Gf in mother and baby unit, getting worse :(

[Spardy88]

Hi there everyone, I'm new to the forum and coups really use some advice I'm under an immense amount of stress with my girlfriends situation, cutting the long story short she suffered pre birth all of a sudden with depression and an immense amount of anxiety which ended up over time her being put in a mother and baby unit, to put it into perspective the mother and baby unit did not help her at all, they never had a permanent doctor reviewing her meds and forward 7 months later she got discharged after feeling a bit more herself, she done well for two months then I came home one day to her having taken an overdose, she's not in the mother and baby unit once again and this time is ending up worse, she's tried 4 different ad's and I'm starting to lose hope and now they are thinking of discharging her from the unit to come home when she is in such a bad day, my gf has done cbt ever since this has happened and as much as it helps sometimes the anxiety is too severe and the depression is bad so she can never really move forward, do u think it's worth trying a different antidepressant and possibly taking her to be seen private.

You've ended up in a bit of an obscure section of the site and I'm worried your post won't get seen and you won't get the replies you need
I'll report your post and see if they'll move it

Hi folks

We're just moving this one over to our mental health topic.

Thank you so much, sorry about thay

Private isn’t any better. Just a different doctor. I’d ask for a second opinion/ change of consultant first.

I don't have any decent advice. It's admirable that you're actively seeking help. I was so mentally ill (predominantly from getting into an abusive relationship after a massive mental breakdown) that I had a mental health community midwife visit me weekly until I had my baby. But it was me alone who had to seek help if I needed it.

I would have really appreciated having my partner on my side. Obviously he was a major cause of the problem so that would never have happened.

I don't know how old you both are. But I found children's centres/ healthy start/ surestart centres a boon when I had my first. Obviously they're not open right now but there would still be people to talk to.

I really hope she gets well soon.

Sorry for the hard time you are all going through. If she didn't suffer with anxiety or depression before pregnancy, then you could try getting her referred to an endocrinologist.
How long did you know her before this started? Does she have other family support? Did I understand correctly that she stayed in the mother and baby unit for 7 months? Does she get outside and exercise every day? Time away from the baby sometimes?

She has immense amounts of family support from both sides, she hasn't got the motivation to do anything these days but looks after our daughter just as good as all mums, shes tried mirtazapine, sertraline, prozac and currently on venlafaxine, the sertraline helped her depression but her anxiety was still pretty bad, she has no history of mental illness but it does run in the family, it's got to the point Where's she's so confused shes even put our relationship on hold, I'm still fully supporting her daily and always see her and my daughter but this anxiety has taken over big time.

I was very ill after one of my children was born which eventually resulted in my being sectioned when he was a year old. To get there i went through a whole load of different anti depressants, then lithium was added and then anti psychotics were added to the mix, drugs to ease the side effects, diazepam and sleeping tablets. Doses were tweaked and adjusted and I was taking higher than recommended maximum doses and then I tried ECT.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is there are plenty of options available to help your partner but she needs a psychiatrist involved so that all the options can be explored.
FWIW lofepramine at a high dose was the antidepressant that worked for me coupled with lithium and a few other bits thrown in anyway.

Really appreciate all the feedback it gives me some hope back which I thought I lost, I've had my own mental health issues in the past and have since been free of any issues for over 8 years thanks to the right meds, just feel like I'm losing my family at the moment as from one day to the next my gf decided to go on a break with me and I've done everything possible to help up until this day but she doesn't seem to be in the right frame of mind right now
:(

How long has she been on the venlafaxine? It’s a tough drug in terms of side effects but can work miracles (from personal experience). I wouldn’t expect a miracle, but try not to lose hope. Recovery is possible and at least she is receiving help - although it must be really stressful for you both particularly at the moment. Do help your partner and act as her advocate in pushing for a new doctor or a review of her treatment plan if you dont feel like it’s working at the moment. Stay on her side. She needs you, and your baby needs you. You’re a team regardless of what state your relationship is in at the moment. Wishing you lots of luck and hope for the future

She has been on venlafaxine a good 10 weeks now and I believe 8 of those weeks are on a high dose of 225mg, I was on venlafaxine myself and it saved me honestly but as they say what works for some won't necessarily work as well for others, they've added quetiapine to the mix but it's honestly made her into a zombie and her depressive mood and anxiety hasn't improved if not got slightly worse, it's about finding the right balance at the moment the only med she had some luck on was sertraline which helped her depression immensely but anxiety was still a major issue.

