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Original poster

Is my street the only one not doing neighbourly bonding?

35 replies

Readysetcake · 03/05/2020 10:58

Live in a big town on a road that leads to a big estate, so fairly busy even in lockdown. Does not lend itself to socialising. It’s just rows of semi detached houses on both sides (a very long road). We speak to our elderly neighbours on one side quite a lot (not attached) but not really to the attached ones (exchange hellos). This is mainly due to the fact the wife in the attached side is aggressive and angry and constantly screams and swears at 3 kids 11-4. Not the sort of person I want to make friends with.

Anyway, only one other house has ever clapped (opposite us) as she is a nurse. There is certainly no neighbour what’s app groups or socially distance socialising. Is my street in the minority? Or is our situation pretty standard and it’s just just the more quiet roads and rural villages that are being very neighbourly?

Just interested as I saw the VE Day FB Street party thing and though that would never happen around here!

OP posts:
Original poster
Readysetcake · 03/05/2020 13:57

Bump

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 03/05/2020 14:00

Quiet street, we know most of our neighbours to smile at and a few to talk to in more detail. There's no street bonding happening here. We chat in the street when we see each other, or when we're cutting the lawn in the front garden but otherwise it's business as usual with a little extra checking if some of the elderly neighbours need anything bringing in from the shops.

Nicolastuffedone · 03/05/2020 14:02

Very small street. Great neighbours, friendly but not ‘friends’ no clapping etc here. But here to help if needed. Perfect.

Original poster
Readysetcake · 03/05/2020 14:04

That does sound really nice!

OP posts:
thekaratekid · 03/05/2020 14:10

You are not alone OP. I have noticed in our road that only the people who spoke to each other before lockdown are the ones doing any sort of socialising now. Mainly nextdoor neighbours have a brief socially distanced chat. There hasn't been a great big community effort and no local WhatsApp groups (thank god!). We have some clappers but I would say only a third of houses take part.

I think round here a lot of people don't particularly like their neighbours. The houses are quite crammed which creates noise and parking issues. There is also a mix of 1, 2, 3, 4+ bedroom houses within the space of a few roads. This creates a broad demographic, which ironically means people don't mix very much. I think maybe if people live in a leafy cul-de-sac of detached houses there might be a bit more community spirit.

We are pretty miserable so mainly keep ourselves to ourselves. I will say hello and wave if I see someone though. Grin

PhilCornwall1 · 03/05/2020 14:10

No ours is the same and just the way I like it. Talk often to next door but that's it. If there is a neighbourhood WhatsApp group i don't know and certainly wouldn't want any part of it. Don't much talk to anyone else.

As far as clapping is concerned, I haven't got a clue who does in our road, as I've not been out myself on a Thursday evening.

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 03/05/2020 14:12

All that neighbourly jollies and clapping sounds like hell to me

Sarcelle · 03/05/2020 14:25

I bet more streets are like yours OP than the ones they feature on the media. My street is just the same as it always is. Anonymous and distant!

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 03/05/2020 14:29

Well my immediate next door neighbours go out and clap every Thursday night and he sat in his car constantly blasting his horn for 10 minutes. Unfortunately they’re a family of scum and no one in the street likes them. So I wouldn’t go by what people are doing in your street. I don’t go out clapping and I get on well with loads in my street and am on ‘hello’ terms with the rest, so. 🤷🏻‍♀️

PhilCornwall1 · 03/05/2020 14:32

Unfortunately they’re a family of scum and no one in the street likes them.

There is always one family like this in a street. Fortunately they don't live next door to us.

bengalcat · 03/05/2020 14:32

Had a flyer through the door yesterday advertising the street whatsapp group - mobile number to notify to be added to the group but no ID as to house number or name so who knows , it could be real or not . Not my thing so I'll give it a miss .

Wonkydonkey44 · 03/05/2020 14:34

No clapping on our street either, mind you most of us are key workers to be honest. We smile or wave but that’s it !

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 03/05/2020 14:37

There is always one family like this in a street. Fortunately they don't live next door to us.

