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Original poster

Maternity leave cabin fever

32 replies

Peanutbutterly · 04/05/2020 15:20

Is anyone else feeling claustrophobic from their four walls whilst on maternity leave? My DS is 5 months old and I'm on my own all day with him. He is the most spectacular little boy but I'm shattered. I feel trapped in this house and whilst I entertain him, give him naps etc I feel this growing need to run away (with him of course) and just embrace someone, anyone, preferably my mum, hand him over and go and spend an hour by myself knowing he is loved and cared for in my absence. My partner is working and has adopted some 1950s persona whereby I am now responsible for the baby and the house. I don't want to spend my days changing nappies, cleaning and cooking then have my partner tell me what a shit job I've done and ignore me for his five inch wonder (iPhone in case you're wondering). I want to show my baby off to the world, have mini adventures with him to family and friends he hasn't yet met and I want to drink coffee and eat cake with someone rather than just be a fat blob eating it at home on my own whilst my little baby sits and judges me...ok he doesn't judge but I definitely think he wants some but I can't even share it with him. And most of all I want photos of these memories instead of the album of 2020 looking like I had nothing better to do then watch re-runs of friends.

Sorry for the rambling on this. I don't think there is a point as such but I can't share with people who know me so thought I'd try here.

OP posts:

LouiseTrees · 04/05/2020 15:46

Ditto. Feel free to PM inbox me.

arinah · 05/05/2020 10:27

I could've written this myself, DD is 4 months and I adore the time spent with her, but slowly feel myself going senile looking at the same 4 walls, with the occasional sit down in front of the window with her to catch some sun (tiny filthy garden that the landlord left in an absolute tip, don't want to risk taking DD out for hourly walks when people on my street don't know how to distance themselves). And ditto to being expected to also be a model 1950s housewife. Please also feel free to PM, I am more than happy to have some company with someone who doesn't just babble!

arinah · 05/05/2020 10:29

If this isn't us by the end of maternity leave/lockdown...

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WhenTwoBecomeThree · 05/05/2020 10:33

This could have been my post OP, DD is currently 5 months but I have DP working from home. It's completely messed up my routine and he's just getting under my feet, I do everything for DD so not going to a supermarket or anything, we went to babygroups and saw family and now I feel trapped in the house.

LividLaughLovely · 05/05/2020 11:06

Ditto. Six weeks four days.

forevercurious · 05/05/2020 14:26

Yes me! DP is home all day and does his share however I definitely still feel like the default parent. I’m so sick of being home, even with our daily walks and I’m missing my family and friends so much! My mental health is definitely starting to be affected without my usual support of my mum, friends and classes. Online and FaceTime just aren’t the same!

underneaththeash · 05/05/2020 14:32

I would have gone spare during maternity leave being stuck in the house....I feel really sorry for you all. Hopefully, you’ll be out and about soon.

LolaLollypop · 05/05/2020 14:35

Ditto. Except I also have a feisty 2.5 year old to chuck in the mix. I'm so bored of doing the same thing every day!!

forevercurious · 05/05/2020 14:38

I can’t help but feel this precious time off work with our babies is being wasted. I truly love being with my DS all day but this will be my only chance to take him to sensory classes, baby groups etc as then I’ll be back at work. It’s hard to make the most of it when everyday is the same!

TinySleepThief · 05/05/2020 14:39

Yep same here. I have a colicky, teething screaming 5 month old and even though my DH is fab and sometimes takes over despite working from home im beyind bored. I feel like my entire maternity leave is being wasted staring at the same 4 walls and I'm missing groups so much, they kept me sane.

However most of the time when I voice this opinion on here in real life I get met with a barrage of people saying how lucky I should feel that I'm on maternity leave and not having to juggle work and childcare. They also keep repeating that their best memories of their babies first year were spent cuddling up on the sofa together seemingly forgetting they had a choice and I don't.

amazedmummy · 05/05/2020 14:44

Agree! DS is 5 months. I'm back at work in less than 9 weeks and I am bored out of my mind. Baby groups were really helping me with my PND and now there aren't any. No sympathy from most of Mumsnet because everyone seems to think it's a competition for who has it worse in lockdown.

bananamonkey · 05/05/2020 14:45

Yes indeed, a 3 week old plus a 3.5 year old here, it’s definitely not the mat leave I had planned and I want to scream into a pillow at the thought of staring at these walls every day for another 4 weeks.

