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Unorthodox Classroom strategy for school return - fun, lighthearted

28 replies

bananaskinsnomnom · 04/05/2020 11:08

I wasn’t sure the best place for this, I Hope it can be taken light heartedly like it’s meant to be!

Several of my friends and family work in education in some shape or form (a mix of early years, primary and secondary, teachers TAs Admin and senior management) and in a conversation yesterday we started off with the usual “how do you think going back will work” “do you think we will really be back this year”, discussed practical and actually possible suggestions.......then it descended into some, let’s call them rather unorthodox methods to bring the children back:

  • the contamination booth. A pop up tent in each classroom, on arrival and departure the children enter the tent one at a time to be sprayed down with anti bacteria spray (with goggles on of course)
  • putting dye into the water supply and soap, so that we know if children are telling the truth about washing their hands!
  • Double decker desks! Stack the tables into pyramid style formations so that more children can fit into each 2 meter square cube. PE mats for safety.
  • move the whole classroom outside onto playgrounds and school fields! Mark the area into squares, each child has their own square - every couple of squares along on the grid is a pathway which is the exit/ arrival route. Children have everything for the day in their square and don’t leave the square except for the toilet with permission. Teacher stands at the front (or remains in their car) with a megaphone.
  • taps are fitted with a timer that sounds off an air horn if the child stops washing their hands before twenty seconds is up
  • Supply all teachers with a drone. Teacher remains at their desk, and send the drone over to children to pick up work, take pictures of work they are doing and teacher shouts feedback across the classroom.
  • all children are placed in the equivalent of a hamster ball and therefore have free movement
  • All children are given tweezers and tongs in order to pick up everything they need - they can only physically touch their own exercise books and assigned pencils and pens and stationary. Everything else, such as reading books, must be opened using tweezers. This will be especially beneficial to early years fine motor skills.

Like I say, this was a conversation descending into madness after drinking via zoom but I thought some of these ideas were pretty good and thought I would share, hoping others on here may have more. (I emphasise, lighthearted!)

OP posts:
Flopjustwantscoffee · 04/05/2020 11:17

My 6 year old suggested zorb balls for everyone (so I suppose similar to your hamster balls but a bit bouncier...) the more I thought about this the more I realised it was actually an excellent solution all round. E.g. compare going shopping with everyone in face masks, and gloves - distopian and scary, with going shopping with everyone bouncing about in zorb balls - brilliant!!! Literally can’t think of any downsides...

Flopjustwantscoffee · 04/05/2020 11:18

Except maybe buying eggs would be tricky, but I’m sure a solution could be found

bananaskinsnomnom · 04/05/2020 14:44

Zorb balls yes! And much more fun! Imagine the fun of going down slides......

Also been suggested that all children and staff where flippers - if you fall over someone’s flipper you’re too close

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bananaskinsnomnom · 04/05/2020 14:45

Also those inflatable dressing up costumes for padded protection....

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Difficultcustomer · 04/05/2020 14:50

The tweezers suggests a massive game of operation, need a buzzer if you touch something you’re not supposed to.

purpleheathers · 04/05/2020 15:08

All children to come to school in full scuba kit, complete with own air tanks that will not be shared. Parents to supply of course, though schools might want to offer a bulk buying solution to supply at cost.

Difficultcustomer · 04/05/2020 15:29

purpleheathers you’d be so popular with TAs and reception teachers helping children at the toilet Grin

bananaskinsnomnom · 04/05/2020 16:08

Toilet?! No no no that requires a totally different decontamination booth so therefore impossible. Likewise food. It will have to be inserted through their masks via a straw.

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Flopjustwantscoffee · 04/05/2020 16:21

What about giant sheep dips of dettol (diluted obvs) as the children arrive and depart from school.

Greenandcabbagelooking · 04/05/2020 16:24

Can I just say how much this had made me laugh. I’ve had a crap day, but you’ve really cheered me up. Thank you OP!

