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Loss of neighbourly consideration?!

12 replies

itsallopticsanyway · 04/05/2020 13:25

Is it just me or are people generally becoming more and more inconsiderate towards their neighbours?

I always try to make sure we are considerate with noise. We have two small children (4 and 1). I never let them play in the garden earlier than 9am or later than 6pm. They have fun, but I never allow them to run around screeching at the top of their lungs. Their trampoline is placed in a way that none of the neighbours can even see it, and we keep it oiled so it doesn't squeak. We're link detached by only one room so very little house noise from people, but have gardens attached.

When we were having our garden landscaped last year I went round to all attached gardens (3) beforehand, said sorry in advance for any disruption and assured them all work would be done between 9-5 which it was.

We have a gas BBQ rather than a coal one because I think it's completely inconsiderate to smoke people out in hot summer months when they've got washing on the line and want windows open.

In January, the neighbours who are attached decided they were moving and started doing up their house. New kitchen, windows and bathroom. Huge amount of mess and disruption, vans on my drive blocking me in frequently, tonne rubbish bags dumped on my front lawn (the lawns are joined) smashing and hammering for two weeks. Not a single knock on the door to either warn us it was coming or anything.

Then today, neighbours who we share a fence with at the front whose back garden backs onto our front (they're house is side on) decide to replace their fence which they can only do by being on our property. They're using bloody power tools to dig out concrete posts and trampling all over my flower beds. Plus, DH is working in our office - or trying to- , which is about 4ft away from where they're working. He's just had to end a conference call because he can't hear a word. I'd just put the baby down for a nap and she's been woken. My 4 year old is (diagnosed) autistic, and gets really distressed at unexpected loud noise (loud motorbikes, power tools etc) it terrifies her. The noise started up and she actually wet herself (she is toilet trained). Also, we do visual timetables for her each day, and this afternoon's activity was chalking out the front on our driveway which we will now be unable to do. Doesn't sound a big deal but to an autistic child who relies on her timetables to keep her steady this change will throw out her whole afternoon.

I popped out the front and nicely said 'hi how long as are you expecting that to take and can you pleased not trample on my plants?'

Got told it will take as long as it takes and basically, tough shit. I said, again nicely that a knock to warn us would have been appreciated as you're on our properly, DH is trying to work, baby is in bed and our disabled child has been terrified. I explained that if he's have popped round (distancing of course!) I could have put baby to bed in our room, DH could have rearranged his call for later and I'd have moved 4 year old to the back of the house with her headphones on and given her decent warning that our activities needed to change. He just shrugged!

I honestly wonder why I bother ever being considerate to other people because no one returns the favour! Do people really just not give a shit anymore?

OP posts:
Lightofthephoenix · 04/05/2020 13:30

Some people just don't give a shit about others.

chickedeee · 04/05/2020 13:44

I understand exactly what you are saying and it is especially stressful when you have young children who need to nap/wake up early/ go to bed early Sad

People are very selfish and focused on themselves as a consequence which means they rarely see their effect on others!

I have no words of wisdom just empathy Grin

MagnificentMillie · 04/05/2020 13:49

I was reading another forum where the parents were laughing about letting their dc play out on a balcony at 7am, because children come first. No thought for anyone else at all.
I think 9am is fine too and yes, although we are very lucky where we live I do think it sounds as if lots of people don’t care about how they impact other people.

itsallopticsanyway · 04/05/2020 13:49

So many typos on that post, sorry! Typing in a huff!

I'm not unreasonable (I don't think) I get that we all have noisy and annoying things to do sometimes, it happens. But a bit of advance warning (or actually even a 'do you mind if we access your property?') would be nice.

OP posts:
MagnificentMillie · 04/05/2020 13:51

In fact, after re reading your post, tell them they are not to go on your property. So rude of them.

Brogley · 04/05/2020 13:52

You could always tell them to get off your property as they don't have you permission to be there l, which legally you can do, and then arrange a more convenient day/time for them to carry it out? Or grit your teeth and let then get it out of the way today so it's over with?

Windyatthebeach · 04/05/2020 13:53

Tell them to get off your land. Cheeky twats.

itsallopticsanyway · 04/05/2020 13:55

To be honest, the grumpy old woman in me did feel like doing a 'get orf of my land!' stance and kicking them off which of course I'm within my rights to do. I settled instead for saying 'please remember whose property it is that you're on!' before I went in and gritted my teeth. Because clearly it does need to be done, fair enough, it's just the bloody inconsideration of it that winds me up!!

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 04/05/2020 13:58

Why do they need to be in your garden to replace the fence?

Why can’t they be in their own?

I would he concentrates they are moving the lines slightly so they get a bigger garden

itsallopticsanyway · 04/05/2020 14:08

@MagnificentMillie I personally think letting young children play out at 7am is a total dick move and something that would have would me up when I was at work with no children. In fact it'd wind me up now Grin Some people just don't care though do they?

OP posts:
MagnificentMillie · 04/05/2020 14:10

Yes I don’t know why I got in to that as it wasn’t really relevant to what you were saying, it just reminded me of seeing that on another sub the other day.

Anyway be firm with those neighbours of yours.

itsallopticsanyway · 04/05/2020 14:18

@Soubriquet They're only replacing two panels of a really long fence, so they can't be moving it or they'd be out of line with the rest of the fence. I like your thinking though, people are cheeky shits.

OP posts:
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