Just musing really...
I have had a couple of experiences of this in my life time (early 30s) and also witnessed similar behavior towards my friends which I believe stems from a combination of jealousy and insecurity. A few examples -
- My friend I have known for 15+ years who has struggled being single for a long time has previously lashed out at me on multiple occasions, - when we were younger and I was single, she would lie to men who came to speak to me saying I had a bf, physically block them with her body and speak to them herself and tried to criticise my current partner during the early dating stages, comments like.. he smelt of B.O, was too tall for me etc) actually he is the most fantastic partner I could have wished for and I am glad I ignored her comments. I have noticed throughout the years she has distanced herself away from me and also other friends in her other groups with partners. We are still friends but the connection has unfortunately dwindled.
- My SIL and her partner have never been very friendly or welcoming with myself - this has upset me quite a lot and I can honestly say I have always been friendly, kind and pleasant to both of them. They live very different lifestyles to us (absolutely nothing wrong with this!) and we have been fortunate in ways that they haven't been - some of this boils down to hard work and taking sacrifices when we were younger & also luck - its difficult to elaborate without going into a lot of details but think family relationships, careers, fitness & health etc. Our life is NOT perfect and we would not want anyone to feel like it is.. but myself and my partner have been on the receiving end of very bitter comments from them (i.e criticising our choice of holidays, comments about how often we see my family - weekly sunday lunch is apparently us 'mooching' off my parents & comments have been made about me being able to go to the hairdressers and what a waste of money it is) and they are constantly very awkward about trying to meet with us! Its got to the point where we rarely see or talk to them despite multiple efforts from our side. I find it sad and other than jealousy/insecurity I really don't understand what else it could be!
- My mother has been at the receiving end of her sister - with sharp sarcastic comments about how often she sees her children - my auntie is not very close with her children and later admitted that she finds it difficult to keep in touch with them - sharp digs like this are made quite often - its sad but my mum has learnt to ignore them for the sake of their relationship.
Overall I find it a massive shame that relationships can dwindle/ come to an end due to rubbish behaviour inflicted by individuals that can't control their emotions. It is a natural emotion to feel jealous and I completely get that, I have experienced feeling jealous myself but I try and not let it get the better of me, if anything other people can be facing demons that no one knows about and in life- generally we all have good and bad things happen to us (life is a rollercoaster as they say!)
I have typed this up very quickly between sleeping children so I am not sure if this is just one huge ramble!
Just wondered whether anyone else has had any experience of this and if so; how has it impacted you?