A whinge

[tunnocksreturns2019]

Just another ‘I’m finding lockdown really hard’ whinge.

I can WFH but my job is busier than ever. My DCs are lovely but hard work and one has additional needs.

My oven is broken.

My DH would be a huge help but he died three years ago. I was at breaking point before lockdown.

Kids have experienced a pretty major grief regression. The Easter ‘holidays’ were a nightmare.

I am so tired and so lonely and so stressed.

I feel like I am failing all the time despite working my usual number of hours at least as well as trying to get kids to do some academic work, engage with zoom music and dance lessons and reading, gardening, Lego etc. with them. I have resources coming out of my ears but not time to engage with everything.

Did I say I was tired? I am TIRED.

Right. Back to work. I know it could be worse. I do wish my husband was alive though. He was lovely.

Unmumsnetty hugs for you

I would like a holiday 🤣

One minute I think I'm ok then I'm having a 3 hours snotty cry marathon like last night
My baby was born 1st day of this year, then my mother died a week after unexpectedly. I don't think I really managed to sort my head out before the virus came
I find it hard having DH at home all the time
I feel fat and disgusting and unmotivated even though there are plenty of things I should be getting on with
First world problems and I feel bad for feeling bad

@tunnocksreturns2019 Are you a member of the WAY foundation? I've been seeing a lot of posts on their FB page about bereavement and lockdown. I reckon there'd be lots of focused support from people in similar positions on the WAY boards.

I'm sorry you and the kids are having such a rough time of it. Bereavement totally sucks. My OH died over 10 years ago, and very well remember the grimness of those early days/years.

Among many, many horrible aspects of grief, there was something particularly visceral about not having a sofa cuddle companion at the end of a hard day.

Big hugs to you

Sorry I've just realised my whinge about DH being home was very insensitive
I'm not in a very good place today
I hope you start to feel better soon

@Comps83 Big hugs to you too - it must be really, really hard dealing with a baby having just lost your mum.

Oh my stars, you poor thing. That's not a whinge, that's a very necessary statement of some pretty sad facts. I wish your husband was alive too.

I wish I could send you real-life wine, chocolate, cake and flowers.

and . (MN, any chance of a chocolate emoji?!)

And could come look after your children so you could have a break. You must be exhausted.

Are you able to rest in the evenings? But I guess then the grief and loneliness really kicks in.

I’m working in the evenings mostly though been catching some great National Theatre Live screenings when I can.

Love to you all. Various other hard situations in your messages

Ooh, top tip for today:

If you’re working from home and your kids are fighting, I suggest putting radio 3 on in the background. You might not be able to concentrate any better but it makes quite an arty, cinematic soundtrack.

Even better tip - whack on Neil Diamond at a volume they cannot fail to register and there will be a mass dispersal. . .

I remember you from your past, tunnocks. I am sure you are not failing but wonder, very gently, if you are setting your standards a bit high with regard to school work, lego, zoom etc? Maybe let things slip a bit?

And that is posted with greatest respect & an un-mumsnetty hug.

Big hug from me too. Be kind to yourself. If you don’t get everything done give yourself permission to drop a few extracurricular activities. We have stopped virtual cubs etc and are just enjoying a pizza and movie instead.

I'm so sorry op. I'm sorry your dh died. That's so sad and he sounds lovely. Are you up for telling us about him? Please don't feel you need to