Hi,
At our wit's end. Newly married to man with ASD/mental health (depression/anxiety but possibly more) problems. Together long distance for 5 years but he's spent many months here with me over the years. He recently left his home at the other side of the world to be with me. Expensive and stressful immigration process. Lots of ups and downs and communication issues anyway but things were fine for a few weeks after he arrived. But now we're on lockdown and it's hellish.
Our main problem is my upstairs neighbour. Loud aggressive man who is making our lives miserable and my husband suicidal. He is very sensitive to noise. He's spent many months here before but it was not as bad because we weren't on lockdown and the guy was at work a lot.
Since lockdown started he's been DJing up there to a Facebook crowd every weekend. So we have thumping music disturbing us and it's even worse for my noise sensitive husband. Neighbour shouts a lot, slams doors, swears loudly and stomps about. When he's not there it's lovely and peaceful but we're always on edge waiting on him returning.
We both own our flats so I can't just get him kicked out by a landlord because there isn't one. And we can't just up and leave easily either.
Husband has earplugs, white noise machine which helps a little and expensive noise cancelling headphones but can't exactly wear them all day. They hurt after a few hours. It's not fair on him.
Things have gotten so bad he slept in the garden shed for a few hours on Saturday night and has been looking at flights back home and also to the US (he has citizenship) where his child lives. I'm his wife we have been married less than 8 months and he's talking about leaving, I know he just wants to escape the noise but I am also affected, I'm not a one night stand or something! I feel stuck and desperate. And then he says that he'll kill himself to get away from it (I was very concerned about the sleeping in the shed because there's rope and cables in there but when I spoke to him at the time he said he wasn't brave enough to do it). But now he's talking about it again and I'm so worried.
I have had issues with this neighbour for the entire time I've been here. Not just noise related but multiple cases of water ingress due to his own negligence or stupidity. Sometimes I can approach him but I'm fearful of repercussions because he is so aggressive if you're not happy with him or press him on issues or to get things done. I managed to get myself up there on Saturday and knocked on the door during his DJing (he lives with his girlfriend) and asked him to turn it down because my husband can't sleep. He said ok but when I got back down I could hear it all kicking off up there, loud swearing and later on he was slamming doors.
We are both working from home just now (husband works remotely anyway) and when the neighbour is home we have to listen to his noise as we try to work. I have a garden which is enclosed and peaceful enough if there's not many people about but my husband won't sit in it, instead he stays in bed at weekends and watches movies or reads. Weekends are the worst.
We managed to get out for a long walk at a park yesterday (have had smaller walks throughout the lockdown) and it was so healing for us both to be in nature. We were just dreading coming back here. My stomach pains came back when we reached my town.
What can we do? What are those buy any house websites like? The place does need a little TLC but I just want to breathe again and not worry that my husband is going to kill himself or abandon me. I've been emailing MH and autism charities for advice but thought I'd ask here.
Anyone had to sell up quickly to escape a situation?
Thanks.