I have no clever ideas to add.

thanksamillion · 04/05/2020 16:28

I work in early years and were thinking massive sombreos to indicate the distance required. Also has the benefit of hitting any Ofsted requirements about sun awareness and reduces need for suntan lotion 😄

Pinkarsedfly · 04/05/2020 16:54

Everybody wears those clown trousers with a hula hoop waistband or crinolines, to help keep a reasonable distance.

bananaskinsnomnom · 04/05/2020 18:13

@Pinkarsedfly yes! Then everyone can keep their belongings in their trousers too!

Thanks @Greenandcabbagelooking you’ve cheered me up in return with your comment! So much doom and gloom, this conversation was just so funny!

I love the idea of sombreros too - also gets points for multiculturalism

How about those plastic hats that you put two cans of drink either side and straws come down? Saves germs on cups.....

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bananaskinsnomnom · 04/05/2020 18:16

And yes to sheep dips! They could just walk straight through those, saves each class having a tent!

OP posts:
purpleheathers · 04/05/2020 18:21

purpleheathers you’d be so popular with TAs and reception teachers helping children at the toilet

They can just go behind the bike sheds.

Greenandcabbagelooking · 04/05/2020 18:31

So, it turns out China might have beaten us to it.

futurism.com/neoscope/china-kids-social-distancing-hats-school.

I can’t imagine my kids wearing one, they can’t be relied upon to wear goggles when handling acids..

Elisheva · 04/05/2020 18:37

How about a drive in school? So all the parents park in their cars on the school field, kids in the back, and then tune their radio into the lesson being broadcast from a stage at the front of the field. Giant screens for PowerPoints/videos. The school could issue a list of equipment to bring each day.

purpleheathers · 04/05/2020 19:25

A drive in school is no good, what about the families who don't have a car? That's discrimination innit? You need to allow walking buses.

BreconBeBuggered · 04/05/2020 19:31

Install sets of those enclosed trampolines you get at fairgrounds in every classroom.(NB they might have to enter via the ceiling).
Staff can ensure a more dignified form of social distancing with either the clown trousers mentioned above, or a huuuuge. crinoline dress, like a walking toilet roll disguiser. Elegant and practical.

cate16 · 04/05/2020 19:40

I'm early years - I'm going to get sheep pens built, Each child will have it's pen for the day.

purpleheathers · 04/05/2020 20:27

Cate16 Ambitious. How will you get them in?

nedtherobbot · 04/05/2020 21:08

Bio hazard suit for all teaching staff, children can share germs as they please. Or battery hen type cages giving the minimum space needed, stacked where possible, children only need to crouch, sit or lie, standing and other movement not important, just pack in as many as you can. Perhaps a forklift can be used to transport the personal learning areas to and from the school gate. Nappies for all, you must stay only in your learning area.

Early years staff now need live in their work place, leaving is not permitted say good bye to your old life, you will probably be charged board. Children to be sheep dipped on arrival, they are to have dedicated nursery clothes which staff will launder after hours. There is the possibility they will become full time boarding houses so parents can continue to work with out exposure to the snot and stickiness that surrounds them. Staff will forever be known as unclean...

Prehaps a mass recruitment drive assign an appropriate adult per street. Children to be secured in one room of their house with street facing window which the adult will potrol and teach through the windows. Drones to be employed for flats, or complusery glass front doors.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 04/05/2020 21:15

Bubble wrap and cotton wool. PFB parents will be in their element.

Replace teachers with robots.

Robotic disinfection machines, like robot Hoover's but spraying disinfectant patrolling the classrooms.

Water balloon games for PE- with goggles and mild disinfectant. Maybe water pistols too.

Di11y · 04/05/2020 22:21

I'm now imagining giant bird cages hanging from the ceiling to maximise space. and junk modelling is design a 2 metre spacer from pointy sticks and other dangerous items.

bananaskinsnomnom · 04/05/2020 22:45

And I thought mine and my friends ideas were brutal Grin Love it!

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