Shared houses? Good experiences

[abitoflight]

DD wants to move to Cheltenham. Loves the Cotswold area and as a family we have spent a lot of time around there but not actually in Cheltenham itself, more Cirencester and environs.
People I know - about early 30's - have mentioned that in houses they have shared, mostly people stay in their own rooms and have little to do with each other. These are men if it makes a difference?
Anyone have experience of shared houses when moving to a new area? Any pointers as to what to look for or otherwise?

Totally depends on the individuals.
Some people are more sociable than others.

I suppose not totally - there is an element of the layout of the house or flat. Many student houses don't have much of a 'living area' as they tend to get turned into extra bedrooms. As people get a bit older and move into 'young professionals house shares', then they do tend to have that living space, so are therefore more likely to used that shared space.

DS1 moved to a professional shared house a few weeks before lockdown. There are 5 of them, two men and three women, all of similar ages. They do lots together. When he viewed the house some of them were having dinner together. The landlord said that the character of any new housemate was very important to her.

The showing round in this house was a little different than others says DS1; he was allowed to spend some minutes talking to the other housemates, in contrast to other shares he viewed which were very quick and mostly when no one was at home. HTH.

I only shared once with one person, she wasnt social, so i left her to it... Many people in the big cities dont socialise much with housemates, but it really depends on what each individual is looking for.

I agree with @BackforGood - it totally depends of the individuals.
Years ago before my baby and back to my very early 20's my partners friend suggested a house share. It wouldn't of been that bad of an idea at the time until he suggested we both worked and he wanted to stay home, not look for a job, and play on his computer all day. Ha not happening!

Flatshares do vary. Some are very social and take great care in picking new housemates, others are ships that pass in the night type places and a quick hello is all you can expect.

To be honest for me it's more about how the house is run; do people keep it clean, not nick your food, don't hog the bathroom for hours, no gf's of bf's being stealthy moved in and not contributing, noise that ends at a reasonable time each evening etc.

Thank you. Good to hear some good experiences

I house-shared for around 8 years in Cambridge - had a few ups and downs, but nothing awful, and I lived in two city-centre locations where I could never have afforded to live solo.

I agree with the above posts. Professional house shares generally have a different dynamic to student ones. How sociable the house is really depends on the group and the layout, so if you want a more sociable experience, look for a house with connubial living space, rather than one where the living room has been turned into a bedroom.

In both places we housemates did viewings, rather than the landlord or letting agent, and we picked people who we thought would fit in as well as keep things clean and pay the bills. For us, that was someone who was happy to have a chat or watch tv with us, but not throw wild parties etc. The second place I lived in was a pretty, well-kept house in a very desirable location. Everyone who came to view wanted to move in, so we always had a choice.

Communal! Definitely not connubial

I lived in a house share in Ciren, for 2 years( over 20 yrs ago). I had a lot of fun, there were ups and downs like normal relationships. But we had a lot in common and pretty much all got on very well most of the time. We had a whiteboard on the wall for a cleaning roster ( which didn't always work to be fair but we tried) etc. We mostly did our own food shop, but quite often clubbed together for a curry/chippie after the pub ( Friday nights) I have some very fond memories of my time in that house. Still good friends with my old housemates, we've been to each others weddings, visits when we're in the UK etc.

It was a positive experience for me.

I moved into a flat share in London with a couple of strangers - both women of a similar age to me. Almost 10 years later, one of those women has become one of my best friends (and it's been about 7 years since we moved out).

I think another option is moving in as a lodger, with someone who is buying the house / flat and then lets out the spare befroom to help with costs.

Slightly different vibe from the 'house share' where all 3 or 4 of you are tennants, but can have positives - at least it means your flatmate is likely to look after the place.

Did house sharing on and off for 15 years. I'm a fairly social person so have a lot of good memories and friendships from house sharing. One of my best friends is from a house share 20 years ago.

Most of mine were through people i already knew though. But my last one was an ad online, the tenants were interviewing, five mins after arriving we're having a beer together. Yep the house wasn't great but the house mates were so i moved in and had a great few years

I've been a landlord of shared houses for the past 25 years. And it all depends! Some get on really well and socialise together and all that. It's far more common for people to keep themselves to themselves, but still be civil with fellow sharers. And there have been plenty of times when they all hate each other (or they all hate one in particular) and there are daily rows and general disfunction. I try to be extremely careful when choosing new tenants and go to great lengths to find 'nice' people who I think stand a good chance of getting on with the others, and it generally works.

I have had some lovely houseshares but the best was where we were lodgers. My landlady was very lovely and we socialised, went on holiday together. We had some great parties. Life was good. We had access to every area from which I gather through reading on here is not necessarily common. Some people want lodgers to pay and not be seen or heard.

After years of house sharing in various forms, and seeing friends doing so, if she wants a sociable house share then there are two things I would look for

1. The current housemates pick who moves in, not a landlord / agent. Look on spareroom.co.uk for such arrangements. It means that you get to meet the housemates and check to see if you 'click' first. When landlords fill the room they'll just take the first person who can pay the rent, and you have no control over who moves in afterwards either.

1. Pick a home with a shared living room; the communal space and a TV is conducive to chatting, rather than encouraging people to hide in their rooms.

That's my experience @Northernsoullover - well, with me as the "landlady" 30 years ago. I let out my spare room remember we were paying 13%interest on our mortgages at that point and welcomed my lodger into my life, and introduced her to lots of activities and friends in what - for her - was a new City.
We are still friends to this day
I had other friends who had, and who were lodgers and they just 'got on' and din't really mix or socialise together. It totally depends on the dynamic and personalities and circumstances of all concerned. With no 'one size fits all'.