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Struggling with DS13 and school

2 replies

Fluffybeebee · 30/04/2020 16:16

DS13 is really struggling at school, we are trying to get him assessed for ADHD. He just cannot focus at all on schoolwork. I sit with him for hours everyday going through all the work set by the teachers. We are starting to miss out subjects that he won't be doing for GCSE because it takes so long. If I leave him to do it alone he won't get anything done and will end up staring out of he window or destroy pens/find stuff to fiddle with for hours.

I'm exhausted and frustrated. At school his behaviour has been an issue. He's a reasonable and lovely boy to talk to one-time but as soon as other children are around he turns into the class clown, plays up, gets distracted and distracts others.

We have had hours of talking about what he wants to achieve in life and how important education is. He's a good boy really, doesn't argue about sitting down to do work but he just doesn't seem to 'get' what he's supposed to do. I can see he is only concentrating 40% of his brain on what we are doing and often comes out with random comments that have nothing to do with the work we are doing.

His latest school report has just come out and he has slipped even further down. For 75% of the subjects he is underachieving. He is in the lowest sets for everything. We have got him an English tutor which seems to be helping but breaking us financially.

Has anyone had a similar experience with their teens? While he is doing better at home than at school, it is largely down to me going through all work with him as he does it. I am at my wit's end.

OP posts:
crazycrofter · 30/04/2020 16:24

Our ds is also 13 (year 9, August born) and we had him assessed last spring/summer because of similar issues. He ticked all the boxes for moderate ADHD and he was prescribed medication.

It hasn’t been plain sailing since though as I don’t feel we have the medication right. There’s lots of options - different dosages and release times - and ds has been slow to raise issues (usually just after we’ve had an appointment with the psychiatrist!).

Year 9 has been tricky, but I think medication is worth pursuing if you can get a diagnosis. Ds felt it helped him to calm down and concentrate. However he also said it made him feel down so we’re working on getting the right dose after lockdown.

It’s not a magic bullet though and I’m becoming reconciled to the fact that ds won’t achieve his potential academically. He’s been better at home because of lack of distractions. We home educated for years 5 and 6 and found he was better focused then but really can’t do it now unfortunately.

Another benefit to a diagnosis is that teachers do (mostly) take it into account and try to help by sitting him in the right place, keeping him on track.

Fluffybeebee · 30/04/2020 19:19

@crazycrofter Thanks for taking the time to reply.

It sounds like I need to push for an assessment although I am not sure how much is happening in the current climate.

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