My husband and I have begun the process to adopt a child. I understand that it's quite an invasive process and that they need to know a lot about us.
There is one particular incident that I don't really want to tell them about or discuss and I'm wondering whether I should. Advice is that we should be honest and open but that doesn't necessarily mean that we need to tell them everything so I'm a bit unsure.
Between the age of 12 and 14, I was raped numerous times by a family member by marriage (who was in their late 20s at the time). I didn't tell anyone and have only ever told my husband. I visited the hospital on one occasion due to injuries he'd inflicted with a knife but managed to dispel any concerns of abuse. The abuse ended when I fell pregnant (contraception was not used) and I had an abortion.
As it was never reported to the police, the only people who know are myself, my husband and the rapist (I assume he hasn't told anyone). The marriage that linked him to my family has now dissolved (the family member married to him died) and there is zero contact whatsoever between him and my family. I have only seen him once in the last eight years, which was four years ago at the funeral and we did not speak.
I'm perfectly stable in my wellbeing and secure in my decisions and how I handled the situation given the flaws of being young and naive. I do wish that the doctors or my teachers or other professionals had noticed and raised the signs (that seem very clear to me but obviously weren't clear from the outside) but I obviously hold no resentment or anger that they aren't psychic.
My question is whether this is something that needs to be discussed with my social worker? There is absolutely not enough evidence for a conviction of any kind so it would be completely absurd to make a police report and that would be very stressful for me. Would they be able to see that I had an abortion on my medical record? Do they have access to my full medical record is it just a current medical check?