Does successful equal good job / career to you?

[ragra]

Ive been thinking recently about how I feel like a bit of a failure and the main part of that is not having a well paid job.

I don't look down on any jobs or anything like that but personally I feel that I've not done well in life because I don't have a good job and all that it brings with it. I actually want to change this way of thinking but it isn't surprising that I think like this as my parents always said that they're disappointed in my job.

What does being "successful" mean to you?

Depends on circumstances doesn’t it?

Most low paid jobs actually work harder and longer hours than well paid jobs with perks.

DH earns well with bonuses, travel, extra holidays, dinners, paid for Christmas parties, etc

I work in a lower pod jobs, less holidays, more hours, no bonus as government job, pay our own meals etc

There’s a huge disparity.

I should say, I’m on my feet all day and he’s not!

Absolutely not.

A successful person is a happy person, regardless of what their job or status is.

You haven’t succeeded at anything if you have a “good” career/job but you’re unhappy.

Heartsonacake has said what I wanted to say.

Yes I do.

I'm in my mid 30s and still doing the same level of admin job I was doing when I graduated. I've applied for so many jobs and had so many interviews but I'm just not confident enough to get anywhere. I'm embarrassed and sad.

ArtisanPopcorn yup that's me. I'm nearly 40 and feel like a huge failure. I haven't even been able to move up in admin. Still doing low paid entry level jobs. I've recently applied for some interesting jobs but I'm so shit at interviews. The last one gave me feedback that I wasnt confident enough. I'm desparate to do something interesting and challenging where I can use my head.

@ragra glad I'm not alone. I'm thinking of doing a master's as some point as I work at a university and can get 50% off the fees but I worry I'll still get nowhere and it'll have been a waste of money. At the same time I'm also trying v hard to raise my daughter to be more confident and we'll educated than I am.

It did in my 20’s and 30’s but now in my 40’s (having had a successful, well paid career) it is happiness that I think makes you successful. I left my job/career 18 months ago as I couldn’t bear the long days, never having enough time with the kids etc and now do something much less well paid, arguably just as hard work (but local) but not what anyone would define as a ‘successful career’ but I consider myself more successful because I am my family are much happier.

@thewinkingprawn but I feel like it's different for you as you've already 'proved yourself' if that makes sense!

Pay has no relation to the importance of a job.

A friend is a vet nurse, without him the vet can’t work, yet his pay is fairly low.

You can get interview coaches, but a lack of self belief will show, you’re value really isn’t based on qualifications and ££££s in the bank.

I have a reasonably well paid job (£40k), but the pressure has quite literally made me ill, and the massive amount of stress makes me not like myself at all. So I don't feel successful at all despite running a company! At 49 (nearly 50) I'm seriously thinking about something completely different.

So no, I don't think well paid means successful. I think happy is far more important.

Success to me job wise is being able to pay the bills, be able to provide the extras for my children, save for a rainy day and be able to treat myself when I want.

The job or title doesn’t bother me. It’s more about ensuring a very different life than my childhood.

Success is enjoying life, having time and money to do what you love.

The trick is finding that money and that time. A well paid job tends to give with one hand and take away with the other.

I think being successful is about living your life in a way that is consistent with your own values, and meeting the goals you set for yourself.

For some people that will mean earning a lot of money. For some people, it will mean having their achievements recognised by people whose opinion they value. It might mean making other people's lives better, or living your life in a way that helps the planet.

So s banker might be successful, or someone who works in a minimum wage job they don't care about and makes amazing honey,, or quilts or volunteers. Someone might be a care worker who is paid a pittance and still treats the people they care for with dignity and tenderness and respect. It might mean being that friendly face in the local shop/pub/cafe/etc who is the centre of the community. It might mean being the person who has a solid group of loyal friends and family. It might mean giving up money to do work you love, or to care for your family. It might mean giving up work you love to get a job that pays more money so that you can support your family financially.

Yes, I do, and I can’t shake it.

I’m a sahm for the foreseeable and when I do get back to work, it will be to a “job” rather than a “career”.

That said, I’m mostly content and have a great life. So I don’t equate career success and happiness. And I’d rather have the life I have now than the one before when I was successful. But I miss the respect, self worth and financial security. Especially the respect. Everyone ( everyone )talks down to you when you’re a sahm

On paper most people would consider me successful. I don't feel it. I yearn for a simpler less hurried life. On the coast.

I think the stress of it all makes me un happy.

I define success as those whom are most happy with what they have.

To me success is having a good balance of life and work and enough money to have a nice time of it. I earn above national average, though lowish for London, my husband earns well but intermittently (freelance) but I feel pretty successful as we have enough for a nice life but niether of us is chained to long hours and we have time with our families and time for hobbies etc.

No, I think a lot of people who are in jobs with high pay are trapped in the rat race, working for a big company , keeping up with higher bills and not always being in control of how they spend their time.

I think people are successful when they have figured out how to have more control over their life , probably working for themselves , or at least for something they’re passionate about . Their income might be lower than a corporate package but they don’t need to spend so much money on ‘ stuff’ to convince themselves that it’s worth putting money at the centre of your life .
Oh God ,that was a bit long. can see I’m desperate for a conversation ....

Oh nice to see others saying similar @BroomstickOfLove and @Echobelly. It’s having a balance , you put it better.

Absolutely 100% not.

Some of the most successful people I know work P/T, live very frugally, don’t give a stuff about material possessions / fashion / tech etc etc. They live in a very beautiful, but quite isolated part of the country and have loads of free time with their young family. They have everything they need or want and are very happy with their lives.

As corny as it sounds, successful to me equals happy.

I have no qualifications and a low paid job but I consider myself successful because I'm happy and have a good circle of people in my life.

No.

I really like my part-time job but I'm fulfilled by self-employment alongside. I like to balance a bit of both whilst also having time to live how I want to, to an extent. Time for leisure, not having to ask for annual leave worrying that I won't get it as 2 other colleagues want leave at the same time etc. Work-life balance is important for me, work especially having to be something I actually like doing, with no long commute. I guess as some pp's have said, being happy = success. I've had past obstacles, some my fault due to shitty work & life/partner choices, and through it all I eventually realised what would make me happy so aimed for that, in single-minded fashion. Work, family, DP, good friends everything is good, and that's enough. I'm not living a happy beatific life daily but I'm happy 90% of the time and that's ok.