Would you tell a good friend who lives a long way away this news?

[DateandTime]

I've had a bereavement, not unexpected but making me very sad.

I have a number of friends/acquaintances but only really one good "cry it out" friend.

He lives a distance away. In normal circumstances we meet up about once/twice a month for an event about halfway between where we each live. Obviously not recently. I'm missing him which probably doesn't help with my current struggle.

I'm desperate to talk to him about this but he'll feel awful that he can't come over. Is there any point making us both feel bad?

He'll also be upset I didn't tell him but by the time he finds out the "need" will have passed iyswim.

I know people are going to jump to conclusions about our relationship but honestly we're long standing mates, both been happily married to other people for 25+ years. One of the things I love about him is how much he loves his wife and family

The only strange thing about this is that you won’t call him to talk about it?

My best friend is a guy and I’d just pick up the phone and call !

If it would make you feel better then do it

Facetime him?

Don't worry about him feeling bad. This is your moment of need, not his. He would feel much much worse to know you were suffering alone.

I have a long-standing friend who I normally see around 4-6 times a year. We’ve been friends for 39 years. Don’t always see much of each other, or talk, but it is the kind of friendship which it doesn’t matter.

Her husband is a carer, and she suffers from anxiety. She is having a tough time, and even though I can’t hug her, I can still support her. She felt bad that she shouted at her kids (teens) so I reminded her that they are getting older, she apologised and they know it is out of character. She is under pressure at work. Her boss gives her unreasonable deadlines , but she lacks confidence to stand up to him.

She says even being able to tell me it all helps, she doesn’t want to burden her husband.

Talk to your friend, remember the conversation can move on to other things,

Oh just call - he'd hate it if you didn't!

Of course let your friend know so he is able to support in whatever way he can at the moment.

Call or text him and tell him you're having a hard time

Definitely contact him. I’m sorry for your loss

Sorry for your loss. Definitely contact him. If i was your friend, I'd hate to think of you going through that and not calling me.

Do a video chat. He can still help you from where he is by listening and offering sympathy.

I would call him. I think he'd be upset if you don't.