Original poster

PeanutButterly · 05/05/2020 14:47

Even the walks every day are the same. I appreciate every one is in the same boat but fuck me it is dull. I'm the same with video calls....starting to worry that DS might soon think people only exist in screens

OP posts:

Sleepyquest · 05/05/2020 14:51

I feel exactly the same!!! Although my DH is at home too.
I would so love to go see the NCT girls for a coffee and take DD for a browse around the shops and not just sit in all day sorting laundry and plonking her in front of Little Baby Bum when we just want a sandwich break.

Original poster

Peanutbutterly · 05/05/2020 14:53

Oops NC fail above for me

I'm not back to work for a while. I'm both delighted and concerned about it. I feel like my brain is turning to mush.

OP posts:

Flumo · 05/05/2020 14:55

Maternity leave while trying to homeschool a 8 and 6 year old. Wouldn't wish it on anyone 😭

TinySleepThief · 05/05/2020 14:56

starting to worry that DS might soon think people only exist in screens

I gave up on trying to video call as hw gets too distressed. Plus I'm also massively concerned that my once social child who would go to anyone is now only going to be content with me and my DH. He's not been held by anyone else for over 8 weeks now!!!

Ceejay19 · 05/05/2020 14:59

Yep! 4.5 month old plus a 5 year old who needs homeschooling. The loss of the maternity leave I hoped for is one issue, and the monotony of the weeks is the other. The only difference between weekends and weekdays is I don't have to argue with my son about phonics, I get no more help with childcare as DH needs a break after a week at work (his words not mine). I've been insisting on 30 mins to go for a run a few times a week, but that's all the time I get for me. Can't wait for lockdown to end so I can do something a bit different!!

Original poster

Peanutbutterly · 05/05/2020 15:01

@TinySleepThief I think my baby is defective He does not enjoy cuddles on the sofa. He wants to either be eating, asleep or actively entertained.

I appreciate that it must seem easy for people homeschooling to be on maternity and having a cute cuddly baby. I understand it is to bond with the baby and recover. But I have recovered, our bond is like nothing I've ever experienced and now I want to enjoy life with him with others who love him too. It's no different to how anyone else must feel about seeing their family members and friends. I just so happen to be on maternity leave.

OP posts:

Original poster

Peanutbutterly · 05/05/2020 15:07

@Ceejay19 I understand perfectly the damage of those words from your DH as they are utter in this
house too. My poor sister is doing phonics with her 5 year old. Sounds like one massive ball ache! I feel for the homeschooling mum's. You aren't teachers, unless you are then I feel for you just because it still must be crap.

OP posts:

TinySleepThief · 05/05/2020 15:16

He does not enjoy cuddles on the sofa. He wants to either be eating, asleep or actively entertained

Likewise, mine is anything but snuggly.

Chocness · 05/05/2020 15:19

Ditto although I’m not on mat leave, stay at home mum for past 6 years. It’s a difficult gig, I’ve been planning my escape for most of that time.

Ceejay19 · 05/05/2020 15:19

@Peanutbutterly I've decided it's best to have low expectations of weekend help and then I'm pleasantly surprised if it's more. I realised what I wrote is a little unfair as he does help with the 5 year old, he just doesn't take the baby so I never get a break from both apart from a short run. He on the other hand gets a 3 hour lie in with no kids there 🤦🏼‍♀️

forevercurious · 05/05/2020 15:25

@TinySleepThief I worry about that for my DS. He’s not going to want to go to anyone else as it’s just been us 3 for so long :(

Original poster

Peanutbutterly · 05/05/2020 15:32

@Ceejay19 think I've found my parallel.... Well ok I only have one child but yes I have the baby alarm clock but he gets up when he likes because he works.

OP posts:

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