad and there's nothing wrong with that, you are not worse or a lesser worth person because something bad was done to you, you are just a person who has been shaped by an experience that in this case was a bad one (admittedly a very bad one!)

I had no choice but to get to know the me I am who has been shaped by what happened to me and it's especially complicated because these things happened before I could get to know the person I could or should have been because he took away that from me but after years of hard critical thinking Im Pretty confident that actually I'm fucking great!

So are you krazynights34 even though you have been "changed" by this is does not take everything else away! You be good to yourself and love who you are because you deserve it ok!

Awww those are some really amazing words Ginkypig!
And very true.