You jammy sod! If I told you what I’ve had to put up with, you’d think I was making it up.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 03/05/2020 14:38

And I live in what Mumsnetters refer to as a naice area. 🧐

Harrysmum2020 · 03/05/2020 14:41

My street go out and clap also all hug each other ignore social distancing and play music out of cars for an hour can we swap please Wink

PhilCornwall1 · 03/05/2020 14:42

@T0tallyFuckedUpFamily It's crap when that happens.

Wayne and Waynetta Slob live at the bottom of our road. He's currently out cutting down a tree with a chainsaw, so I'm hoping he has a really bad accident Hmm

Crinkle77 · 03/05/2020 14:44

No our street not doing it either. We live in a little village mainly full of old people so possibly the reason why. My mum does talk to the neighbours so it's not like no one speaks to each other but we don't do any of that stuff thank god.

tectonicplates · 03/05/2020 14:46

I bet more streets are like yours OP than the ones they feature on the media. My street is just the same as it always is. Anonymous and distant!

This.

Thank you so much for writing this post, OP. I don't even know anyone on my street.

I think a lot of this "volunteer" work will be used as an excuse for recruiters to make sneery comments about what you did during the lockdown. "Why didn't you do volunteer work out help your neighbours? We don't want to hire you then", instead of just admitting there aren't enough jobs for everyone. I reckon when this is written about in history books we'll all get annoyed by some of the nonsense that's written about how people lived and related to each other.

Crinkle77 · 03/05/2020 14:47

Wayne and Waynetta Slob live at the bottom of our road. He's currently out cutting down a tree with a chainsaw, so I'm hoping he has a really bad accident

Just made me laugh that.

PhilCornwall1 · 03/05/2020 14:50

I reckon when this is written about in history books we'll all get annoyed by some of the nonsense that's written about how people lived and related to each other.

Especially if MN is anything to go by. Every bugger is dobbing their neighbours in to the Police because they dare to have two walks a day and buy Easter eggs and wine, which as we know is NOT ESSENTIAL!!!!

Original poster
Readysetcake · 03/05/2020 15:13

Interesting! Seems like the media have over hyped (as usual) the neighbour bonding effect this has had. I guess it all depends on who you live next to! I very much wouldn’t join a neighbourhood what’s app even if there was one, but would be happy to be a bit more chatty with neighbours if they were nicer. Sounds like some have a really good balance.

OP posts:
Original poster
Readysetcake · 03/05/2020 15:13

“ I think a lot of this "volunteer" work will be used as an excuse for recruiters to make sneery comments about what you did during the lockdown. "Why didn't you do volunteer work out help your neighbours? We don't want to hire you then"”

@tectonicplatesI really hope this isn’t the case Sad

OP posts:
PhilCornwall1 · 03/05/2020 15:22

“ I think a lot of this "volunteer" work will be used as an excuse for recruiters to make sneery comments about what you did during the lockdown. "Why didn't you do volunteer work out help your neighbours? We don't want to hire you then"”

Would that even be legal? Could always lie and say because you had to shield. It's not like recruiters don't exercise the truth.

MsTSwift · 03/05/2020 15:26

Studies shown that if living in no through road people are friendlier than living on main roads. We in mini cul de sac that is super friendly it was before lock down we have a WhatsApp group so we can shop for each other which very useful if you doing a recipe that say needs lemons you don’t need to make a special trip a neighbour will pick some up. We all share random stuff like cake tins or diy stuff having a socially distanced street party on Friday. Mix of families and recently retired couples also several older ladies on their own who I think really appreciate company

tectonicplates · 03/05/2020 16:26

Would that even be legal? Could always lie and say because you had to shield. It's not like recruiters don't exercise the truth.

It's absolutely legal to turn down someone's CV because you don't think they look interesting enough. Especially if you're one of those people who receives 500 CVs applying for the same job.

Ever since about 10-12 years ago we've been constantly bombarded with the message that volunteer work looks good on your CV. Unless you work in a particular industry where this is specifically needed, it's just not true. It's just a cover up, a way of blaming people for being unemployed when it would be so much more honest to just admit there aren't enough jobs available for everyone who wants one. I did volunteer work, put it on my CV and it didn't make any difference.

And if you say you had to shield, they'll ask you why you didn't do some online courses to improve your skills. Also they'll assume you have a serious medical condition, in which case they'll discriminate against you for that, which definitely is illegal but we all know it happens though nobody who does it would ever admit it.