Venlafaxine is often used to treat anxiety alongside depression. I’m no pharmacist but 225mg isn’t a massive dose. I had been on 225 mg till I had a breakdown last year (outside factors, it wasn’t a failure of the meds) amd had my dose increased back up to the max of 375mg and it’s made a huge difference. I’ll get the dose reduced one day!
I had tried Mirtazipine alongside the venlafaxine-I believe using drugs in tandem can be quite successful-but it wasn’t for me

Lots of people have MH issues triggered by them having their own children. Have they offered any counselling. CBT has it place but it made me incredibly unwell as not the right sort of therapy for me. Also what are the MH issues in her family sometime there is a bit of a genetic element.

I don't mean this unkindly but where is the baby? is it born, due soon, who is the father?

ah... ok OP your name has changed;

Have they ruled out:

Bipolar?

cPTSD?

PTSD?

Schizophrenia?

Personality disorders?

What mental illnesses feature in her family background?

Whatever prescription your partner gets should alleviate symptoms of anxiety/depression. It is very simple. If it does not do so, then
a. her prescription needs to be adjusted
b. she is availing go other stimulants which interfere with her prescription
c. she has been misdiagnosed.
d. she does not take her prescribed drugs
push whichever one you feel will benefit the child you have together and choose correctly for your child. She is a big enough girl now to make her own decisions.

Dear OP my heart goes out to you ♥️ How long have you been a couple? How did you meet and when did you decide to have your daughter? No need to answer the questions if you don’t want but I have hope you will all come through this to a brighter day in time. You seem a wonderful and very committed partner and dad. Are you getting any emotional and practical support right now? You need support with the emotional toll this will be taking on you. I will pray that the right combination of medication and therapy will be found to help your partner. She is doing so well to still be caring for her daughter so while in the middle of this suffering.

Well at one point she was sectioned and she had a full assessment from a mental health team which included a psychiatrist and whole load of different doctors who came together to look at the issues she's going through and they advised she has Pnd and GAD, also her family has a history of depression and anxiety issues from her mums side, yeh should have mentioned I'm the father sorry lol, my mental health is fine at the moment I'm just over stressed that's all and tryna take it all in but have my psych to speak to if need be.

PND is a horrible thing.

Gosh. I don’t really have special advice for you not knowing anyone, who has been through this.

I tried venlafaxine many years ago but didn’t find it terribly effective. Perhaps my dose wasn’t high enough but it interfered with my sleep cycle. I was changed onto another antidepressant, which worked. With your gf, I would think the doctor should perhaps be exploring taking something alongside this seeing as your gf is on trial no 5. But that’s just my lay opinion.

Idk how old she is or if she’s getting family support for day to day things. Have you spoken to her / her family about her prescription meds? Seeing as there is no permanent doctor there, has she / you / they contacted her normal Gp surgery for advice on how to get more support? If the M&B unit are not providing her with what she needs, maybe your Gp can be assist or apply some kind of pressure. It is pointless to admit her then discharge her before she is well.

You also asked about private support. It seems to be very difficult these days to be seen by a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist these days. When I had an episode of major depression almost 30 years ago, I was put on a waiting list and saw a clinical psychologist weekly at the hospital for over a year. A few weeks of CBT that seems to be offered these days really doesn’t cut it.

Many years later, I paid for my own therapy with someone, who was amazing. I’ve finished now. But therapy sessions are about £50 an hour and I saw someone ever 2-3 weeks for 2 hours at a time as I found long sessions more effective for me.

It sounds as though she’s taken a big step back from the relationship to protect herself and ensure she can care for the baby to the best of her ability with her current resources. I think right now you need to protect your own mental health, ensure the baby is ok and face that your relationship may not last. Perhaps it will with time and if she can find more balance things with change between you. However, you cannot depend on this happening.

To access the support, I’ve found you often need to know how to do it. This is basically making your voice heard, asking for referrals and if refused, asking for second opinions. You can also say you’re not happy with certain treatment and if nothing is done, there are ways to complain, which you can google.

Can the Gp get her referred to a proper, open ended specialist therapy from a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist? And if not, can they get her on a pathway so that she can eventually be referred?

My heart goes out to you both. How well does your baby sleep? I ask because broken sleep can make you very unwell.

Does she have access to talking therapy in the mother and baby unit?

I know it sounds barbaric but ECT treatment worked for a family member when months of anti-depressants had no effect. I was amazed because she went from thinking her thoughts were being broadcast on the news to being back to her old self in a few weeks. I understand that people are nowadays under anesthesia for the treatment.